Auntie Fashion

Coco Rocha on FASHION

Just a moment ago, while trying to upload this photo, I was simultaneously watching a story on the morning news about a rogue moose wandering through my neighborhood.  “Only in Canada,” I said to myself.  Then I got back to thinking about Coco Rocha.

No, she doesn’t remind me of a moose.  Yet she does remind me of another Canadian model: Linda Evangelista.  They look nothing alike, but they do share something in common, besides being Canadian.  Like Linda, Coco is hands-down the best working model of her generation.

I watched the video that accompanies the FASHION Magazine story, and I was amazed by this girl’s talent in front of the camera.  There always seems to be one girl in the biz with skills that make all the other girls look like dime-a-dozen clothes hangers.  Sometimes that girl is the also the prettiest face in the business (Linda Evangelista, Carmen Kass), and sometimes she’s the odd girl out (Stacey McKenzie).  I remember watching a young Kate Moss in a Dior show when I still wasn’t sure what the big deal was, and my jaw literally dropped when she unbuttoned a coat.  That was it.  She unbuttoned a coat and all of a sudden she was my favorite model.

Now there are girls who can unbutton a coat, and there are girls who can unbutton a coat.  Coco is one of the latter.  There is such presence to everything she does.  I can’t stop watching her when she’s on the runway.  Everyone around her becomes completely irrelevant, and the show is about her and her alone.

I understand why some designers find that quality threatening; I wouldn’t want to be upstaged, either.  But there comes a point when a great model breaks through to add a degree of celebrity to a product.  I guess that’s when she becomes a genuine supermodel.  Coco is on the verge of that breakthrough, and I’m happy for her.  She’s going to be a household name soon.  It couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl – or a better model, for that matter.

On a related note, I’d better sign her for Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 before her rates skyrocket!

Marjie, my Moose Jaw Fashion Week correspondent, sent me a few photos that she had taken on her last visit to her home town.  Among the pictures was this image of a Winnebago parked in front of a gas station.

That got me thinking.  If Mary Murphy can have a Hot Tamale Train on So You Think You Can Dance, why can’t Auntie Fashion have a Moose Jaw Motorhome of Style?

To ride the Motorhome of Style, you’ll have to do something to impress me — and I’m not that easily pleased.  My motorhome has been around the block a few times, and I’ve refused to pull over for people who are more fabulous than most of you.  So if you want a lift, you’re going to have to do something besides just sticking out your thumb.

I’ll be announcing my first inductee in a day or two.  Maybe it’s you.  Probably not, though . . .

Yay!  I finally found a Moose Jaw native who is willing to assist me as I endeavor to make Canada’s Glamour Capital live up to its name.

Meet Marjorie Withajay.  Marjie, as her friends call her, is an aspiring glamour puss who couldn’t be a day over twenty-nine.  She was forced to leave Moose Jaw to labor Cinderella-style as a scullery wench in the home of her sister, Tatie-Pie Susko. 

Dazzled by the bright lights of the Town ‘n’ Country Mall during her last visit, Marjie dreams of a day when she can stop peeling potatoes long enough to return to Moose Jaw.  To paraphrase the aspiring fashionista, her hunger for glamour is as insatiable as her sister’s hunger for carbohydrates.

Sneaking onto the computer late at night from the office of her brother-in-law, donut magnate Rojando, Marjie will risk life and limb in order to provide Auntie Fashion with an insider’s perspective of Moose Jaw as a I prepare to make Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 the most stylish event in the history of the world.

Let’s hope she doesn’t get caught!  I like this girl.  I’m getting a Jackie O vibe from the new photo she sent me.  Sure, it might be Jackie O via Saan, but at least she’s trying.  I’ve got four years to make her a star, anyhow!

I can’t get enough of Donna Mills!  I need to figure out a way to make room for her in the front row at Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012.  I wonder if Joe Zee would mind sitting on André Leon’s lap?

Rumor has it that this girl is from Moose Jaw.  I’m currently negotiating with her people to make her my official correspondent for Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012.  She’s sort of a diamond in the rough, so I feel like Professor Henry Higgins when he first gazed upon Eliza Doolittle.

Whatever the case, she’s perfect for the part.  Those legs go on for days!  I bet she’s at least 5′10″.

Ottawa

There’s a rumor flying around that the second season of Project Runway Canada will be taped in Ottawa.  Maybe the entry form says something like that.  I didn’t bother to read it, so I can’t be sure.

It doesn’t bother me that the show won’t be based in Toronto.  I have nothing against Toronto, but I do have something against the sense of entitlement that many people in Toronto have.  Canada is a big country with several large cities.  Ottawa ranks fourth on the list according to 2006 numbers, which may be inaccurate today because of Edmonton’s unprecedented growth over the past few years.

But size doesn’t really matter in this case, anyway.  The show is almost self-contained.  Except for the final runway challenge, there’s nothing on PRC that demands a particular setting.  The workroom, the hotel and the catwalk could be in any city and the viewers wouldn’t really notice the difference.

TV in Los Angeles isn’t any different.  The Sony lot, for instance, is in Culver City.  If you’ve ever been there, Culver City is not Hollywood.  It’s about as glamorous as an armpit.  Still, it was originally the MGM lot, where Norma Shearer, Greta Garbo and Joan Crawford held court as the studio’s biggest stars.  The Wizard of Oz was filmed there.  What could be more magical than that?

