Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for August 2012

Happy Birthday, Queen Rania of Jordan

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Queen Rania of Jordan

Happy birthday, Queen Rania of Jordan.  I know — I was wondering why he wears that funny hat, too.

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August 31, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Peggy Lipton

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Peggy Lipton

Happy birthday, Peggy Lipton.  “The Mod Squad soon will be taking another run, the Mod Squad, promises something for everyone . . .”.

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August 30, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

The Word That Won’t Go Away

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Effortless

A couple of posts back I revisted my contempt for the word “effortless.”  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!  Of any cliche in the world of fashion, the one that bothers me the most is the idea that there is a heiress somewhere who slips out of bed after an all-night bender, picks up her $150, 000 Atelier Versace gown off the floor, ties her hair in a messy updo while having a cigarette and then takes her limousine to a red carpet event where she’s embraced by the paparazzi for embodying “effortless” chic.

Of course, it’s the cliche that won’t die because there are always enough people working in fashion who believe that a girl like that exists.  In the meantime, ninety-nine-percent of them are stylists who descend upon their clients in swarms in order to get them camera-ready for every envelope opening in Tinseltown.  If anyone should understand the stupidity of worshipping effortlessness, it’s them, especially if they want know-it-alls like me to take them seriously for the work they’re doing.

Anyway, just a moment ago I was clicking through a slideshow on “The Cut” entitled “122 Designers Share Their Spring 2013 Inspirations” (click the link above).  The article features a single word or phrase accompanied by an image that reflects the label’s upcoming presentation.  And what word did stylist-turned-designer Rachel Zoe aka BeelZoeBub™ use to describe her S/S 2013 collection?  “Effortless.”  No surprise there!

I can bad-mouth Marc Jacobs all day long, but lately this handmaiden of the Evil AntiZob just seems to be more evil to me than the demon himself.  Everything she does makes me feel as if fashion is the most wicked vocation the world has ever known.  Then someone else — someone with a soul — puts on a runway show that is so inspiring and so creative that it pulls me back toward the light and makes me realize that I’m not wasting my life by aspiring to remain relevant in this frivolous business.

I wonder who it’s going to be this season?  It would be nice if it was a designer who championed “effort” . . .

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August 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Happy Birthday, Elliott Gould

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Elliott Gould

Happy birthday, Elliott Gould.  I wouldn’t go to the prom with you if you were Elliott Gould.  Oh — wait a minute!

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August 29, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Andrej Pejic

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Andrej Pejic

Happy birthday, Andrej Pejic.  A man pretending to be a woman?  Well, I never!

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August 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

I’m over “fussy” . . .

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Jessica Biel

I spotted this Giambattista Valli Couture dress on Jessica Biel while I was clicking through the vogue.com “10 Best Dressed” list earlier this morning.  At that time, it was the overwhelming fan-favorite with the vogue.com readers, earning more than double the number of votes than its closest competitor.  My reaction to the dress was quite different; I cringed when I saw it.  I thought it was fussy and overwrought — complaints I generally have when I’m watching a Giambattista Valli runway show.  Nevertheless, the designer has made himself a lot of fans over the past couple of years.  I guess I can’t help it that I’m not one of them.  I’m a simple girl with simple tastes . . .

Okay, I’m not fooling anyone with that one.  Still, my sixth sense of style doesn’t allow me to look at anything that’s too prissy without a visceral reaction.  I can’t understand why grown women want to look like princesses or brides or princess brides when they’re not standing on an altar or the balcony of Buckingham Palace.  Jessica Biel was photographed in this dress at the “Total Recall” premiere in London, for Zob’s sake!

I wish that she would have worn something a little more badass to the premiere of a science fiction movie — Marios Schwab, for instance.  The guy is doing is cinematic glamour with some serious bite.  My astrologer tells me that when Saturn moves into Scorpio on October 5 for a two-and-a-half year stay, that fashion is going to have a lot more bite.  I sure hope so!  I’m so weary of this trend of putting twenty-something actresses in fussy couture dresses that rightfully should appeal to girls who still watch Disney movies or their zillionaire grandmothers who prudently avoid the red carpet when they attend charity events.

The funniest thing about this photo on the “Vogue” website, though, wasn’t the votes that the look was receiving, but rather the text that introduced the article.  With no sense of irony, it read “the ladies on this list looked effortless . . .”.  I don’t know what’s effortless about wearing a dress that costs more than the average North American makes in a year, but it reminds me of another word besides “fussy” that I was over with back in 2008: the word “effortless.”  Can all you “Fashion Police” wannabes just put that one to rest for a few years?  And take your fussy couture dresses with you, please!

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August 27, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Posted in Things I Loathe

Happy Birthday, Kyle Lowder

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Kyle Lowder

Happy birthday, Kyle Lowder.  My friend Rusty claims that Nicole is his favorite character on “Days of Our Lives,” but only because he falls asleep every night wondering what it would be like to be your real-life wife.

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August 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old