Auntie Fashion

Theda Bara

Sometimes I believe that fashion is wasted on the fashionable.  Most people just don’t care where the things they wear came from, just as long as someone else has deemed them to be stylish.  You could sew the name “Marc Jacobs” onto a dry cleaning bag and there would be some idiot willing to buy it.

I don’t believe that fashion is wasted on me.  For instance, a few years ago I was strolling through the Via Bellagio (in between the free Mai Tais and the nickel slots) and I walked into Fred Leighton.  The store was not busy at all and the clerks seemed eager to amuse themselves by telling me tales about where much of the jewelry came from.  I enquired about one exceptionally beautiful art deco necklace and I was told that it was originally owned by silent film star Theda Bara.

I’m sure that clerk could feel me vibrating in the presense of such greatness as she took it out of the case and let me hold it in my hands.  I was beside myself!  There I was, holding something that one of the greatest film stars of all time wore around her neck.

Now most people wouldn’t even have a clue who Theda Bara was, but not me.  I knew that the word “Vamp” was coined to describe her.  She was the third most popular actor of her time, and the biggest star at the Fox studios.  A 1937 fire destroyed most of her films, making her more like a thing of legend rather than a documented historical fact.  When I was younger, I would still hear other actors reminiscing about her scandalous costumes in interviews, often in reference to the Production Code of 1930 that banned such outfits.  She was cinema’s first bona fide sex symbol, and a woman whose conduct on film need to be curtailed!

And there I was, half drunk, at Fred Leighton in the Via Bellagio, holding her necklace in my hands while the clerk smiled sweetly because she knew how special that moment was to me.

If you ever get the chance to visit a Fred Leighton boutique, take the time to enjoy the collections but remember where you are.  Don’t waste the moment by coveting the diamonds.  Think about what it’s taken to amass such an amazing archive of estate and fine jewelry and pray that the new owners of the company (it was purchased earlier this month) will revere the history of the brand like the company’s founder did rather than trying to turn the name “Fred Leighton” into a fashionable brand.  The last thing the world needs is another stupid luxury label that has nothing to do with luxury.

Jennifer Campbell

Everyone knows that I adore FASHION Magazine and fashionmagazine.com; Im always blogging about one or the other.  But until this week, I didn’t realize just how talented FASHION’s online editor Jennifer Campbell is as a fashion critic.

She’s more than just a computer geek who doesn’t own a gown (inside joke), as proven by her online reviews of LG Fashion Week shows.  Check out her assessment of the recent Jason Myers presentation:

“Though this collection had its issues (inexpensive-looking fabrics, a ghastly print, shorts that cut into the model’s thighs and some fairly obvious nods to Jil Sander Fall 2009) it was a big step up from the satiny mess he showed for Spring 2009 — the last time he presented at Toronto Fashion Week.”

I haven’t read a sharper, more concise review of a fashion show all season.  I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Veronica Lake?

Danielle at Final Fashion got me thinking about a book called “Making Faces” by makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin.  I remember purchasing a copy as a gift for my friend Tatie-Pie Susko when it first came out in 1997.  As she flipped through the pages, she would show me a photo of celebrity who Aucoin had transformed into another celebrity, and then she would make me guess who I was looking at.

I remember getting stuck on this photo.  I knew it was supposed to be someone made up to look like 40s film star Veronica Lake, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out who it was.  Then came the big reveal: It was Martha Stewart!  My jaw hit the floor.

Kevyn Aucoin was a genius.  He knew the bones of a woman’s face like a great portrait photographer, and he had a knack for displaying his subjects in their best light.  Unfortunately, Aucoin died in 2001 from complications related to a rare pituitary tumor.  However, his books live on.  If you ever have the chance to pick them up, even if it’s just to look at the pictures, it will be time well spent.

Tom Ford

Check out this terrific interview with Tom Ford on the timesonline site.

My astrologer has called Ford “the archetypal Virgo.”  Hilariously, in the very first sentence of the feature, the reporter mentions that Ford “is very meticulous about everything.”  I guess that’s what I like about Virgos.  I’ve spent far too much of my life cleaning up after people who aren’t meticulous about anything.  They can call me “anal” all they want, because we all know who the real assholes are.

