Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for March 2009

Deep in Vogue

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America's Next Top Model

House of Ninja

Here’s a screen cap from “Paris is Burning 2” starring Benny Ninja.  Drag balls sure appear to be suffering in the current economy.

Actually, it’s a photo from last night’s episode of America’s Next Top Model.  That’s Plussie Kortnie posing with Benny and a bunch of kids who were abandoned by their parents at T-Zone.  Isn’t that Tootie in the front row?

Speaking of Tootie, Survivor Tahlia is becoming Tyra’s pet-project this cycle.  When Too-Old Celia got tired of watching the judges praise the spark-losing pretty-rester, Tyra curtly dismissed Celia so that she could intervene in a future episode.  I can smell a Tyravention from a mile away.

Anyway, it made for a fun episode with drama to spare.  Next week the shit hits the fan when Celia realizes that Tyra routinely eats girls like her for lunch and Tahlia discovers that being disliked by everyone she meets might be detrimental to her success.

I can’t wait!


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March 26, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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Happy Birthday, Keira Knightley

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Keira Knightley

Happy birthday, Keira Knightley.  Have a piece of cake.  Better yet, have a whole cake.  It will do wonders for your disposition.

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March 26, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

My Two Gross Dads

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The Martones

Every news outlet seems to reporting that the world’s grossest couple are considering adopting a baby girl.  I have nothing against gay marriage or gay parents adopting children, but because Marc Jacobs is my nemesis, this news alarms me.

I suppose that this is part of a plot by the Evil AntiZob to create a legion of doom.  I’m sure that one baby will turn into two, then four, then eight, etc.  Soon the Martone househould will look like a cross between Mia Farrow’s apartment and the set of “Village of the Damned.”

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

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March 25, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Morgane Dubled

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Morgane Dubled

No matter what look is fashionable in a particular era, there are always a few models who get work because they’ve got something that the others just don’t have.  In Morgane Dubled’s case, she possesses a better body than almost any other girl in the business.

You can almost count on the designers putting Dubled in a swimsuit, a transparent dress, or even less.  Her editorial bookings (like the Bazaar shoot in the photo above) tend to focus on her figure.  She’s set the industry standard for the perfect proportions, working shows such as Christian Dior Couture and Victoria’s Secret in the same season.  There aren’t a lot of girls who can bridge the gap between those two worlds, but Morgane Dubled makes it look like a piece of cake.  Cheesecake, perhaps, but cake nonetheless.

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March 25, 2009 at 5:01 pm

Butt of the Joké . . .

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The words you are about to read will not be able to express my disappointment with Project Runway Canada last night.

Everything about the show was great up until the judges made their final decision and sent Adejoké home.  After praising the former challenge winner for creating her best work in the competition, the judges declared a tie between Sunny, Jessica, Genevieve and Jason.

Sunny and Jessica were clearly the winners of this challenge.  Genevieve made a top that fit and Jason made a jacket that fit — big deal.  Forget the fact that her skirt was decorated like a Christmas tree and his cooch-grazing skirt was embarrassingly off-trend; they were rewarded for being as good as their competition.

I’ve never seen anyone get the shaft like this on a non-scripted show.  Sure, Kim deserved to go, but there was no reason to make Adejoké’s success in the competition contingent upon Kim’s questionable talent.

This is the sort of moment that makes the reality show fans jump ship.  It’s great to surprise the audience with the return of both heroes and villains, but it’s aggravating for viewers to watch as the producer’s machinations backfire and put them into a situation like this.  Genevieve and Jason didn’t deserve a second chance, especially after creating the outfits that they showed on the runway.

The situation reminds me of the season of America’s Next Top Model where Whitney won over Anya after landing in the bottom-two four times.  Anya had never been in the bottom-two.  All I could do was roll my eyes as I watched the show script a win for a non-deserving winner.  I don’t believe that Adejoké would have won if she was in the top-three, but she certainly would have appeared as if she belonged in the finale.  Unlike Kim, Genevieve and Jason, she was constantly immersed in the learning process that PRC had offered her.

Instead we get self-deluded Genevieve and taste-challenged Jason back for another few episodes.  The joké is on us.

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March 25, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Happy Birthday, Tatjana Patitz

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Tatjana Patitz

Happy birthday, Tatjana Patitz.  I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw you walking the runway at Hermès a couple of weeks ago.  I don’t believe the fashion business has ever seen a more versatile girl than you, and you’re still my favorite model of all time.

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March 25, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Expand Your Fashion Vocabulary #30

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Astrakhan: The fur of newborn or fetal lambs, known for its tightly curled and ridged appearance.  The name “astrakhan” replaced the name “Persian lamb” in order to market the hide to consumers who were unaware of the material’s origin.  For some reason, the notion of killing a baby animal seems more repulsive than killing its mother.

In my opinion, you might as well wear veal.

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March 24, 2009 at 3:54 pm