Auntie Fashion

Cover: April 1991

Context: Legendary choreographer Martha Graham dies on April 1.  Comedy Central launches the same day.  Thieves steal twenty paintings worth $500 million US from the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam on April 14.  Less than an hour later they are found in an abandoned car.  The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes above 3000 for the first time on April 17.  On April 27, gospel singer Amy Grant crosses over to the mainstream when “Baby Baby” reaches number one on the Billboard Hot 100.

Points of Interest: The model is wearing KL by Karl Lagerfeld.  The label was launched in 1984.  The brand name currently refers to licensing agreements reached prior to 1997.  Afterwards the designer would use the name Lagerfeld Gallery.  That name was sold to Tommy Hilfiger in 2005, and currently operates under the name Karl Lagerfeld with associated lines such as K and Lagerfeld.

What Tyra Would Say: “For this challenge, the girls were asked to style themselves on a budget of five bucks using only items purchased from Dollarama.  Here’s what Danielle came up with . . .”.

What Auntie Fashion Says: Back in the seventies you used to be able to get Rubbermaid non-slip stickers for your bathtub that looked just like the flower on the model’s hat.

Grade: D.

Cover: Winter 1991

Context: Madonna’s “Justify My Love” spends the first two weeks of the year in the number-one position on the Billboard Hot 100.  A masked Ceri Marsh is rumored to appear briefly in the accompanying video.  The US Congress passes a resolution on January 12 authorizing the use of military force to liberate Kuwait.  In what will become an iconic performance, Whitney Houston sings ”The Star-Spangled Banner” at the Super Bowl on January 27.  On February 5, a Michigan court bars Dr. Jack Kevorkian from assisting in suicides.

Points of Interest: Featured designer Christian Lacroix’s rise in prominence during this era emphasized the insurmountable gulf between mainstream fashion and street styles such as grunge and hip-hop.

What Tyra Would Say: “Alie sort of resembles Linda Evangelista, but Linda Evangelista wouldn’t have lost her neck in a photo.  A top model does this instead of this.  See the difference?”

Grade: B.

Cover: November 1990

Context: “Dances with Wolves“ premieres in theaters on November 21.  On November 27, Milli Vanilli admits to lip-synching its hits, ultimately leading to the revocation of their Grammy Award.  Margaret Thatcher resigns as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom on November 28, succeeded by John Major.  On November 29, the UN Security Council authorizes military intervention in Iraq if the nation does not withdraw its armed forces from Kuwait.

Points of Interest: According to the Fashion Model Directory, this was Shalom Harlow’s first cover.  The site also lists her hobbies as astronomy, scuba diving and tap dancing.  Take that, Coco Rocha!

What Tyra Would Say: “Just between you judges and me, I think I’m going to eliminate Shalom fifth in the competition for “resting on pretty”, just to shock the fans.  Y’all know that’s how I like to roll.”

What Auntie Fashion Says: “Flare” wouldn’t feature the soon-to-be supermodel on its cover until February 1991.  Score!

Grade: A+.

Cover: September 1990

Context: Celine Dion makes her English language debut with the release of “Unison” on September 11.  On the same day, US President George H. W. Bush delivers a televised ultimatum instructing Iraq to remove its soldiers from Kuwait.  On September 18, the IOC awards the 1996 Summer Olympic Games to Atlanta, Georgia.  Legendary film choreographer and Fred Astaire’s collaborator Hermes Pan dies on September 19.

Points of Interest: “Twin Peaks” was a cultural juggernaut at this time, launching the careers of several stars and creating the sort of buzz that most Hollywood producers can only dream of.

What Tyra Would Say: “Cara has a gorgeous, girl-next-door look, but to be a Top Model you need to have an high-fashion edge.  That’s why we’re giving her icy blondes extensions down to there and bleaching her eyebrows until they virtually melt away.  Fierce!”

What Auntie Fashion Says: As the designer featured on the cover — Michael Kors – would say, that outfit is so freakin’ chic, I can’t stand it.

Grade: A+.

Cover: Summer 1990

Context: Legendary entertainer Sammy Davis Jr. dies on May 16.  Microsoft releases Windows 3.0 on May 22.  On May 24, the Edmonton Oilers win their fifth Stanley Cup.  Iraq invades Kuwait on August 2, eventually leading to the Gulf War.  Mariah Carey’s debut single, “Vision of Love,” spends the entire month of August atop the Billboard Hot 100.

Points of Interest: From 1990-1994, FASHION’s “Summer” issue would include the months of May, June, July and August.

What Tyra Would Say: “Due to budget cuts, the top six girls were driven to this cycle’s international destination, Tijuana, Mexico.  Here’s Christine’s best shot, just after she had won this week’s challenge for booking the most jobs with various gentleman who may or may not have had something to do with the fashion industry.”

What Auntie Fashion Says: For the second time in a row, the model’s face is lost in the long shot.  While it appears as if editorial consistency has returned to the magazine, there’s is a distinct lack of finesse at the helm of FASHION at this time.

Grade: D+.

Michelle Trachtenberg

Happy birthday, Michelle Trachtenberg.  I couldn’t imagine a more glamorous FASHION cover model than you.  Oh wait — there’s Shakira on the October issue and she’s wearing no pants!

Cover: April 1990

Context: On April 6, photographer Robert Mapplethorpe’s exhibit “The Perfect Moment” grabs international headlines as protesters fail to force the cancellation of the show.  ”Twilight“ star Kristen Stewart is born in Los Angeles on April 9.  Film legend Greta Garbo dies on April 15.  The Hubble Space Telescope is launched aboard the Space Shuttle Discovery on April 20.  On April 24, West Germany and East Germany agree to merge currencies as of July 1.

Points of Interest: Headed up by businessman Bernard Arnault and newly-appointed designer Gianfranco Ferré, Christian Dior S.A. was buying up old licenses at this time in an attempt to control the integrity of the brand.

What Tyra Would Say: “What the other judges don’t know is that you weren’t standing in front of a wind machine, but rather hanging from wires attached to the ceiling, and we inverted this shot in editing in order to make you look as if you were standing in front of a wind machine.  Does that make sense?”

What Auntie Fashion Says: Where is the model’s face?  This is why you don’t shoot outdoors on sunny days.

Grade: C-.

Fashion Magazine

I’m certainly not the first blogger to write about United Bamboo’s 2010 calender, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t include this photo on my blog.

It makes me dream of a day when Tyra Banks runs out of gimmicks on “America’s Next Top Model” and turns to an all-cat cycle to boost ratings.  I can just hear her now: “Mittens started out so strongly in the competition, but I’m afraid that she’s just resting on scratchy now.”

Cover: March 1990

Context: Mikhail Gorbachev is elected Executive President of the Soviet Union on March 15.  On March 18, thieves disguised as police officers rob the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum in Boston in the biggest property theft in history.  The art valued at $500 million today has not yet been recovered.  Princess Eugenie of York is born in London on March 23.  “Driving Miss Daisy” wins the Oscar for Best Picture on March 26.  Global style icon Ceri Marsh stops talking to Madonna after it becomes apparent that the pop star has stolen her look-of-the-moment for the “Vogue” video.

Points of Interest: Cover model Cecilia Aasboe was regularly called first when her teacher took attendance in alphabetical order during elementary school.

What Tyra Would Say: “In this photo, Cecilia was giving me ‘smierce,’ which is smile with her eyes that is also fierce.  Unfortunately, she was also giving me ‘smouth,’ which is a smile with her mouth that negates the postivity of the ’smierce.’  When you do the math, it ends up being a whole lot of ‘smothing,” which is smiling for nothing because, umm — what was I talking about?”

What Auntie Fashion Says: “Springtime in Tuscany” sounds nice, but it’s no “March in Moose Jaw.”

Grade: B.

FASHION

Although I haven’t received an official endorsement of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 from FASHION Magazine’s Susie Sheffman, I’ll take this recent project of hers as nod of approval from the fashion director.

I hope to see Susie dressed just as glamorously when she visits Canada’s Glamour Capital for the first time.  Although I don’t believe that we’ll be indulging in a lot of hunting or fishing during the event, I suppose it’s a good idea to be prepared.  I’d think twice about wearing Marc by Marc Jacobs, though.  Bears can smell garbage from miles away.