Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for September 2010

Prada

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Prada

I had a zillion things to do yesterday, so I didn’t get a chance to discuss the latest Prada show that is being hailed as the greatest show of the season by many critics, including most of the important ones.

I only have one thing to say, and that’s this: Pull your head out of your ass and look at the clothes.  I’m so sick of people hailing Miuccia Prada as a genius no matter what she does.  Her jolie laide approach to dressing women is uglier far more often than it’s pretty.  Putting some of the most beautiful girls in the world on a runway and making them look like homely, color blind idiots shouldn’t be rewarded with praise when the clothes themselves were weak and hardly groundbreaking.

I’ve seen hints on a lot of runways of the over-the-top, technicolor early-90s that competed with grunge.  Jeremy Scott referenced the Acid House era in his usual tongue-and-cheek manner last season.  Giles Deacon did it without hitting me over the head while creating some truly covetable clothes in London earlier this week.  But when Miuccia does it, Suzy Menkes, Cathy Horyn and the rest of the fashion press laud her as if she was the only person in fashion with the brains to launch the next wave of retro schtick.  Unfortunately, the clothes were hideous.  Hideous!

The color palette was often migraine-inducing.  Hospital scrub-like tops fit the scrawny models like tarps.  Horizontal stripes were everywhere.  Zipped blazers were boxy, ill-fitted and reminiscent of polyester versions still available today in lines like Tan Jay that appeal to boxy women in their golden years.

I’ll admit it: A few outfits were terrific.  The spaghetti-strap dresses and some of the separates were darling.  Several individual pieces could work in a less ridiculous context (and maybe on those few women who would wear a horizontal-striped pencil skirt — about one-percent of the population).  But all I got from the styling was the idea that Prada is trying too hard to challenge the notions of conventional beauty.  The same critics I’ve already lambasted seemed to adore Pat McGrath’s “silent film” makeup.  I thought that the models looked like Miss Jane Hathaway from “The Beverly Hillbillies,” only not as pretty.  I also thought that the fun fur stoles were awful.  I’m all for faux fur when it means keeping the real stuff on the backs of the critters who it belongs to, but I wouldn’t want to be the woman who purchased a Prada stole only to see the knockoff version of the same garment on the sale rack at Claire’s next week.

For a label that’s got such cachet, there was not a lot on this runway that was special, and it boggles my mind that there are elements of the fashion press who continue to find artistic genius in every one of Miuccia Prada’s shows, including the bad ones.  I’m not surprised that critics can have contrary opinions.  I’m just baffled by their loyalty to a few designers who continue to make women look like lumpy circus clowns and sideshow freaks.  In my opinion, this was the worst show of the season so far.  I’m might be an outsider pretending to be an insider, but I’m not that far out of the loop.  So it just begs the question I have to ask my fellow critics: What in the name of Zob were you thinking?

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September 25, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Posted in Random Reviews

The ANTM Clearinghouse

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Furonda

Wow!

Just this morning I discovered ANTM 411 on WordPress.  It’s a site that answers the question “Where are the models of ANTM now?”  So instead of Googling “Furonda” and having to dig through piles of crap to find a nugget of gold (like the photo I posted above), you can simply click on a link in the sidebar.  The models’ names are listed first by cycle and then in elimination order.  It makes it all so easy.

I’m going to be visiting this site often.  It’s going to take a long time to get through the amount of information that’s already been compiled, and the author Modelscribe has a talent for digging up hidden gems, like my fabulous photo with CariDee where I got her to reenact her final two hug with Smellrose.

I’ve also added it to my blogroll on the right.  Go ahead — click it.  Tell ’em Auntie Fashion sent ya!

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September 25, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Happy Birthday, Jessica Lucas

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Jessica Lucas

Happy birthday, Jessica Lucas.  You should know that I was upset when “Melrose Place” was cancelled, but not nearly as upset I was when you weren’t eaten by the “Cloverfield” monster.  Why doesn’t anything turn out the way I want it to?

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September 24, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Francesco Scognamiglio

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Francesco Scognamiglio

After complaining in my last review that no one in London knows how to sew, I was delighted to see Francesco Scognamiglio’s Milan Fashion Week show for S/S 2011.  His catwalks are always interesting — especially if you like boobs — but this one should have designers like Tom Ford and Christophe Decarnin scrambling to keep up.  No one in fashion has produced such elegant, kinky trash in years!

These are the clothes that are going to make the editors gush while the starlets line up at the designer’s atelier.  With every presentation, I’m beginning to believe that Scognamiglio should be showing in Paris as part of the couture shows.  Someone with a lot of money is going to snatch this guy up soon.  He’s exactly what the world of fashion needs right now.

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September 23, 2010 at 10:56 pm

Posted in Random Reviews

Makeovers!

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Kayla & Jane

Look!  It’s a couple of professional models backstage at a fashion show.  Wait a minute — those aren’t models!  Those are contestants on “America’s Next Top Model“!

