Auntie Fashion

Eva Marcille

Eva Marcille, winner of Cycle 3 of “America’s Next Top Model” is the new host of Oxygen’s “Hair Battle Spectacular.”  The last time I wrote about Eva was when she was on my other favorite television show, “The Young and the Restless.”  Despite an auspicious debut, her character, ”Tyra,” was written out of the show not long after she arrived in glamorous Genoa City.

Anyway, I’m thrilled for Eva.  She’s just another ANTM alumnus who has been able to carve out a niche in show business post-Tyra Banks.  While it’s taken a few years for many of the show’s winners to get the ball rolling, eventually they’ve gained enough momentum to find their way back into the public eye.  Yeah, they might not be “Top Models,” but they’re probably having a lot more fun than the vicious snakes who spit their venom at anyone they can via online forums such as Reality TV Games.

Now if only my beloved Furonda would get her own show . . .

Furonda

Wow!

Just this morning I discovered ANTM 411 on WordPress.  It’s a site that answers the question “Where are the models of ANTM now?”  So instead of Googling “Furonda” and having to dig through piles of crap to find a nugget of gold (like the photo I posted above), you can simply click on a link in the sidebar.  The models’ names are listed first by cycle and then in elimination order.  It makes it all so easy.

I’m going to be visiting this site often.  It’s going to take a long time to get through the amount of information that’s already been compiled, and the author Modelscribe has a talent for digging up hidden gems, like my fabulous photo with CariDee where I got her to reenact her final two hug with Smellrose.

I’ve also added it to my blogroll on the right.  Go ahead — click it.  Tell ‘em Auntie Fashion sent ya!

Sundai

Much to my surprise, Sundai was sent home on last night’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model.”

In a previous post, I compared her to Furonda, who also was eliminated from the show in fifth place.  However, the two girls were polar opposites.  Furonda was a photogenic girl who possessed all the skills necessary to win ANTM, except that she looked nothing like a model in person.  Sundai may have been the most telegenic girl in the competition, but she was also the least photogenic girl of the season.  Her portfolio was terrible.

For some reason, though, I thought that she was headed for the final two.  Previous horrible winners such as Tootie and Whitney skated on thin ice with horrible portfolios for the entire competition, so why not Sundai?

Anyway, I’m quite pleased with the final four.  My favorite, Laura, is still around, and I’ve become quite a fan of Nicole.  I could deal with Erin making it to the final two because she’s got the skills and a competitive spirit, and I actually liked Jennifer’s CoverGirl commercial enough to accept her as a finalist without reservation.

Dear Zob in heaven, is it true?  Has Tyra actually assembled a credible top four?

What do you think of this season’s finalists?

Celia

. . . I’ll oldly fly away.

Too-Old Celia flew the coop on last night’s episode of America’s Next Top Model.  We all knew it was coming; it was just a matter of time.

I really liked Celia.  In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that she now shares a place in my busom with Furonda as one of my favorite contestants of all time.  Thankfully, I’ve got an ample busom where I can give each of the models the space they deserve.

There’s nothing I like on ANTM more than a contestant who wants to win and doesn’t make any excuses as she earns herself a position near the top.  I knew that Celia would never win ANTM – just like I knew that Furonda wouldn’t win – but it was so satisfying rooting for the underdog when she actually gave me something to root for.  Her campaign to get that whiny Tahlia out of the house made for one of the most exciting eliminations of all time.  In twelve seasons, I’ve only seen two more dramatic events at panel: Rebecca’s fainting spell and Tyra’s tirade toward Tiffany.

Still, I was even more enchanted by her competitive spirit and her awareness that she was partaking in a once-in-a-lifetime experience.  Celia took nothing for granted along the way and exited the show with the knowledge that she had been part of something special.

I guess that’s what grown-ups do.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen one on this show, I’d forgotten what to expect.

Natalie

. . . the girl from Palos Verdes went walking . . .

Unmemorable Natalie was the latest contestant to be shown the door on America’s Next Top Model.  I’m glad that I gave her the name “Unmemorable” after the first episode because I really didn’t remember much about her portfolio until they showed it at the end of the episode.  Wow!  She really was dull.

Of course I loved her on the runway.  Who doesn’t love a model that can Aswirl?  I liked her in the house, too.  She was sort of snobby and rubbed a few other girls the wrong way.  Anyone who brings some tension to the Top Model house is okay with me.  It’s a shame that she couldn’t bring that same tension to her photos, right Tyra?

On that topic, what the hell is up with Too-Ghetto Aminat?  I called her that because of her voice.  I just knew it would become an issue with the judges because it always does.  But the real problem with this girl is her absolute lack of modeling skills in front of the camera.  She’s a lame duck in so many ways, including the manner in which she tends to purse her gorgeous lips during photoshoots so they look like a duck’s bill.

Aminat might be the most beautiful girl to stand in front of the judging panel in the history of this show.  It’s getting frustrating to see her taking such terrible photos week after week and then making faces while she’s being judged that could carry a cosmetic campaign.  Meanwhile, Unlikely Allison is stumbling into great shots on weekly basis.

I suppose that Aminat and Too-Old Celia could visit one of those back-alley plastic surgeons that Brazil is famous for and get Celia’s brain transplanted into Aminat’s body.  Celia’s skills are admirable, but she probably won’t grow into her looks until she reaches her thirties.  It’s too bad, too — she might be my favorite contestant since Joanie and Furonda vied for my affections in Cycle 6.

Oh, Furonda!  Why can’t they cast a dozen girls who are just like you?

Earlier today, I had to help my little friend Caycee through a crisis of faith.  It seems that he was concerned about the origin of the word “Zob” and its implications on his own spiritual journey.

