Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for July 2013

The Cut will hire anyone . . .

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David Scoroposki

David Scoroposki

The Cut” introduced its new horoscope column today penned by David Scoroposki.  Scoroposki is also a fashion editor at “Town & Country” magazine and if I remember correctly, I used to read his name on the “Vogue” masthead.  Wow — an astrologer who also works in fashion!  Who would have thought?

Anyway, he seems like a nice enough guy, but his horoscopes aren’t really meaty enough — even for a vegetarian, like me.  I sort of wish that the blog would have consulted my astrologer and spiritual advisor, Greg Polkosnik.  Greg is not only a fashion and astrology writer, but after a lifetime of working out he claims to be “the astrologer who can beat up all the other astrologers.”  I’m sure that I’m not alone when I say that one day his very unique skill set will come in handy.

For now, though, he’ll have to be content with his fate as Scoroposki broods for the camera, nearly collapsing from the weight of that heavy book he’s holding.  So unpretentious . . .

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July 31, 2013 at 4:04 pm

Happy Birthday, Wesley Snipes

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Wesley Snipes

Wesley Snipes

Happy birthday, Wesley Snipes.  Due to your stint in prison, I wasn’t able to find a recent photo of you to illustrate this post.  In the meantime, enjoy this screencap of Kenya Moore from the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” . . .

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July 31, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

The September Issues

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Lucky

Lucky

It’s been a while since I went on a magazine-buying splurge to see what everyone else is writing about. Chances are, it’s the same old shit that they’re always writing about (like “perfect hair and glowy skin”), but I wouldn’t know.  So I think I’m going to spend a little money this summer and stock up on the September issues of glossies like “Lucky,” which is about to publish its first issue under the editorial direction of Eva Chen.  I’ve hated this particular magazine in the past because I hate shopping magazines; I’m a sucker for clever content and photos of things I can’t afford really doesn’t really fit into that category.

Anyway, I’m going to review these titles just because it will give me something to blog about — just like those “street style stars” and their fascinating wardrobes that need to be chronicled online so that we can “dress like them.”  Maybe this project will allow me to identify what the business is currently missing so that I can once again insert myself into a paying position at one of these titles.  I suspect that it’s wit and candor, but I should probably confirm my suspicions before I start alienating potential employers.

Stay tuned!

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July 30, 2013 at 4:07 pm

Happy Birthday, Jaime Pressly

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Jaime Pressly

Jaime Pressly

Happy birthday, Jaime Pressly.  My friend Rusty has always dreamed of appearing on the cover of “Shape.”  On that note, is “potato” considered to be a shape?

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July 30, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Cynthia Rowley

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Cynthia Rowley

Cynthia Rowley

Happy birthday, Cynthia Rowley.  Just between you and me, I believe that there are far too many Leo designers working in New York City.  You could do yourself a favor if you took a couple out . . .

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July 29, 2013 at 4:12 pm

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Happy Birthday, Sally Struthers

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Sally Struthers

Sally Struthers

Happy birthday, Sally Struthers.  I also like to spend my birthdays telling random children that they’re adopted . . .

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July 28, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Lupita Tovar

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Lupita Tovar

Lupita Tovar

Happy birthday, Lupita Tovar.  I’ll admit that I don’t know who you are, but words cannot describe how much I adore this photo of you I found on Wikipedia.  I want to hang it my salon . . .

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July 27, 2013 at 4:28 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old