Auntie Fashion

FASHION

Although I haven’t received an official endorsement of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 from FASHION Magazine’s Susie Sheffman, I’ll take this recent project of hers as nod of approval from the fashion director.

I hope to see Susie dressed just as glamorously when she visits Canada’s Glamour Capital for the first time.  Although I don’t believe that we’ll be indulging in a lot of hunting or fishing during the event, I suppose it’s a good idea to be prepared.  I’d think twice about wearing Marc by Marc Jacobs, though.  Bears can smell garbage from miles away.

LCBO

First, the good news.  The Ontario Public Service Employees Union has temporarily averted a strike by it’s Liquor Control Board of Ontario workers, delaying a walkout until either a settlement has been reached or one of the parties walks away from the bargaining table.

That’s great news!  If Toronto is going to stink like garbage all summer long, I’d like to be drunk while it happens!

Actually, I’m not going to be in Toronto much this summer.  I hope to be spending most of my free time in Moose Jaw, where I’ll be on a fact-finding mission/location-scouting trip with Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 muse Marjie Withajay.

Speaking of Marjie, last week I got a surprise visit from her sister, the one and only Tatie-Pie Susko, wife of legendary west coast donut magnate Rojando.  Tatie-Pie had abandoned her children for a few days, leaving little Éclair, Bismarck and Timbit in the somewhat capable hands of their Auntie Marjie.  Sadly, she informed me that Mother Withajay is in very poor health.  That’s the bad news.

I suppose that my mission to Moose Jaw might be jeopardized as a result of this tragedy, but I have plenty of time to visit Canada’s Glamour Capital.  Hopefully, the booze will be flowing freely in Moose Jaw.  I know their economy is still booming, and the garbage men are still picking up the trash.  No offense, Toronto, but the more I think about it, the more glamorous it sounds.  Maybe I should be thinking about moving instead.

Hmmm . . .

Moose Jaw

Moose Jaw’s City Council has been busy!  They’ve recently rebranded the Saskatchewan megalopolis in an attempt to draw more visitors to what was formerly known as “The Friendly City.”  The new catchphrase is “Surprisingly Unexpected!“

While I do have to admit that I like the antler/exclamation point logo, I also have to ask why the councillors were compelled to hire an advertising agency to rebrand a city that I’ve already rebranded for them?

Haven’t they heard that Moose Jaw has been named ”Canada’s Glamour Capital,” and that “Self-Portrait with Moose Antlers” by Danielle Meder has been selected as the official logo of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012?  These things are on the tip of the tongue of every fashionista worth her weight in Louboutins, so why isn’t the City Council of Moose Jaw talking about them?

I suppose that my nemesis Marc Jacobs has already got to them.  I can’t think of anything else that could explain why there’s someone named “Regina” on council (suspicious, huh?), or why mystery Councillor Brian Swanson has no profile on the City of Moose Jaw homepage.  Are they working to thwart what promises to be the most glamorous single event in the history of civilization?

Fortunately, I’ve already planned a fact-finding mission to Moose Jaw this summer with Moose Jaw Fashion Week muse Marjie Withajay.  I swear, as Zob is my witness, we’re going to get to the bottom of this!

Moose

Moose Jaw Fashion Week muse Marjie Withajay dropped over to my house for a few minutes last night.  She was in town to see some friends and to visit her favorite hair salon before flying back to the west coast where she toils away like a modern-day Cinderella in the scullery of her evil sister, Tatie-Pie Susko.

While we were watching Project Runway Canada, I had a great idea.  I proposed that the two of us could travel to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan on a location-scouting trip for Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012.  Marjie was delighted by the idea and began planning our junket almost immediately.  She’s such an eager beaver!

I really do need to do a little more research on Canada’s Glamour Capital, and there’s no better way to do that than to visit the city itself.  We’re planning to go sometime in July or August (when the mosquitos are the size of pterodactyls), and I’ll be sure to take a zillion photos of our vacation.  I also plan to interview several locals to ask them how being a part of the world’s most-prestigious fashion event will change their exceptionally dull, glamour-deprived lives.

They say that there’s already so much buzz in the air about MJFW that you can hear it from outer space.  Or maybe that’s just the mosquitos . . .

Lucinda McRuvy

The second most-glamorous woman in Canada, Lucinda McRuvy of Rags and Mags, has been abducted by the Fashion Mafia and taken to their secret headquarters in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.  Click the link above to read all about it.

While I don’t condone the actions of the Fashion Mafia and their reliance upon the fur industry to finance their operations, it’s nice to know that Lucinda is finally getting acquainted with Canada’s Glamour Capital.  Sure, there’s not a whole lot of glamour there yet, but I’ve got until 2012 to make it happen.  I just hope that those gangsters don’t think that they’re going to muscle in on my turf.  The only thing worse than organized crime is an organized crime against fashion, and I swear I saw Madam Rouge wearing a bustled, Marc Jacobs prairie skirt.  Someone call the police!

