Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for December 2010

How to Be a Better Customer in 2011: #17

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Suggestion #17: If shopping is no longer a pleasure for you, stay ****ing home.

Enough said?

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December 31, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Elaine Irwin

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Elaine Irwin

I never knew what to think about Elaine Irwin.  At about the same time as models like Tatjana Patitz and Estelle Lefebure were getting almost all the work, along came this beautiful American girl who looked like a hybrid version of the two of them.  She walked a couple of runways, and although I don’t remember seeing her on one, she was getting the prized covers without putting in a fraction of the effort.  Next thing I know she was getting married to John Mellencamp, and soon afterward she would disappear from the modeling world altogether, leaving me wondering what happened to her.  Of course, I recognized her right away when she reappeared as a model for Almay several years later, just as gorgeous as ever.

Irwin is in the news again, but not because of her modeling.  Yesterday she announced that her marriage with Mellencamp is over.  According to the media, she’s planning on staying in Indiana to raise her two boys.  I get the idea that Elaine Irwin was never really a supermodel because she didn’t want to be a supermodel.  If her heart wasn’t in it, who could blame her?  Nevertheless, the body of work that she amassed in a very short time is amazing.  But when you have a face like Elaine Irwin, what else could you expect?

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December 31, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Happy Birthday, Bebe Neuwirth

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Bebe Neuwirth

Happy birthday, Bebe Neuwirth.  Singer, dancer, actress, Capricorn — who said a girl can’t have it all?

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December 31, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

My Least-Favorite Things About Fashion in 2010

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In no particular order:

The Much-Hailed Astrology Shoot in British Vogue: A lovely layout that had NOTHING to do with astrology.  Click on the Cosmically Chic link to the right if you really want to read about fashion astrology.

Giles Deacon for Ungaro: There was nothing wrong with Deacon’s work, however, it didn’t do enough to reclaim the history of the house.  It wasn’t a failure, but rather an uncharacteristic misstep from a man whose work I usually worship.

Vogue ItaliaMeets America’s Next Top Model: Fashion’s most-overrated magazine was supposed to “elevate” ANTM.  Instead we got more of the same (not that I’m complaining about the show), just repackaged in a format that made Franca Sozzani appear more important than any other fashion magazine editor in the entire world.  She’s not, and the appearance of her low-rent office on the program should have made that abundantly clear.

Baptiste Giabiconi’s Music Video: Photogenic, yes.  Telegenic, no.

The Plus-Sized Model Controversy: Beautiful women who know how to model are a rarity.  We need to learn how to accept them on their own terms because looking at them is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

Prada: I’m with Joan Rivers on this one, except that I believe Miuccia hates everyone, not just Americans.

Lanvin Mania: Shut up, already, about how wonderful Lanvin is all of a sudden.  It’s been wonderful for years.

Raf Simons: Zzzzzzzzzzz . . .

The Preferred Advertiser List Scandal atHarper’s Bazaar“: Yeah, we all knew it was happening, but you could have been more discreet, Glenda.

The Inane Backstage Banter at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show: C’mon!  No one was watching the show to hear stage directions.

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December 30, 2010 at 7:21 pm

My Favorite Things About Fashion in 2010

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Tom Ford

In no particular order:

The Return of Tom Ford to Womenswear: Yeah, we’re all excited about it.  Who can blame us? After being employed by CondéNast’s online division, I had my doubts that the divorce between “Vogue” and would result in something positive.  It did.  Color me surprised!

Sarah Mower: You’re the one voice in fashion that I never grow weary of reading.

Jennifer Campbell: FASHION” magazine’s delightful online editor has always understood what makes a website interesting and navigable.  “Flare” will be lucky to have her in 2011.

Tomas Maier: If you’re going to helm a luxury brand, then you need to understand the meaning of exclusivity.  Maier is my kind of snob.

Jane Randall and Esther Petrak: America’s Next Top Model” has never had sexier contestants.

Pants: I like pants, especially pants with a waistband that sits somewhere near the waist.