Anyway, Tom Ford just gets more wonderful every day.  His name has only diminished in importance in the eyes of fashion victims.  To the real fashionista, he’s still the real deal.  And he directs films.  And he eats donuts.  And he’s been inside a gym . . .

I have a letter that he wrote to me — I’ve written about it before.  I’m normally not the sentimental type, and I barely keep anything like that, but I kept this letter.  When I really want to impress someone, I’ll take it out.  The funny thing is that I don’t show it to just anyone.  You’ve really got to mean something to me if I’m going to let you touch my letter from Tom Ford.

I adore everything about him.  I can’t even imagine what he would have to do to change that.  Well, I guess he could marry Marc Jacobs, but until something that horrible happens, I’m just going to keep on worshipping the ground he walks on.

3 Feet High and Rising

Every generation has its Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, or Exile on Main St., or Never Mind the Bollocks, or Rumors, or Saturday Night Fever, or Thriller, etc.  There’s always a seminal record album that not only defines the mindset of the generation that produced it, but also the generation that purchased it.

I guess that I’m sort of an oddball because my seminal album only made it #24 on the Billboard charts, yet its influence on popular music is just as profound as any of the albums listed above.

I bought De La Soul’s “3 Feet High and Rising” about this time twenty years ago.  I had read a few glowing reviews of the album, so I trusted the critics enough to buy it without knowing exactly what I was getting into.  I couldn’t have been more pleased.

3 Feet High and Rising is the ultimate musical mash-up.  Nothing De La Soul and their genius producer Prince Paul were doing was new – rapping, sampling, recording a “high concept album” — but the sound was more original than anything I had ever heard in my life.  It didn’t just define my generation: It defined me.

Like many of the things I adore, it took a while for “3 Feet High and Rising” to receive its critical due.  As rap music began to chart routinely in the early 90s, many people discovered De La Soul after the fact.  Their follow-up album, 1991’s “De La Soul is Dead” was every bit as good musically, yet without the somewhat shocking novelty of the debut album.  As a result, it earned them some new North American fans, but it didn’t fare as well in Europe as their initial effort did.  Those weird Europeans actually took a few of the act’s singles to the top of the charts!

The strangest thing about De La Soul was the fact that their career peaked on the cusp of another seminal moment in music: The alternative era.  The acts that were described by that word, however, were actually the most popular acts of the time.  “3 Feet High and Rising” was the real alternative.  Freaky, funny and a little esoteric, there’s never been another album that reminds me more of me.  I couldn’t adore it more.

Do you have a seminal album?

The Condé Nast Store

For as much as I harp about my unpleasant experiences working for the evil empire known as Condé Nast, I do need to give them credit where credit is due.

If you’ve never been to the Condé Nast Store to browse through the limited edition photographs the site sells, then you need to go.  I could easily spend tens of thousands of dollars there.  A large, framed-version of the Vogue cover picture above goes for $535 US.  I don’t believe that’s an unreasonble price to pay, but I’m waiting for it to go to final clearance.  That’s how I saved so much money on my new patio set from Sears.  It was 70% off!

Anyway, it’s a pleasure to browse through the images on the site, sort of like a Sunday drive through the history of 20th century fashion.  When you’ve got a couple of hours to spare, click on the link above and enjoy the ride.

Wolford Stay-Ups

My fellow fashion blogger Melissa recently held a “Tights, Stockings, but No Leggings” theme party.

What a riot!  I adore theme parties.  I don’t really know what happened to them.  I guess sometime during the 90s everyone thought that their taste was too good to partake in such silliness.  In the meantime, I stopped going to most of their boring functions.

If I had been invited to Melissa’s party, I probably would have shown up wearing the Wolford “Polka” Stay-Ups in the photo (above).  I do have to admit that many of my parties end up being “Tights, Stockings, Panties and Bras” themed, although it’s no fault of my own.  After a few drinks, Ceri Marsh is always digging around in her bag for a deck of cards to play strip poker.  I swear that she was born with a lampshade on her head!

