Auntie Fashion

Brooke Shields

Happy birthday, Brooke Shields.  I got you something from Proenza Schouler.  It’s a subpoena . . .

Adrienne Butikofer

Okay, that’s not really Adrienne Butikofer, nor is the girl in the photo wearing an Adrienne Butikofer design.  But it is the dress that Adrienne wore to celebrate Wear a Gown to Work Day.  It’s no wonder that they call this girl “The Pride of Winnipeg.”

Adrienne also has posted some great photos of her new baby, Loenne, on her blog.  Of course, the little glamourpuss is wearing a gown, too.  Like mother, like daughter . . .

I did receive a very disheartening message from FASHION Magazine’s Jennifer Campbell.  It seems as if Jennifer doesn’t even own a gown.  That gives me an idea for a new layout in FASHION starring Jennifer and the upcoming couture collections.  I’m going to pitch it to Ceri Marsh.  Who needs Liisa Winkler, anyway?

Cover: March 1988

Context: Transvestite superstar Divine dies in his sleep on March 7.  On March 16, Oliver North and John Poindexter are indicted on charges of conspiracy to defraud the US as part of the Iran-Contra Affair.  “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley spends two weeks at the top of the Billboard Hot 100.  Citing an up-and-coming Tracy Chapman as her inspiration, Ceri Marsh trades in her hair-metal look for an acoustic, folk-rock style complete with a buzz cut and Birkenstocks.

Points of Interest: Calvin Klein, designer of the blouse on the model, was rather unfashionable at this time.  In between the designer jeans frenzy of the early 80s and the Marky Mark underwear madness of the early 90s, the Calvin Klein company was on the verge of financial collapse.

What Tyra Would Say: “A fierce face like yours can get away with an extreme look, so that’s why we’re cutting off your hair and sewing it onto Becky’s head.”

What Auntie Fashion Says: It’s interesting to note that gigantic earrings capable of acting as satellite transceivers for covert communist agents posing as supermodels went out of style just about the same time as the Berlin Wall came down.

Grade: B.

Wynonna Judd

Happy birthday, Wynonna Judd.  I just read this article about your struggle with weight-loss.  Instead of blaming yourself for your emotional issues, you should probably blame your sister, Ashley.  She’s an Aries, and they’re usually to blame for everything.

Gaultier Couture

. . . and I couldn’t be more disappointed.  The very first person who I saw working this morning was the crazy broad who delivers my newspaper while simultaneously playing the air guitar and shaking her head up and down — and she wasn’t wearing a gown!

Oh well!  I need to get over it.  Wear a Gown to Work Day isn’t for everyone, and I need to accept the fact that some people don’t want glamour in their lives.  They’d rather show up to work in Casual Friday duds, like cargo shorts they bought at Costco in between the produce section and the plumbing supplies.  To each their own!

But I’m not going to let this day pass me by!  You shouldn’t either.  Life doesn’t afford most of us enough opportunities to be glamorous.  So, as the ancient Romans used to say, “Carpe gown.”

Jaslene Gonzalez

Happy birthday, Jaslene Gonzalez.  I remember how excited I was when I booked my first Latina cover . . .

Christian Lacroix Couture

First, the bad news.  WWD is reporting that Christian Lacroix is on the verge of filing for bankruptcy.

And now the good news.  A couple of days ago, I mentioned that I would be wearing Christian Lacroix Couture to celebrate the first-ever Wear a Gown to Work Day on May 29.  Hopefully, my glowing endorsement of the label will be enough to pull it back from the brink.  Yes, my influence in the world of fashion is that powerful.

Speaking of powerful women, I suppose that the girls in the office at FASHION Magazine will be working it out tomorrow in their fabulous frocks.  It’s customary for the FASHION staff to raid the sample closet every Friday afternoon.  The girls dress up in designer duds to share a box of wine, a bucket of chicken and make a few prank phone calls to the Elle Canada office.  You could say that every Friday is Wear a Gown to Work Day at FASHION.

But don’t fret if your world isn’t that fabulous.  Tomorrow is the day to reclaim your glamour.  Show the world that you care.  Wear a gown to work!

Kylie Minogue

Happy birthday, Kylie Minogue.  I have to admit that I didn’t warm up to you until I discovered that you share your birthday with my cat, Buttercup.  I’d wish her a happy birthday, too, but it would be pointless because she doesn’t spend a lot of time online.

Heather

Canada’s Next Top Model premiered last night with an episode that promised great things to come.

Of course, the highlight of the evening was when early frontrunner Heather tripped over her own feet on her way to pick up her photo after Jay Manuel called her name.  I know it’s cruel, but there’s something about laughing at the misfortune of reality show contestants that’s so utterly satisfying — I couldn’t help myself!

The show had other great moments, including the voluntary exit of Alexandra due to a pre-existing injury and the elimination of Tiffany due to a lousy photo shoot.  Thank Zob for Jeanne Beker who questioned whether or not it was wise to keep a single mother in her twenties in the competition when there were younger, taller, more-photogenic girls still around.  Tyra would have made Tiffany a semi-finalist just so we could watch her cry about how much she missed her baby in the confessionals!  And with two girls gone in the first episode, I suppose there won’t be a surprise double-elimination sometime in the future.

My early favorite, Maryam, got the first callout.  Impressive!  Between that and my endorsement, I suppose that she’s cursed now.  I was also impressed by Heather, Meaghan, Rebeccah, Linsay and Nikita.  Ebonie and Jill aren’t doing it for me, and I’m still on the fence with Tara.  Maybe she just needs a makeover.

Anyway, check out the official site to see the results of the first photo shoot, and let me know who you’re rooting for in the comments section.

Photo Credit: James Lourenço

Siouxsie Sioux

Happy birthday, Siouxsie Sioux.  I’m happy to see that many of the teenagers who take the same bus as me are keeping your 80s style alive.  It’s nice to see kids dressing like kids again.