To all those fallen supermodels . . .
Greg’s Bracelet
Earlier this morning I received an email from my friend Greg. It appears that he’s designed this fabulous new bracelet to help raise awareness for an issue that is near and dear to my heart: Fallen supermodels.
SInce I’m all about caring and sharing, I’ve decided to help Greg in his quest to promote ankle safety. According to The Cut, too many supermodels are falling head over heels on the catwalks of the world, and both Greg and I agree that the designers of the world need to stop putting helpless models in danger. Sure, a girl who is five-foot-eleven and a hundred-and-fifteen pounds doesn’t really fall too hard, but that’s beside the point. What about her feelings? WHAT ABOUT HER FEELINGS?
I may be preternaturally gorgeous and virtually superhuman, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to crawl into a hole and die if I fell on my ass in front of a crowd of onlookers and photographers. Frankly, I’d probably be scarred for life if it happened to me. Fortunately, I have an adequate therapist who would be able to help me if I was ever put in such a difficult situation.
Many supermodels, on the other hand, have limited resources and an insufficient support network. By offering Greg’s Bracelet for sale, the two of use will be able to create a fund that these poor creatures may be able access in the event that they take a tumble on the runway.
To order Greg’s Bracelet, contact me via the comments section above. Each handcrafted bracelet sells for the low, low price of $19.99. Orders of 500 or more receive free shipping.
Show the models how much you care. Show them that they’re more than just clothes hangers. With your help, we can put an end to sprained ankles and gutwrenching humiliation.
