Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for August 2013

Gurls Gone Wild

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The Guy Who Gets to Kiss the Girl

Chris & Nina

No, that’s not “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestant Willam being felt up by seventies icon Joyce DeWitt (although I kind of wish it was).  That’s Chris and Nina from “America’s Next Top Model: Guys and Girls.”

This week’s gender-bending commercial was for “Questionable,” a made-up body spray that needs to be a real thing.  Now that the nineties are back in style, gender non-specific perfumes like ck one should be right around the corner.  My friend Rusty is a big fan of scents that don’t discriminate.  That’s why you can always depend upon him smelling like a well-used deep fryer at KFC.

But I digress!  This episode had its moments.  There was plenty of good (Marvin licking Renee’s face; Marvin refusing to do anything to please Perez Hilton; Jourdan essentially being told by Tyra that there is no excuse to be a dumbass) and bad (Perez Hilton; Tyra’s eyebrows; the judges handing out perfect scores like they were candy).  In the end, Alexandra was sent home for looking too much like Paul Sutera in “The Brady Bunch Movie.”  I thought the resemblance was uncanny!  The judges thought it was unacceptable.

Anyway, I’m curious to see when the models are going to do some actual modeling this season.  So far everything has been so over-the-top that I’m really not sure if there’s an actual model in the bunch.  I guess I need to see a beauty shot or an editorial shoot with the sort of styling that would require a model to sell the clothes.  Every photo shoot so far has been an ego wank for the photographer and Johnny Wujek.  I live for the camp value of this show, but c’mon!  Has he produced a single shot this cycle that a model could put in a portfolio?  I don’t think so.

Well, there’s always next week . . .

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August 31, 2013 at 5:03 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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Happy Birthday, Julie Brown

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Julie Brown

Julie Brown

Happy birthday, Julie Brown.  Sometimes I get you confused with “DowntownJulie Brown,  so I say to myself “Just try to remember which one is more famous.”  I’m still trying . . .

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August 31, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Paul Oakenfold

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Paul Oakenfold

Paul Oakenfold

Happy birthday, Paul Oakenfold.  You might not be a household name, but always remember that I know who you are.  That’s all that really matters, right?

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August 30, 2013 at 1:36 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Courtney Stodden

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Courtney Stodden

Courtney Stodden

Happy birthday, Courtney Stodden.  It’s funny that you’re currently on the British version of “Big Brother” because just yesterday I sent in my own audition video for “Big Brother Canada.”  Where do the similarities end?

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August 29, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Quvenzhané Wallis

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Quvenzhané Wallis

Quvenzhané Wallis

Happy birthday, Quvenzhané Wallis.  I’m sure won’t be the first person to say this, and I’m sure I won’t be the last, but can I call you something else?  Anything?

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August 28, 2013 at 3:54 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Happy Birthday, Tuesday Weld

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Tuesday Weld

Tuesday Weld

Happy birthday, Tuesday Weld.  It’s your birthday AND it’s a Tuesday — what are the odds?

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August 27, 2013 at 1:55 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Expand Your Fashion Vocabulary #74

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Cheese

Cheese

Tyrotoxism: Poisoning by cheese or any other dairy product.  Not to be confused with Tyratoxism which is defined as poisoning by watching too many episodes of “America’s Next Top Model.”

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August 27, 2013 at 1:20 pm