Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for August 2008

Who doesn’t love jumpsuits?

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Z Zegna

I pinched this image off of because I found it intriguing that a label like Zegna would be trying to sell jumpsuits to men.  But then I realized that I had already seen another men’s jumpsuit at the luxe Bottega Veneta show.  That led me to ask myself: Are jumpsuits the next big thing?

I sure hope so!  Your dear, old Auntie Fashion loves it when fashion gets ridiculous.  And any time any sort of onesie is in style, ridiculous is usually the word to describe it.

Just think of all the hilarious variations of the onesie.  There are jumpsuits, flight suits, overalls, catsuits, unitards, coveralls, and even the romper — a personal favorite of Moose Jaw Fashion Week’s muse Marjie Withajay and her sister, Tatie-Pie Susko.

Aside from the more-utilitarian versions of these garments, it’s rare to see any of them anywhere but the runway.  Most guys just don’t seem to be fans of all-in-one outfits.  Back in the 80s, International Male sold flight suits in their catalogues.  Montreal-based label Parachute had a few jumpsuits in their ultra-trendy line up, as well.  Still, I don’t ever remember seeing one on anyone who wasn’t working in a Parachute boutique.  I also remember seeing them sold at Le Chateau.  Fashion flirted with utilitarian themes in the mid-80s, and the men’s jumpsuit/flight suit seemed to fit right into that theme.  Again, I only saw them worn by a few of that store’s employees.

Nevertheless, I’d be thrilled if they would catch on this time around.  And if not jumpsuits, how about unitards?  Anything that would cover up underwear waistbands would be fine with me.  If I never saw another wannabe gang-bangers exposed underpants, I would go to my grave with a smile on my face.

So let’s exchange an exhausted trend for something that’s fresh and fun.  Please — I’m begging you.  The world needs more jumpsuits!

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August 31, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Posted in Trend Warning

Happy Birthday, Debbie Gibson

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Debbie Gibson

Happy birthday, Debbie Gibson.  If I was with you today, I’d shake your love.  I mean your hand — I’d shake your hand.

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August 31, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Ask Auntie

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Dear Auntie Fashion;

You claim to be the fashion industry’s most-enduring muse.  So why haven’t I ever heard any fashion designers mention you as the inspiration for their collections?

Skeptical in San Moritz

Dear Skeptical;

I have been mentioned hundreds — if not thousands — of times.  You just haven’t been listening, you impertinent twit.  Don’t blame me if you’ve sticking your Q-Tips in too deep.  It says right on the box “Do not insert swab into ear canal.”

Love and kisses,


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August 30, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Posted in Ask Auntie

Happy Birthday, Frederique

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Happy birthday, Frederique Van Der Wal.  It’s been a long time since you were Elite’s Look of the Year winner, and nowadays Kim Noorda is raking in the bucks looking like she’s been cloned from your DNA.  I guess it just goes to show you that gorgeous never goes out of style.

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August 30, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

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The nerve!

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Number 11

The Daily News has published a list of the fifty most-powerful New Yorkers in the fashion biz.  Surprisingly, I wasn’t on the list.  I know I don’t make the Big Apple my home, but my influence pervades every aspect of the fashion industry.  What were they thinking by failing to recognize me?

Anyhow, I did see a couple of old friend’s names amongst the rankings.  My former boss, Brandusa Niro, was mentioned.  Simon Doonan also ranked rather highly on the list, although quite far behind the Evil AntiZob.  However, I’m confident that we’ll both rise up the rankings one day, overtaking Marc Jacobs and his special brand of evil.  We’re like a dynamic duo — but not that dynamic duo.  You could say that Simon Doonan is the Lyle Waggoner to my Lynda Carter.

In other Simon Doonan-related news, I do need to address the rumors that I am the surrogate mother of Ricky Martin’s twin boys.  For the record, I did not give birth to his children.  Auntie Fashion has promised her womb to Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler.  Shortly after their upcoming wedding, I am expecting to be flown to a fertility clinic where I will be inseminated with their stylish brood.

I’m not exactly the motherly type, so don’t expect to see me out and about with a pack of little Doodlers in tow.  I just couldn’t say no to those lovely boys when they asked for a couple of eggs.  You know your Auntie: I live to give!

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August 29, 2008 at 10:30 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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Happy Birthday, Michael Jackson

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Michael Jackson

Happy birthday, Michael Jackson.  Fifty, huh?  I remember you back when you were still a PYT.

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August 29, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Expand Your Fashion Vocabulary #12

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McGregor Tartan

Rob Roy: A hunting jacket named after the title character from Sir Walter Scott’s novel “Rob Roy.”  The modern Rob Roy is crafted from any red and black plaid fabric — not just Rob Roy McGregor’s tartan.  It’s hideousness is thought to stop deer and other helpless animals dead in their tracks.

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August 28, 2008 at 8:51 pm