Jay Manuel

Jay Manuel was on In Fashion today making googly eyes at Glenn Baxter and teasing him about a big surprise that’s going to change the entire competition halfway through the season on the still-to-be-cast Canada’s Next Top Model Cycle 3.

I figure that a mid-season change can only mean one thing: An international destination!  New York?  London?  Milan?  Paris?

My money is on Moose Jaw.  Everyone is clamouring to get a piece of Canada’s Glamour Capital.  I have a feeling that Rita Silvan of Elle Canada will soon be leaving her cushy job to transfer to the Moose Jaw Times Herald.  They’re both owned by the same company, and it would be a wise move on Rita’s behalf since I’m already such good friends with Ceri Marsh and Lisa Tant.  Being the Times Herald fashion editor might get her into a few more parties when the big event finally arrives.

Moose Jaw Fashion Week Logo

Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is beginning to pick up some momentum. Despite being snubbed by FASHION magazine’s Ceri Marsh (don’t take it personally, Moose Jaw — she probably hates all of Saskatchewan), the wise and gorgeous Danielle Meder of finalfashion.ca has wisely chosen to side with Auntie Fashion rather than incur the wrath of Zob. She even went as far as creating this lovely illustration for me to use in the promotional packages for the event.

I have been doing a little research about Canada’s Glamour Capital in order to plan the festivities.  Did you know that TV legend Art Linkletter was born in Moose Jaw?  2012 will also mark his 100th birthday.  Perhaps I can get him to host a special backstage segment at the event called Models Say the Darndest Things.

Moose Jaw is also the home of the Town ‘n’ Country mall. I like that name — it’s classy. More people should use that abbreviated spelling of the word and, like Viktor ‘n’ Rolf.  Amperands are sooooo five years ago.  Anyway, that reminds me; I should invite them.

I’ve also chosen “Moose Jaw Fashion Week: If you can stand the glamour!” as the official slogan of the event. According to their website, the Moose Jaw Union Hospital has twenty psychiatric beds for those of you who won’t be able to stand the glamour.

By the way, I am still looking for a Moose Jaw correspondent to assist me in planning the event.  Interested parties can apply via the comments section below.

Julia Dunstall

What is it about Canadian models?  I was cruising through the Chanel Cruise collection on style.com this morning when I noticed at least five fabulous Canadian girls in the lineup.

It made me realize that I made a wise choice to call this country my home after the Marc Jacobs incident.  Once I had accepted my new found mortality, I knew I needed to drink from the same fountain of gorgeousness that Linda Evangelista had been reared on — and the rest is history.

But now that I’ve been here a while I’m starting to see the influence that my presence has bestowed upon this vast nation.  The people are getting better looking with each passing generation.  Gunn, Alberta-native Julia Dunstall, for instance, would have been a youngster when I first moved to Canada, and look at her now!  Just breathing the same air that I have respired makes people better looking.  It’s uncanny!

For that reason, I’m a convinced that Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is going to be a success beyond my wildest dreams.  Only I’m going to have to make an effort to get to Canada’s Glamour Capital in the near future.  How can I expect to make Moose Jaw the epicenter of the fashion world when I haven’t even set foot in the city?

In the meantime, I would like to advertise for a Moose Jaw correspondent for my blog.  I need someone to be my liaison while I plan the most prestigious fashion event of the 21st century.  Any interested Moose Jaw natives can contact me via the comments section below.  Only the insanely glamorous need apply.

Gaultier Couture

When I interviewed Ceri Marsh earlier this week, she claimed that she would choose a trip to Paris to meet Jean Paul Gaultier over a trip to Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012.  I can’t understand how someone could choose between two such delicious options without hesitation.  Perhaps Ceri doesn’t realize that Moose Jaw has just been named Canada’s Glamour Capital.  Sure, I’m the one who named it that (just five minutes ago, to be exact), but that’s beside the point.

This incident made me realize that Moose Jaw Fashion Week needs a celebrity spokesperson — someone besides me, that is.  My fame reaches far and wide, but I’ve got plenty of other things to do already.  Of course, the first person to pop into my mind was Jean Paul Gaultier.  Mr. Gaultier recently celebrated the thirtieth anniversary of his eponymous label.  Splitting design duties between his ready-to-wear collection, a couture collection and Hermès ready-to-wear can’t really be all that time-consuming for someone with Mr. Gaultier’s talent.  Considering his experience, he probably designs in his sleep.  That dress in the photo is the stuff that dreams are made of, after all.

So I’m going to send out an invitation to him.  Imagine having Jean Paul as the honorary chairman of Moose Jaw Fashion Week!  I’m sure he’ll accept if he doesn’t already have a full schedule.  I figure that Paris Fashion Week is going to be held at exactly the same time, but after thirty-some years of showing there, I can see how Mr. Gaultier would want to take a break.  Too much of the same old, same old would get on my nerves, too.  I’d be doing him a favor!

Stay tuned for more updates, if you can stand the glamour!