The Return of Zob?
When I was a young girl, segregated from the ugliness of the world in my own private Shangri-La, the high priestesses of Zob would tell me the most enchanting bedtime stories. One of those tales was about a handsome, heroic man named Drofmot. According to legend, Drofmot was the protector of Zob and the guardian of all things gorgeous. I asked the priestesses why I hadn’t met Drofmot yet, since I was the chosen being who had been possessed by the spirit of Zob. They told me that Drofmot had not been born yet.
Later in my life, when I began to comprehend the eternal nature of beauty and the timelessness of Zob, I started to realize I that I might not ever meet Drofmot. Everywhere I went I looked for my handsome hero, yet I knew that the Evil AntiZob was conspiring to keep us apart.
On that fateful day when the spirit of Zob was forced to flee my body, I had to come to terms with my newfound mortality. I also had to accept the fact that I would never see Zob reunited with her protector. I resigned myself to a life of humble mediocrity, like the rest of you plebes.
Anyhow – to make a long story short – I read something today that me realize that Drofmot and I were nearly together again at the end. I don’t know how I didn’t see it; I must have been blinded by the hideousness of the Evil AntiZob. The spirit of Drofmot has taken a mortal form known to the world as Tom Ford!
Now Tom Ford wants to adopt a baby. Deep in his soul he must know that the spirit of Zob has possessed another mortal form. Rather than risking another tragic encounter between Zob and the AntiZob, Drofmot has chosen to rear the latest incarnation of Zob himself. As long as they are together, the AntiZob will be powerless.
It is the news I have waited my whole life to hear. The end of the Marc Jacobs era is near, and the reign of ugliness is almost over.