Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Like a fine cheese . . .

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The Girl Who Gets Married Again

ANTM

After the rush of last week’s casting episode, “America’s Next Top Model: Guys and Girls” got down to business with an alternative wedding-themed photo shoot and a double elimination.  Short Chris was sent home, meaning that tall Chris will simply be known as “Chris.”  Speaking of names I can’t remember, I also didn’t know the difference between Jiana and Bianca until Bianca also got the boot.  Jiana, however, has become memorable to me because she reminds me of my heroine Cristal Connors in this girl-on-girl wedding photo.  I can’t be the only one who imagines that she’s thinking “You have great tits” while cozying up to Kanani.

On the topic of tits, Jeremy did a nudist-themed shoot with Jourdan where I noticed that his nipples seem to be a little too far apart, like Kate Moss‘ pupils (which sometimes seem to be focused on two directions at once).  Oh well — that hasn’t kept her from working!  In twenty years perhaps we’ll all be talking about Jeremy’s groundbreaking nipples that were single-handedly responsible for changing the modeling industry forever.

Nothing else surprising happened except for Marvin’s laughable horniness and Mike’s exceptionally drunken antics in the house.  Maybe he’ll be this season’s Lisa D’Amato!  Speaking of people who look twenty years older than they are, Kelly Cutrone was exceptionally vile this episode.  She doesn’t even make a good cartoon villain because even cartoon villains have something going for them, like a great outfit or a maniacal laugh.  Kelly Cutrone has nothing that makes me jealous.  Nothing.

Anyway, this episode was fun.  Next week’s it’s makeover time which is always good for a laugh.  No matter how old this show gets, I still think it’s deliciously fun.  It’s like a fine cheese that still tastes great even after you’ve cut off the moldy part.  Now if only Tyra Banks would realize that Kelly Cutrone is the moldy part . . .

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Written by Post Author

August 11, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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