Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for October 2008

Happy Birthday, Sally Kirkland

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Sally Kirkland

Happy birthday, Sally Kirkland.  Every red carpet needs a girl like you.

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October 31, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

And then a hero comes along . . .

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Much to my surprise, Stylista just got a thousand times better.  After a so-so premiere, the show is shaping up to be a classic of its genre, all because of Ashlie.

It usually takes a few episodes for rivalries to form.  Megan, however, came into the house swinging.  Although Kate was her target, Ashlie quickly saw through Megan and called her out on her bully tactics.  Calling her something like “the spawn of Satan and Rosemary’s Baby,” Ashlie instantly became my reality show hero.

I don’t know if I’ve seen a good guy/bad guy rivalry like this since CariDee took on Smellrose on America’s Next Top Model.  I just can’t wait to see what happens next.

In other news, Jason needs to learn how to chill out and Anne Slowey shouldn’t wear poochy brocade dresses.

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October 30, 2008 at 1:55 pm

I Adore Tonya Lee Williams

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Tonya Lee Williams

Fifty-year-old Tonya Lee Williams recently returned to her role as Dr. Olivia Barber-Winters on The Young and the Restless.  Yes, she’s FIFTY YEARS OLD.  It’s positively dumbfounding.

Tonya started out as a Miss Black Ontario winner and a dancer on CityTV’s Boogie!  My favorite Boogie! moment ever was when Tonya was modeling in the Funky Boogie! Fashion Show, a regular segment on the program.  Tonya danced around in emerald green harem pants with a matching tube top and turban, as the announcer remarked “Tonya’s kickin’ out all the jams in this funky shade of green.”  To this day, that line still brings tears to my eyes.  I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed harder at anything in my entire life.  For whatever reason, it just cracks me up.

Tonya became a regular on Y&R in 1990, but her character has been mostly absent for the past few years.  I hope she’s back to stay for awhile.  Y&R has a tremendously long memory, and Dr. Olivia has several unresolved issues in Genoa City.  Just for kicks, I’d like her to sleep with Brad again.  Oh, the memories . . .

Anyway, I don’t know what she does to stay so young looking, but someone needs to ask her.  Maybe the girls at FASHION could find out and write something about it in the magazine.  In my not-so-humble opinion, it’s worth a feature.  Whatever she’s doing, I need to start doing it yesterday.

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October 30, 2008 at 3:38 am

Posted in I Adore...

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Happy Birthday, Eva Marcille

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Eva Marcille

Happy birthday, Eva Marcille aka Eva Pigford.  You’ve gone from my favorite primetime show to my favorite daytime show.  There’s nothing you can do now to make me like you more.

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October 30, 2008 at 1:59 am

Posted in Fashionably Old

Winter 1983

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Cover: Winter 1983

Context: Tennis player Björn Borg retires after winning five consecutive Wimbledon championships.  Agyness Deyn is born on February 16 in Manchester, England.  Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean” begins its nine-week run at the top of the charts.  Attempting to remove a piece of gum stuck to her Norma Kamali shoe, Ceri Marsh serendipitously invents the moonwalk.

Points of Interest: Designer Perry Ellis died just three years after his interview with FASHION.  He was one of the first public figures to succumb to AIDS.

What Tyra Would Say: “Where is the girl who won this week’s posing challenge with Benny Ninja?  All I see is a catalogue model.”

What Auntie Fashion Says: I’d like to know what “dangers” of the “physical life” are mentioned inside the magazine.  Athlete’s foot?  Headband chafing?  Legwarmer mania?

Grade: C-.

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October 29, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Posted in 30 Years of FASHION

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Happy Birthday, Winona Ryder

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Winona Ryder

Happy birthday, Winona Ryder.  Let’s go on a shopping spree for your birthday!  We’ll start at Saks and see where that takes us.

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October 29, 2008 at 3:32 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

The Worst Episode of Project Runway Ever

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Blayne’s Libra Dress

Since Project Runway runs on Canadian TV about a month later than it runs on US channels, I don’t blog much about it.  By the time I get around to talking about the episodes, everyone else has already forgotten about them.

However, I don’t believe that anyone will be able to forget the avant garde/astrology challenge.  I’ve never seen uglier dresses on the show.  It was a nightmare from start to finish.

As I’ve mentioned before, my friend Greg is the author of Cosmically Chic: Discovering Your Fashion Style through Astrology.  He called me the moment Heidi Klum mentioned that this episode’s challenge would be based on astrology.  I don’t even have call display, but I picked up the phone and said “Yes, I’m watching!” instead of “Hello.”

For the next hour, I had to listen to him rant and rave about the inanity of the challenge.  Apparently, Greg has sent letters off to both the Canadian and the US version of the show, pitching a challenge based on a less-literal interpretation of the zodiac signs.  Obviously, no one ever got back to him.