The always-thrilling makeover episode aired last night, and it didn’t disappoint me whatsoever.  In fact, Tyra’s decision to present the makeovers in a nearly gimmick-free manner might have been dull, but the format allowed plenty of time to send a blubbering Terra packing after the stylists cut off all her hair.  Don’t these girls ever watch the show?  You never cry during your makeover!

Anyway, the excitement continued into the photo shoot, where a terrible photographer whose name I already forgot took awful pictures that had Tyra & Co. reeling at panel.  Of course, they blamed the models for not pushing through and modeling through it, but in fifteen cycles of ANTM I haven’t seen a shoot tank this badly.  Just moments before the shoot we were treated to a post-makeover studio session that produced several lovely photos.  Did eight of the twelve girls simply forget everything they had learned the moment they stepped in front of another camera, or did their photographer suck incredibly?  My money is on the latter.

My money is also on Kayla and Jane still.  Someone sent me a link to the photo I posted above.  In fact, I’ve received a couple of spoiler links and related comments here at my blog regarding my speculative musings.  Apparently, some people believe that my picks for the final three go far in the competition because there are some candid competition pics floating around the Internet.  I try to avoid all spoilers, but I can’t exactly ignore my blog comments.  I do, however, take them with a grain of salt since 99% of them are wrong.  Nevertheless, my psychic pick for the final two is looking good.  Kayla and Jane look like honest-to-Zob models.  Who knew?

With Sara cut at panel, the girls from the back row of the promo photo are dropping like flies.  Who’s next?  I bet it’s Kacey.  Except for CariDee, I don’t believe that the horny girl has ever won the show.  The way she was all over the male models last night made me think that she’s a little too distracted to become the next Saliesha Stowers.  If you want to be on top, you’ve got to give up everything, including men — right Tyra?

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September 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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Happy Birthday, Jason Alexander

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Jason Alexander

Happy birthday, Jason Alexander.  I wouldn’t want to ruin your diet, so I’ll just share this whole cake I baked for you with Kirstie Alley.  That’s what friends are for . . .

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September 23, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Erdem

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Erdem

Something weird is going on in London.  Like a lot of loudmouths, I’ve been blabbing incessantly about digital prints for the past couple of seasons because the prints have been the most exciting thing on London’s runways.  But a moment ago it occurred to me that it’s been ages since I’ve praised a London-based designer for design talent and tailoring.  Aren’t those the things that the Brits are known for?

Sure, plenty of British designers are running fashion empires in other cities.  There are graduates of Central Saint Martins working all over the world.  But the recent crop of graduates hasn’t been impressing me with their sewing skills.  Everyone is a creative director nowadays, and both the cut of the clothes and consistency of the collections are suffering because no one is trying to create anything new.

Take Erdem Moralioglu, for example.  Although the Canadian-born designer isn’t a CSM alum, he’s making the same mistakes as his British counterparts.  I found his S/S 2011 collection to be breathtaking, but when I took a second look I realized that only the prints and the color combinations got my heart pumping faster.  The same thing happened at Jonathan Saunders and again at Christopher Kane.

What I’d like to see from these guys is a little innovation in cut and construction.  When you step back and look at London Fashion Week as a whole, tailoring was sorely lacking in the city known for its tailoring.  Seeing the fashion world pay homage to the late Alexander McQueen only drove that point home.  For the sake of fashion, someone in London ought to learn how to sew again.

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September 22, 2010 at 6:11 pm

Posted in Random Reviews

Clements Ribeiro

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Clements Ribeiro

I was probably the biggest fan of Inacio Ribeiro and Suzanne Clements when they helmed Cacharel a few years back.  Working at that label, at that price point and at that time in history, the design duo consistently produced some of the cutest, most-influential clothes of the era.  Every junior label was knocking off their designs.  And, as the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery . . .

Since that time, the Clements Ribeiro label has been their focus, but for some reason the pair hasn’t been showing their collections on the runway for the last five years or so.  So their return to the catwalk was a welcome one.  I adored almost all of their S/S 2011 collection.  They have almost unparalleled panache when it comes to mixing prints artfully, and a consistent vision of the cute girl who would go crazy for their clothes.  The presentation lost a little steam at the end when monochromatic looks replaced the riot of color that dominated the show, but maybe those clothes would look better in a boutique than on a runway.

In any case, it was a welcome return.  So few designers in London can go from season-to-season without embarrassing themselves.  The consistent cuteness at Clements Ribeiro, however, is something you can set your watch to — even five years later.

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September 22, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Posted in Random Reviews

Rachel Zoe’s Workout Regimen

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Rachel Zoe

Step One: Find a dress heavier than you are.

Step Two: Wear until exhausted.

Muscles Targeted: Glutes, Quads, Hamstrings.

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September 22, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Happy Birthday, Joan Jett

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Joan Jett

Happy birthday, Joan Jett.  You might be surprised to learn that no other song describes my relationship with cheese quite like “I Hate Myself for Loving You.”  Thanks for putting my feelings into words . . .

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September 22, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old