After that was resolved, Caycee showed me this photo composition he had crafted to demonstrate the metamorphic qualities of ANTM contestant Joslyn’s nose.

Whatever is making Joslyn’s nose look so much better in photographs than it appears on video, I don’t really care too much about it.  It could be Photoshop, conturing, lighting — it doesn’t really matter to me just as long as she’s delivering decent photos.

In a previous post, I mentioned that she’s this season’s Furonda.  Joslyn is funny, charming, and a decent model.  That’s good enough for Zob, and it’s good enough for me.

Samantha

Last week I went ahead and chose Samantha as my favorite contestant on America’s Next Top Model.  I’m glad I did.  The girl got the best makeover of the bunch, and she’s proving to be quite comfortable in front of the camera.  I also like the way her face fits together.  Her cheekbones suit her nose.  Her jawline suits her mouth.  Her eyebrows suit her eyes.  Never mind her gorgeous figure: Samantha is a gorgeous girl.

Now do I think she’ll win ANTM?  No, I’m not that naive.  She looks like a fitness model, or a commercial model, or a catalogue model — but not like a high-fashion model.  It’s not as if Tyra’s previous winners have gone on to rule the runways of the world, but cutting a girl for being “too commercial” seems to be a convenient excuse to get rid of someone like Samantha.  I can see it coming already.

The highlight of last night’s episode was the fact that half a dozen girls didn’t murder their impromptu CoverGirl commercial from the floor of a local Wal-Mart.  Some of them, including Samantha, seemed to have a genuine talent for delivering dialogue.  That’s a first!

Does that mean that we’re going to miss out on a commercial challenge later in the season?  I hope not.  I love the commercial challenges!  Watching Jade aswirling around a faaaaaaabulous party ranks highly in my best-ever ANTM moments.  Please, Tyra — tell me there’s going to be more.  I’m begging you!

In other news, Joslyn is taking great photos that don’t even look like her.  She’s this season’s Furonda, and you all know how much I loved Furonda.  I hope she sticks around, too.

Not Furonda

Actually, it’s a lovely girl named Nina Keita in a WWD spread.  But she does look like Furonda.  It makes me wonder what Furonda is doing nowadays.  She never calls.  She never writes . . .

I really, really need a Top Model fix.  I don’t know if I can wait until the premiere.  I might have to break down and watch Project Runway online before it debuts on regular Canadian TV.  I can’t click on a website lately without having every detail of the show spoiled, anyway.

A little Heidi Klum will probably be enough to keep me going until fall arrives.  Still, it’ll be like strolling to the methadone clinic when I’d rather ride the white horse all the way to Tyratown.

Now excuse me while I phone my sponsor.

Whitney & Dominique

I posted this photo from last week’s episode of America’s Next Top Model to prove a point: Dominique is pretty.

I’ll admit it: I’ve made the tranny jokes, too.  Still, trannies often make the best models.  The fierce background models in the Homeless photo shoot were transgendered.  The House of Ninja brought its fair share of gender non-specific models along to the posing challenge.  And then there’s Ms. Jay him/herself.  This show loves its trannies!

Now I don’t believe that Dominique is a man, nor do I believe that she ever has been a man.  She just has that je ne sais quois that trannies have.  When the camera is on her, she’s fabulosity personified.

I went through her portfolio this morning, just to have a look at her body of work, and I was surprised by how much I liked it.  In fact, except for Anya’s book, Dominique has the strongest photos of the remaining contestants.  What’s even more impressive is that she’s still trying hard to win ANTM while many of her competitors are falling apart.

I don’t believe that she’s pretty all of the time.  In many candid shots, I’m nearly blinded by her appearance.  But when it comes to the challenges, Dominique has earned her place in the top four on ANTM.  And just look how gorgeous she looks in the photo I posted.  Sure, it’s a little blurry, but she does have terrific bone structure, especially when her face is relaxed.

I’m not going to deny that she can look scary sometimes, but I’d rather see a hundred Dominiques in the house than one more Kimberley who doesn’t want to be there, or one more Lauren who can’t figure out what it takes to stay there.

I guess it goes to show you that beauty is a state of mind.  When the camera is on her, Dominique believes that she is beautiful.  Like Furonda before her, she’s starting to make a believer out of me, too.

Lauren

Oh, Lauren!  You just had to get sent home, didn’t you?  At least you got to say “Crap, crap, crap, CoverGirl!” before you left.  Maybelline owes you a favor now.  I’ll make a couple of calls and see what I can do.

I actually didn’t think Lauren was going home until Tyra handed Whitney her photo on last night’s episode of America’s Next Top Model.  For some strange reason, I kept thinking back to CariDee’s CoverGirl commercial in Spanish.  Lauren may have been awkward, but CariDee was downright scary — much like Dominique was in her commercial.

Holy Zob!  Could Dominique be the surprise winner?

I actually do like Dominique.  I laughed out loud when Gai Mattiolo said that she didn’t look “fresh.”  The girl has a lot of spirit, though, and she seems to try a lot harder than most of the contestants on this show (she’s this season’s Furonda).  And we all know that you can’t spell Tyra without t-r-y and an A for effort!  That’s one of the lessons I learned at T-Zone when I infiltrated the camp for a tell-all exposé.  The camp counsellors would chain us to our bunks and make us repeat that slogan over and over and over again before our dinner of cold celery broth and the week-old Olive Garden breadsticks they would find at the bottom of Tyra’s tote bag.

Anyway, Dominique gets an A from me.  It’ll go well with her X and Y chromosomes.  She can start a collection.