Archive for the ‘Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012’ Category
Susie Sheffman: Reading Between the Lines
Although I haven’t received an official endorsement of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 from FASHION Magazine’s Susie Sheffman, I’ll take this recent project of hers as nod of approval from the fashion director.
I hope to see Susie dressed just as glamorously when she visits Canada’s Glamour Capital for the first time. Although I don’t believe that we’ll be indulging in a lot of hunting or fishing during the event, I suppose it’s a good idea to be prepared. I’d think twice about wearing Marc by Marc Jacobs, though. Bears can smell garbage from miles away.
Sticks and Stones
Controversy has erupted over this hilarious billboard that Molson Coors has pulled from BC after receiving complaints (click the link above to read the whole story from the Vancouver Sun).
I’ve never found the residents of Toronto to be particularly warm, but on the other hand I can say the same thing about metro Vancouver, where some of these billboards were located. It’s not the friendliest place in Canada, either.
That distinction most definitely belongs to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Unfortunately, there’s no room to paint that particular slogan on the signs leading into Moose Jaw because it’s already been named “Canada’s Glamour Capital.” I suppose they’re already building colossal new signs to greet visitors in anticipation of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012.
Hey, that gives me an idea for a new Coors Light billboard. What if one of them read “Colder than Rita Silvan’s icy stare at the back of Ceri Marsh’s well-coiffed head as she takes her seat one row behind her nemesis at the opening night of Moose Jaw Fashion Week”?
Maybe they’ll need two billboards . . .
Why Moose Jaw is the New Paris
My boyfriend Mike Rosenthal told me that he thought he heard Tyra Banks say that “Moose Jaw is the new Paris.” I already had an inkling that this would be true by the time that Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 arrived, but now I’m even more confident in the veracity of the statement.
Christian Audigier is going to show in Paris! There goes the neighborhood . . .
Good News and Bad News
First, the good news. The Ontario Public Service Employees Union has temporarily averted a strike by it’s Liquor Control Board of Ontario workers, delaying a walkout until either a settlement has been reached or one of the parties walks away from the bargaining table.
That’s great news! If Toronto is going to stink like garbage all summer long, I’d like to be drunk while it happens!
Actually, I’m not going to be in Toronto much this summer. I hope to be spending most of my free time in Moose Jaw, where I’ll be on a fact-finding mission/location-scouting trip with Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 muse Marjie Withajay.
Speaking of Marjie, last week I got a surprise visit from her sister, the one and only Tatie-Pie Susko, wife of legendary west coast donut magnate Rojando. Tatie-Pie had abandoned her children for a few days, leaving little Éclair, Bismarck and Timbit in the somewhat capable hands of their Auntie Marjie. Sadly, she informed me that Mother Withajay is in very poor health. That’s the bad news.
I suppose that my mission to Moose Jaw might be jeopardized as a result of this tragedy, but I have plenty of time to visit Canada’s Glamour Capital. Hopefully, the booze will be flowing freely in Moose Jaw. I know their economy is still booming, and the garbage men are still picking up the trash. No offense, Toronto, but the more I think about it, the more glamorous it sounds. Maybe I should be thinking about moving instead.
Hmmm . . .
Surprisingly Unexpected!
Moose Jaw’s City Council has been busy! They’ve recently rebranded the Saskatchewan megalopolis in an attempt to draw more visitors to what was formerly known as “The Friendly City.” The new catchphrase is “Surprisingly Unexpected!“
While I do have to admit that I like the antler/exclamation point logo, I also have to ask why the councillors were compelled to hire an advertising agency to rebrand a city that I’ve already rebranded for them?
Haven’t they heard that Moose Jaw has been named ”Canada’s Glamour Capital,” and that “Self-Portrait with Moose Antlers” by Danielle Meder has been selected as the official logo of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012? These things are on the tip of the tongue of every fashionista worth her weight in Louboutins, so why isn’t the City Council of Moose Jaw talking about them?
I suppose that my nemesis Marc Jacobs has already got to them. I can’t think of anything else that could explain why there’s someone named “Regina” on council (suspicious, huh?), or why mystery Councillor Brian Swanson has no profile on the City of Moose Jaw homepage. Are they working to thwart what promises to be the most glamorous single event in the history of civilization?
Fortunately, I’ve already planned a fact-finding mission to Moose Jaw this summer with Moose Jaw Fashion Week muse Marjie Withajay. I swear, as Zob is my witness, we’re going to get to the bottom of this!
How I spent my summer vacation . . .
Moose Jaw Fashion Week muse Marjie Withajay dropped over to my house for a few minutes last night. She was in town to see some friends and to visit her favorite hair salon before flying back to the west coast where she toils away like a modern-day Cinderella in the scullery of her evil sister, Tatie-Pie Susko.
