Wear a Gown to Work Day is Two Days Away
So, my astrologer tells me that today transiting Jupiter conjuncts my natal Jupiter. I guess that only happens once every twelve years and it’s supposed to signal a time of buoyant optimism and good fortune. Unfortunately, I’m feeling neither buoyant nor optimistic because the fifth-annual Wear a Gown to Work Day is only two days away and no one really seems to care. It’s as if the universe is taunting me with the promise of something fabulous, and yet the only fabulous thing that’s happened to me lately was when I bought a Mars Bar from a vending machine yesterday and two bars fell out. True story!
Anyway, I’m not going to be discouraged. I’m a glamour pioneer driving my chuckwagon of incomprehensible gorgeousness into the wild west of fashion. One day people will sing songs about my courageous campaign to introduce gown-wearing to the unwashed masses. They’ll name national parks after me and put my photo on stamps. They’ll finally say “She is as visionary as she is humble,” to which I’ll respond, “Tell me something I don’t know!”
Until then, however, I’ll just have to keep chuckwagoning forward into virgin territory where no fashionista has gone before while the rest of you watch from afar, like a distant herd chewing your collective cud. See you on the other side!