Moose Jaw Fashion Week RSVP Update
Although I haven’t had a chance to compose a formal invitation to Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 yet, I haven’t received any flat-out refusals to attended, either. Well, that’s not exactly true! There was that one snub . . .
Anyway, here’s a incomplete list of who may be attending, followed by a list of who will not be attending.
May Be Attending:
Anna Wintour; Carine Roitfeld; Tom Ford; Jean Paul Gaultier; Karl Lagerfeld; Lucinda McRuvy; Cathy Horyn; Jeanne Beker; Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt; Madonna; Sarah Mower; Tim Blanks; Linda Evangelista; Donatella Versace; Tomas Maier; Godfrey Deeny; Joe Zee; Nina Garcia; Tim Gunn; Heidi Klum and Seal; Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony; Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale; Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler; Tyra Banks; Glenda Bailey; Linda Wells; Hilary Alexander; Danielle Meder; Carolyn Rohaly; Stacey McKenzie; Suzy Menkes; Betsey Johnson; Donna Karan; Ralph Lauren; Christy Turlington; Liya Kedebe; Hilary Rhoda; Tyson Beckford; Bono; Carla Bruni-Sarkozy; John Galliano; Bill and Hilary Clinton; Queen Elizabeth II; Michael Kors; Claudia Schiffer; RuPaul Charles; Isabel Slone; Regis Philbin; Rita Silvan; David Bowie and Iman; Marjie Withajay; Barbara Walters; David and Victoria Beckham.
Will Not Be Attending:
Ceri Marsh
Isabel
Congratulations, Isabel Slone. You have been invited to ride Auntie Fashion’s Motorhome of Style. Along with this prestigious accolade, I have also linked your blog to my blog. If you’re still so stylish when Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 finally arrives, I’ll let you sit in the gallery.
Now don’t take this honor lightly. I know people who would kill just to be considered for such a coveted award, including Ceri Marsh. I’d hate to be an intern at FASHION Magazine tomorrow!
Auntie Fashion’s Motorhome of Style
Marjie, my Moose Jaw Fashion Week correspondent, sent me a few photos that she had taken on her last visit to her home town. Among the pictures was this image of a Winnebago parked in front of a gas station.
That got me thinking. If Mary Murphy can have a Hot Tamale Train on So You Think You Can Dance, why can’t Auntie Fashion have a Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style?
To ride the Motorhome of Style, you’ll have to do something to impress me — and I’m not that easily pleased. My motorhome has been around the block a few times, and I’ve refused to pull over for people who are more fabulous than most of you. So if you want a lift, you’re going to have to do something besides just sticking out your thumb.
I’ll be announcing my first inductee in a day or two. Maybe it’s you. Probably not, though . . .
Meet Marjie
Yay! I finally found a Moose Jaw native who is willing to assist me as I endeavor to make Canada’s Glamour Capital live up to its name.
Meet Marjorie Withajay. Marjie, as her friends call her, is an aspiring glamour puss who couldn’t be a day over twenty-nine. She was forced to leave Moose Jaw to labor Cinderella-style as a scullery wench in the home of her sister, Tatie-Pie Susko.
Dazzled by the bright lights of the Town ‘n’ Country Mall during her last visit, Marjie dreams of a day when she can stop peeling potatoes long enough to return to Moose Jaw. To paraphrase the aspiring fashionista, her hunger for glamour is as insatiable as her sister’s hunger for carbohydrates.
Sneaking onto the computer late at night from the office of her brother-in-law, donut magnate Rojando, Marjie will risk life and limb in order to provide Auntie Fashion with an insider’s perspective of Moose Jaw as a I prepare to make Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 the most stylish event in the history of the world.
Let’s hope she doesn’t get caught! I like this girl. I’m getting a Jackie O vibe from the new photo she sent me. Sure, it might be Jackie O via Saan, but at least she’s trying. I’ve got four years to make her a star, anyhow!
My Fair Lady?
Rumor has it that this girl is from Moose Jaw. I’m currently negotiating with her people to make her my official correspondent for Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012. She’s sort of a diamond in the rough, so I feel like Professor Henry Higgins when he first gazed upon Eliza Doolittle.