Versace’s S/S 2011 Collection: It’s always nice to have something to look forward to.

Constance Jablonski: Right out of the gate, I knew she was the next big one.  Estee Lauder agreed.

Timberland: Mainstream vegan shoes?  Yes, I am intrigued, but mostly because I know I’ll be able to get them instead of just reading about them.

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December 30, 2010 at 6:41 pm

How to Be a Better Customer in 2011: #16

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Sales Clerk

Suggestion #16: Be nice to the sales staff.

You may believe that the lowly sales associates in most retail stores are too stupid to remember you from one day to the next, but they aren’t.  So when they make a beeline around you to get to a regular customer who treats them with respect, don’t forget that it’s because you’re an asshole who no one wants to help.  That’s what you get for being mean, rude, obnoxious, etc.

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December 30, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Happy Birthday, Heidi Fleiss

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Heidi Fleiss

Happy birthday, Heidi Fleiss.  Well, at least it’s not cats . . .

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December 30, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

How to Be a Better Customer in 2011: #15

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Suggestion #15: Make realistic decisions when making major purchases.

I hear a lot of horror stories about people getting terrible service when they buy big ticket items.  I also hear a lot of stupid people telling me how the stores they shop in fail to meet their completely unrealistic expectations.  But mostly I hear a lot of horror stories that are a combination of bad salesmanship and unrealistic expectations on behalf of customers.

For instance, I listened in on a phone conversation where a store manager had to appease a customer who had disconnected his old stove in anticipation of the arrival of a new stove that was supposed to be delivered to his house on the evening before Thanksgiving.  The store offered a pick-up service for the old appliance that included removal of the old unit and installation of the new unit free of charge.  Yet the customer must have had plans for his old stove, so he decided to remove it himself before the new one was delivered.  He also decided that getting his new stove exactly as planned was something that was written in stone.  Nothing could go wrong because that’s how he planned it, right?  There was a problem with the delivery truck, of course, and he didn’t get the stove.  So he called the store and went on rant to the manager about how he had invited a whole bunch of people over for Thanksgiving dinner and he didn’t have a stove.

Now if that was me ordering a new stove, I would have made sure that I had the appliance a week or two ahead of the day I absolutely needed it.  I also would have taken advantage of the offer to dispose of my old range.  I would have allowed for the delivery company to reschedule, too, because I’m smart enough to realize that plenty of factors go into the logistics of a delivery service.  Traffic, weather, human error, etc., can all play a major role in delivery, so I wouldn’t have been stupid enough to leave everything to the very last minute and expect it all to work out exactly as planned.

I heard another story just the other day about someone getting carpet installed the day before she was throwing a party.  The salesman who measured the carpet made a mistake and didn’t measure correctly.  It wasn’t until the very last staircase was being carpeted when the installers realized that they didn’t have enough product to finish.  What were they supposed to do?  The carpet was ordered from the manufacturer and it would take weeks for more to arrive.  The homeowner was livid.  It was anyone’s fault but her own.

Or was it?  It made me wonder if every single moment of her entire life had gone exactly as planned until that incident?  Probably not.  People make mistakes, and all these services are run by people.  The mistakes the customers made by not allowing any room for error were just as foolish as the mistakes made by delivery driver who ran his truck off the road while answering his cell phone or the mistakes made by the carpet salesmen who couldn’t operate his calculator properly.

The moral of this story: Make realistic decisions with a margin for error and you’ll be far less likely to be disappointed when things go wrong.  Humans make errors — yourself included.

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December 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Happy Birthday, Jude Law

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Jude Law

Happy birthday, Jude Law.  I’m going to celebrate your special day by watching a movie you’ve been in.  I have plenty of choices since I’ve only seen two of them.  What have I been doing for the last twenty years?

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December 29, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

How to Be a Better Customer in 2011: #14

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Black Friday

Suggestion #14: Don’t go shopping on the busiest days of the year and complain that you can’t get any service.

Really, how stupid are you?

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December 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm