Auntie Fashion

Mac the Moose

Auntie Fashion had another one of her cryptic dreams.

In this one I was visited by the spirit of Zob who told me “If you build it, they will come.”  Soon I found myself staring upward at the biggest moose I had ever seen.  For a few seconds I couldn’t decide if I had stumbled into the world of David Lynch, or into one of Tim Burton’s films.  I was puzzled.

A moment later I was bathed in the glow of a spotlight, and the first few bars of Karen Young’s Hot Shot began to play.  Then a seemingly endless runway appeared before me and I looked down to realize that I was wearing Christian Dior Couture.  Naturally, I did what any reasonable woman in my present position would do: I got busy.

I sashayed and chantéd like the supermodel I was born to be.  I twirled and aswirled so hard that the crowd got dizzy.  And I wasn’t just throwing shade.  I was giving everyone what they wanted: More of me.

Soon the audience began clapping and cheering, and I had to stop because the catwalk had become littered with red roses, hundred-dollar bills, Cartier boxes and panties.  Then my alarm went off.

If I wasn’t the most fabulous woman on the face of the earth I probably would have asked myself “What does it all mean?”, but I already knew.  Auntie Fashion needs to start her own “fashion week” to celebrate her beauty, benevolence, and many contributions to gorgeousness.

Since Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, is the only city in the world that doesn’t currently have a fashion week, it’s the logical choice — I can’t imagine why else that giant moose would have been in my dream.

Anyway, mark your calendar, because Moose Jaw Fashion Week is going to make a trip to Paris look as glamorous as a trip to Paris Hilton’s podiatrist.  See you in 2012!  I have to clear a few things on my calendar first.