So for anyone in Toronto who is lamenting the loss of PRC, get over it.  Like fashion itself, the experience of being cast on the show is going to be a positive experience if that’s what you want it to be.  If you want to make magic in Ottawa, you’ll make magic in Ottawa.  If you want to make magic in Edmonton, you’ll make magic in Edmonton.  However, if you want to make magic in Moose Jaw, you’ll have to wait until 2012.  The power of positive thinking can only go so far.

Ports 1961

Ports 1961 reminds me of companies like Ferragamo or Bally.  Twenty-five years ago brand loyalists were still wearing the label, but to the fashionista of the time (who were clamoring for Claude Montana), the ship had already sailed on Ports.

But for those women who shunned electric blue leather suits with shoulder pads that could put out an eye, Ports remained a viable option.  Even if it wasn’t dictating the trends, the name was still synonymous with quality sportswear.  Unfortunately, the line became a casualty of the retail slump that saw many brands give up on their retail ventures in the late 80s and early 90s.

Newly relaunched, the Ports label hasn’t generated a lot of buzz yet.  Creative director Tia Cibani still seems to be searching for a direction that would give the brand some much-needed recognition.  Jumping from theme to theme, her collections have earned criticism for occasionally treading into that forbidden territory known as “Costume” with her misguided runway styling.  For now, I believe she needs to forget about brand identity and focus on the clothes.

And when it comes to the clothes that Ports is currently selling, I’m sold on the label.  This saucy little number would look perfect on one of the Rags and Mags girls on the red carpet at the Much Music Video Awards.  Even better, the price is right.  When I was on the Ports site earlier, I didn’t wince once when I browsed the online catalogue.

Now if I can only convince Ports 1961 to show at Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012, all will be well in the world.

Sears

Well, I finally got around to posting some links to sites I like to visit (see the Blogroll in the right-hand column).  I’ll probably post some more eventually, but I’m a little reluctant to send my readers to shopping blogs.  I really, really, really don’t like shopping blogs.  That explains some of the missing links.

It seems as some people write blogs just to talk about what they would wear if they could afford everything that they covet.  That’s not terribly aspirational, is it?  Why not blog about an article of clothing you found that no one else is wearing this season, and then chronicle the process as you single-handedly try to bring it back into style?  Why not blog about the how the current trends have changed your perception of a particular look that you swore you would never, ever wear?  Why not blog about something that will prove your sense of style isn’t just a by-product of a clever marketing campaign launched by LVMH and endorsed by a Conde Nast title.

Blogging, like fashion, is presenting a public image of yourself that reveals your inner-workings to an audience that can number in the billions.  It should serve the reader and it should serve your ego.  Revealing that you like to shop isn’t the best way to show the world what kind of person you are.  We’re all much better than what we can afford, aren’t we?

By the way, did you know that you can get that sassy T-shirt with the chimpmunk decals on the Sears Outlet site?  It’s only $14.99.  Yeah, I know — but it’s all I can afford.  I sure hope this Moose Jaw Fashion Week gig turns into a cash cow.

Moose Jaw Fashion Week Logo

Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is beginning to pick up some momentum. Despite being snubbed by FASHION magazine’s Ceri Marsh (don’t take it personally, Moose Jaw — she probably hates all of Saskatchewan), the wise and gorgeous Danielle Meder of finalfashion.ca has wisely chosen to side with Auntie Fashion rather than incur the wrath of Zob. She even went as far as creating this lovely illustration for me to use in the promotional packages for the event.

I have been doing a little research about Canada’s Glamour Capital in order to plan the festivities.  Did you know that TV legend Art Linkletter was born in Moose Jaw?  2012 will also mark his 100th birthday.  Perhaps I can get him to host a special backstage segment at the event called Models Say the Darndest Things.

Moose Jaw is also the home of the Town ‘n’ Country mall. I like that name — it’s classy. More people should use that abbreviated spelling of the word and, like Viktor ‘n’ Rolf.  Amperands are sooooo five years ago.  Anyway, that reminds me; I should invite them.

I’ve also chosen “Moose Jaw Fashion Week: If you can stand the glamour!” as the official slogan of the event. According to their website, the Moose Jaw Union Hospital has twenty psychiatric beds for those of you who won’t be able to stand the glamour.

By the way, I am still looking for a Moose Jaw correspondent to assist me in planning the event.  Interested parties can apply via the comments section below.

Julia Dunstall

What is it about Canadian models?  I was cruising through the Chanel Cruise collection on style.com this morning when I noticed at least five fabulous Canadian girls in the lineup.

It made me realize that I made a wise choice to call this country my home after the Marc Jacobs incident.  Once I had accepted my new found mortality, I knew I needed to drink from the same fountain of gorgeousness that Linda Evangelista had been reared on — and the rest is history.

But now that I’ve been here a while I’m starting to see the influence that my presence has bestowed upon this vast nation.  The people are getting better looking with each passing generation.  Gunn, Alberta-native Julia Dunstall, for instance, would have been a youngster when I first moved to Canada, and look at her now!  Just breathing the same air that I have respired makes people better looking.  It’s uncanny!

For that reason, I’m a convinced that Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012 is going to be a success beyond my wildest dreams.  Only I’m going to have to make an effort to get to Canada’s Glamour Capital in the near future.  How can I expect to make Moose Jaw the epicenter of the fashion world when I haven’t even set foot in the city?

In the meantime, I would like to advertise for a Moose Jaw correspondent for my blog.  I need someone to be my liaison while I plan the most prestigious fashion event of the 21st century.  Any interested Moose Jaw natives can contact me via the comments section below.  Only the insanely glamorous need apply.