Donna Karan

I found this photo of Donna Karan on jezebel.com with a caption that reads “Look, we all know Donna Karan can design amazing clothes . . . why doesn’t she wear them?”

I’ve asked myself the same question dozens of times before.  Donna Karan might just be the most woman-friendly designer in the history of fashion.  I’ve rarely seen anything on her runway that wouldn’t flatter a wide variety of humps, bumps and lovely lady lumps.  Her company’s complimentary looks haven’t suffered whatsoever since Peter Speliopoulos took over duties as chief designer, either.

So why does she dress the way she does?  Her personal style can be a little too revealing and rather unflattering to her body type.  In fact, she breaks a lot of fashion’s cardinal rules when it comes to putting herself together.  So what’s up with her wardrobe?

I can only think of one answer to that question: She dresses the way she does because she likes the way she looks.

Who can find fault in that?  I certainly can’t.  In a way, she reminds me of an uptown Stevie Nicks.  I really don’t like the way Stevie Nicks dresses because I believe a lot of her wardrobe choices are meant to create a diversion from a body that the singer herself is not comfortable with.  I don’t get that same vibe from Donna Karan.  She appears to embrace all sixty years of her existence with exuberance.

Frankly, she makes me sort of jealous.  Jealous and hopeful, but jealous nonetheless.

Tonya Lee Williams

Fifty-year-old Tonya Lee Williams recently returned to her role as Dr. Olivia Barber-Winters on The Young and the Restless.  Yes, she’s FIFTY YEARS OLD.  It’s positively dumbfounding.

Tonya started out as a Miss Black Ontario winner and a dancer on CityTV’s Boogie!  My favorite Boogie! moment ever was when Tonya was modeling in the Funky Boogie! Fashion Show, a regular segment on the program.  Tonya danced around in emerald green harem pants with a matching tube top and turban, as the announcer remarked “Tonya’s kickin’ out all the jams in this funky shade of green.”  To this day, that line still brings tears to my eyes.  I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed harder at anything in my entire life.  For whatever reason, it just cracks me up.

Tonya became a regular on Y&R in 1990, but her character has been mostly absent for the past few years.  I hope she’s back to stay for awhile.  Y&R has a tremendously long memory, and Dr. Olivia has several unresolved issues in Genoa City.  Just for kicks, I’d like her to sleep with Brad again.  Oh, the memories . . .

Anyway, I don’t know what she does to stay so young looking, but someone needs to ask her.  Maybe the girls at FASHION could find out and write something about it in the magazine.  In my not-so-humble opinion, it’s worth a feature.  Whatever she’s doing, I need to start doing it yesterday.

Latin Cardio Dance

The debate over whether or not fashion models are too skinny has been going on as long as I can remember.  It gets me so riled up that I’ve learned to just turn my back on the issue — I’d rather worry about my own health and well-being than worry about the health of a bunch of scrawny millionaires whom I’ve never even met.  I’ve also been into fitness as long as I can remember, and I’ve learned that the best thing that I can do for others is to lead by example.

I guess that’s why I’m so fond of the cast of Dancing with the Stars.  To see athletic women in skimpy costumes showing the world how attractive muscles can be gives me a little hope for the future.  Shorty Cheryl Burke didn’t exactly win the genetic lottery when you compare her to her willowy fellow professional dancer Edyta Sliwinska.  Still, Cheryl isn’t afraid to get out on the dance floor to shake what her mother gave her.  She’s as fit as she can be given the body she’s got, and that’s something we should all aspire to.

Cheryl and her castmates are also getting into the fitness video business.  I hope that they sell a zillion of these DVDs.  I get nostalgic when I blog about the group fitness craze of the 80s because it was so much fun.  I’d not only love to see the Dancing with the Stars workout create a new craze, but I’d also like to see more people taking accountability for their own physical condition.  That all starts by introducing activity into your daily routine.  And whining about how the fashion industry skews the perception of what the ideal women should look like isn’t an activity.  It doesn’t burn any calories and it doesn’t make you look or feel any better at the end of the day.