Whatever the case, she’s perfect for the part. Those legs go on for days! I bet she’s at least 5′10″.
If you can stand the glamour!
Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is beginning to pick up some momentum. Despite being snubbed by FASHION magazine’s Ceri Marsh (don’t take it personally, Moose Jaw — she probably hates all of Saskatchewan), the wise and gorgeous Danielle Meder of finalfashion.ca has wisely chosen to side with Auntie Fashion rather than incur the wrath of Zob. She even went as far as creating this lovely illustration for me to use in the promotional packages for the event.
I have been doing a little research about Canada’s Glamour Capital in order to plan the festivities. Did you know that TV legend Art Linkletter was born in Moose Jaw? 2012 will also mark his 100th birthday. Perhaps I can get him to host a special backstage segment at the event called Models Say the Darndest Things.
Moose Jaw is also the home of the Town ‘n’ Country mall. I like that name — it’s classy. More people should use that abbreviated spelling of the word and, like Viktor ‘n’ Rolf. Amperands are sooooo five years ago. Anyway, that reminds me; I should invite them.
I’ve also chosen “Moose Jaw Fashion Week: If you can stand the glamour!” as the official slogan of the event. According to their website, the Moose Jaw Union Hospital has twenty psychiatric beds for those of you who won’t be able to stand the glamour.
By the way, I am still looking for a Moose Jaw correspondent to assist me in planning the event. Interested parties can apply via the comments section below.
Help Wanted
What is it about Canadian models? I was cruising through the Chanel Cruise collection on style.com this morning when I noticed at least five fabulous Canadian girls in the lineup.
It made me realize that I made a wise choice to call this country my home after the Marc Jacobs incident. Once I had accepted my new found mortality, I knew I needed to drink from the same fountain of gorgeousness that Linda Evangelista had been reared on — and the rest is history.
But now that I’ve been here a while I’m starting to see the influence that my presence has bestowed upon this vast nation. The people are getting better looking with each passing generation. Gunn, Alberta-native Julia Dunstall, for instance, would have been a youngster when I first moved to Canada, and look at her now! Just breathing the same air that I have respired makes people better looking. It’s uncanny!
For that reason, I’m a convinced that Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is going to be a success beyond my wildest dreams. Only I’m going to have to make an effort to get to Canada’s Glamour Capital in the near future. How can I expect to make Moose Jaw the epicenter of the fashion world when I haven’t even set foot in the city?
In the meantime, I would like to advertise for a Moose Jaw correspondent for my blog. I need someone to be my liaison while I plan the most prestigious fashion event of the 21st century. Any interested Moose Jaw natives can contact me via the comments section below. Only the insanely glamorous need apply.
Dear Mr. Gaultier
When I interviewed Ceri Marsh earlier this week, she claimed that she would choose a trip to Paris to meet Jean Paul Gaultier over a trip to Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012. I can’t understand how someone could choose between two such delicious options without hesitation. Perhaps Ceri doesn’t realize that Moose Jaw has just been named Canada’s Glamour Capital. Sure, I’m the one who named it that (just five minutes ago, to be exact), but that’s beside the point.
This incident made me realize that Moose Jaw Fashion Week needs a celebrity spokesperson — someone besides me, that is. My fame reaches far and wide, but I’ve got plenty of other things to do already. Of course, the first person to pop into my mind was Jean Paul Gaultier. Mr. Gaultier recently celebrated the thirtieth anniversary of his eponymous label. Splitting design duties between his ready-to-wear collection, a couture collection and Hermès ready-to-wear can’t really be all that time-consuming for someone with Mr. Gaultier’s talent. Considering his experience, he probably designs in his sleep. That dress in the photo is the stuff that dreams are made of, after all.
So I’m going to send out an invitation to him. Imagine having Jean Paul as the honorary chairman of Moose Jaw Fashion Week! I’m sure he’ll accept if he doesn’t already have a full schedule. I figure that Paris Fashion Week is going to be held at exactly the same time, but after thirty-some years of showing there, I can see how Mr. Gaultier would want to take a break. Too much of the same old, same old would get on my nerves, too. I’d be doing him a favor!
Stay tuned for more updates, if you can stand the glamour!
