Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Let the random speculation begin!

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ANTM All-Stars

Okay, so my record of picking the winner of “America’s Next Top Model” hasn’t exactly been stellar.  Last season I picked Molly from the group shot but added that Tyra would probably like Brittani.  Why didn’t I just pick Brittani?  Well, let’s not get into how drunk I am while I write this blog.  Mind your own business . . .

Anyway, I’ve already introduced the contestants here and provided helpful odds to those of you who like to bet on these things.  Yet I’m not quite sure that the odds I provided back in May are accurate now that I’ve seen this promotional photo for the upcoming season.  The last time Tyra appeared in the center of one of these photos, the two girls above her made the final five along with three of the girls standing beside her.  Now that I see where stupid f***ing Shannon is situated in the shot, I’m scared that she’s going to go far in the competition.  I still have high hopes for Kayla, Allison, Bianca and Bre, but Shannon?  I gave her one-in-a-million odds!  The last photo I saw of her made her look like Lindsay Lohan’s hard-living older sister.  Maybe she’s cleaned herself up, but I doubt it.

I’m a big Laura fan, too, but in that same group photo I mentioned, being pictured anywhere south of Tyra’s crotch was a kiss of death.  On the bright side, that means that bitchy Alexandria won’t win, either.  Also, both Dominique and Angelea are in the center row which probably means that they’ll stick around long enough to meet in the bottom two where the judges will discuss who has the bigger penis.  My money’s on Angelea.  I’ve heard that she’s hung like a buffalo.  Or maybe she’s from Buffalo.  I wasn’t paying attention.

ANTM All-Stars premieres September 14.

EDITED TO ADD: Someone just informed me that the above photo was created by a fan!  Perhaps I won’t have to see Shannon’s leathery face in the final five after all.  Hooray!

Written by Post Author

August 22, 2011 at 3:06 am

One Response

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  1. Dear Auntie Fashion

    I love your writing style and wit, keep up the great work!! I really enjoyed your summary of ANTM, but your others posts are great as well.

    Happy blogging! 🙂


    September 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

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