Anyway, he really is onto something.  His book is quite perceptive, and his comments last night made a lot of sense.  He also sent me a scan of a sidebar titled Star Standards from a two-page spread he sold to the National Post.  It was a list of archetypal images from Hollywood that — in his opinion — defined the style of their zodiac signs.  Libra’s icon was “Rita Hayworth flipping back her long, luxurious hair in Gilda.”

Now I can buy that.  While we were talking on the phone, Greg mentioned the word “refined” to describe Libra.  He also described the sign’s style as “sophisticated, intellectual and tasteful.”  In the meantime, Blayne was crafting a dress that Michael Kors aptly described as “pooping fabric.”  Kors seemed to know a lot about astrology, Greg noted.  He also mentioned that Kors’ sophisticated designs for Celine were mentioned in his book as a prime example of typical Libra style.  Now I certainly didn’t see Celine anywhere in that hideous mess.

Thankfully, the stars aligned and Blayne got the boot.  Jerell won the challenge with another weird excursion into the thrift store of his mind.  The rest of the designers created a whole lot of ugliness without really paying attention to the astrology brief or the avant garde nature of the challenge.  In Greg’s words, it was “a wasted opportunity, from start to finish.”

I couldn’t agree more.

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October 28, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Must Have #3

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Lint Roller

Here’s another one of my MUST HAVES.  While most fashion experts are blabbing about why every woman needs to own at least one jumpsuit come springtime, I’d rather tell you how to get out of your house without looking like an idiot.

Costco sells these 3M Lint Rollers in a six-pack.  Sometimes they’ll throw in a bonus mini-lint roller that will fit into your puniest clutch bag.  They’re great to have in winter, especially when you inadvertantly sit on a chair that has formerly been occupied by some broad in a cheap fur coat that’s shedding all over the place.

Like most fashionable women, I tend to wear a lot of black, and for that reason these things are an essential part of my beauty regimen.  Even if you look like Christy Turlington, when you walk into a room covered in cat fur and dander, people don’t remember your gorgeous face.

So don’t become renowned for your detritus.  No woman worth her weight in Birkin bags is ever linty.

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October 28, 2008 at 3:36 pm

Happy Birthday, Julia Roberts

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Julia Roberts

Happy birthday, Julia Roberts.  Even though you starred in the second most-annoying movie I’ve ever seen, I still think you’re okay.

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October 28, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

My Post-Season Rant

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Lucinda McRuvy

Although I’m often dismissed by the fabulous Lucinda McRuvy, I can’t deny that the woman is cut from the same cloth as your Auntie.  Like me, she sometimes seems as if she’s got an axe to grind with the Toronto fashion press.  I was reading her most recent post on Rags and Mags about the Drake Survivor Brunch and Fashion Week Wrap Up, when I came across this horrifying passage:

“Slightly offended that I was not invited to participate (even though I attended most shows this week and other panelists admitted to missing most), the panel did offer intelligent insights on Fashion Week.”

I took some flack last season for calling Toronto Fashion Week a “civic circle jerk,” so I won’t go down that path again.  This time I’m going to slap the faces of those lazy members of the press who don’t bother to attend the runway presentations.

What kind of third-rate journalist has the nerve to get the job covering the fashion beat and then miss the shows?  It makes it even worse when they manage to show up at a brunch afterward where they’re put in the spotlight instead of the designers.

I figured that missing shows was sort of an isolated incident.  However, I had just read an online column on where one reporter admitted that she was late for some shows and had to resort to using video replay to review the presentations.  At least she gave her readers the impression that she had done something wrong.

But she couldn’t have been the only one.  I got a call yesterday morning asking me to do commentary on the shows on CTV Newsnet.  Although I would have done a decent job critiquing the shows, I declined to do the interview because I also watched the shows on video.  I had the flu last week, and I still sound like Lunchlady Doris from The Simpsons.  Instead of infecting the entire city of Toronto, I stayed home.  So rather than showing up at the CTV studios for my turn in the spotlight, I gave the reporter a couple of names of people who would have been at the shows.  She’s lucky that I was able to help because she was having no luck finding someone who could give her a first-hand account of the event.  She told me that she had even left a message for Robin Kay.  I let her know what I thought of that idea.

Anyway, I hope that one of you lovelies who reads my blog got a call.  I know a few of you live and breathe this stuff, and it’s unfair that many of the people who call the shots in this town are getting to do brunch while you’re getting the table scraps.  Oh well!  If there’s one thing to look forward to when the economy goes bad, it’s this: People really start to pay attention to who is working the hardest.  Except for death, there’s no greater equalizer than a good recession.

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October 27, 2008 at 1:57 pm