While we were watching Project Runway Canada, I had a great idea. I proposed that the two of us could travel to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan on a location-scouting trip for Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012. Marjie was delighted by the idea and began planning our junket almost immediately. She’s such an eager beaver!
I really do need to do a little more research on Canada’s Glamour Capital, and there’s no better way to do that than to visit the city itself. We’re planning to go sometime in July or August (when the mosquitos are the size of pterodactyls), and I’ll be sure to take a zillion photos of our vacation. I also plan to interview several locals to ask them how being a part of the world’s most-prestigious fashion event will change their exceptionally dull, glamour-deprived lives.
They say that there’s already so much buzz in the air about MJFW that you can hear it from outer space. Or maybe that’s just the mosquitos . . .
Motorhome of Style
About four years ago, my friend’s daughter was obsessed with Hilary Duff. One day I mentioned to him that I thought that the young starlet made a poor role model to a twelve-year-old girl because she wore as much makeup as a forty-something porn star who was trying to look twenty again. My friend really didn’t understand my concern. C’est la vie.
Since that time, the aforementioned daughter has started to dress in a style that appears to emulate Avril Lavigne rather than Hilary Duff. I couldn’t be more pleased! Lavigne might wear a lot of makeup, too, but she wears makeup that makes her look like a kid who is having fun with fashion. It’s rebellious and ridiculous and I love it.
For that reason, I’ve decided to invite Avril Lavigne onto the Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style. Avril, darling, you’ve influenced a generation of young girls to dress like young girls instead of old sluts, and for that I’m eternally grateful. This prestigious award not only includes a front row seat at Moose Jaw Fashion Week but also my love and adoration. That alone is worth Hilary Duff’s weight in Grammy Awards, don’t you think?
A new sponsor?
Yesterday I noticed that one of the sponsors of L’Oréal Fashionweek is an organization called Motor Home Travel Canada Inc. Since I’ve named Canada’s most prestigious style award the Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style, I imagine that should probably secure some sort of sponsorship deal with this company. Perhaps I could convince Ceri Marsh to reconsider attending Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 if I promised to put her up in one of their deluxe motorcoaches. It’s either that or a room at the Travelodge, which hasn’t exactly been getting stellar reviews. I’ll just book all twenty-eight rooms at the motel for the cast and crew of Fashion Television. It’s not like they’ve been doing your old Auntie any favors. Jeanne Beker will be so pissed when she discovers there’s no room service. Ha!
Motorhome of Style
If Linda Evangelista is Canada’s most-memorable hair icon, CTV’s Sandie Rinaldo is a close second. I don’t believe there’s anyone else in this country who has a better relationship with her stylist. I assume that she’s been using the same person for a long time; you just don’t get such great cuts walking into the Clip ‘n’ Curl. You also don’t get such seamless transitions from one style to the next — her hair never seems to suffer from growing pains.
But styling aside, it takes a very stylish woman to constantly impress someone as stylish and fabulous as me, and for that reason I’m inviting Sandie to ride on the Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style.
Congratulations, Sandie. This honor is like a Pulitzer Prize and an Emmy Award rolled into one. It’s so prestigious, I’ve only awarded it to three other women so far. With your win, you’ll be sure to get a plum position when Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 finally arrives. Maybe I’ll let you sit next to Anna Wintour. Don’t be afraid to give her a few tips about changing her look. I’ve heard that she likes it when people give her unsolicited advice.
Motorhome of Style
What is it about women who were born on August 16th? Madonna? Angela Basset? Rosey Edeh? There has to be something in the stars that makes them into hot, wiry hardbodies. I need discuss this with my astrologer friend, Greg.
Anyway, I have to admit that I didn’t really know much about Rosey Edeh until recently. I caught a glimpse of her in a figure-hugging tank dress during the Olympic coverage, and then I Googled her bio. Wow! It’s quite likely that I had watched her compete in previous Olympic years, but I hadn’t put two-and-two together. She’s that Rosey Edeh!
I don’t get to see her hosting Entertainment Tonight Canada very often (it’s on at the time that I like to go to the gym), but I had noticed that Edeh was very talented at dressing her forty-two-year-old figure. On the Global site she succinctly describes her sense of style as “slick and sexy.” That’s about it. She really seems to know herself, and it’s rare to see her in anything that doesn’t present her in a favorable light.
For that reason, I’m inviting Rosey onto Auntie Fashion’s Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style. Step up to the podium, Rosey, because you’re about to receive an award that’s more prestigious than an Olympic gold medal. This honor won’t help you to get your face onto a box of Wheaties, but now you’re far more likely to be invited to walk the runway for Lanvin or to be asked to become the next face of Estee Lauder. Yes, my influence is that powerful. Take this opportunity to bask in my glow. You’ve earned it, beautiful!
