Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

America’s Next Top Model Has Long Legs, Resembles Actual Models

with 2 comments

Jourdan

Jourdan

I haven’t been posting about “America’s Next Top Model: Guys and Girls” because, frankly, it’s been a boring season.  The manufactured drama aka “Everyone Hates Chris” started to wear on me because I actually felt sorry for Chris H in a way that I usually don’t feel for reality show contestants.  All these kids ganging up on the most-damaged contestant in the house deserved a slap upside the head — especially the season’s “moral center,” Cory.  What’s worse is that the fan forums that I like to haunt were taken over by Cory supporters who blindly rallied behind the least-modelesque, most-hypocritical contestant this show has seen in twenty cycles just because of his sexuality, while they simultaneously criticized Jourdan and Marvin for their “poor me” stories.  Blechh!

Anyway, with the wealth of attractive contestants and the inclusion of male contestants, this should have been the best season of ANTM ever.   However, it was derailed by consistently crappy photo shoots, meaningless challenges that had nothing to do with improving the skills of the contestants, a social media component that has made it clear that a pretty girl with dyed blonde hair will always come out on top, and the perennially insufferable duo of Kelly Cutrone and Bryanboy.  I don’t care what they contribute to panel, Tyra — they’re awful people!

Still, everything ended up all right in the end when Jourdan came out on top.  She really does have some potential as a model.  She’s still a teenager, her runway walk is great and she’s got legs for days!  With a little guidance from a major agency she could make some money.  I honestly feel that Chris H. and Marvin will do okay, too.  Phil might get somewhere, as well, although his height could be problematic.  I chose him as an early favorite when I didn’t realize that he’s 6’3″.  The guy has a lot of commercial appeal, though.  He needs to find a venue where he can shine.  I suggest acting; I could see him on a soap opera tomorrow.  The camera loves him.

But I digress!  I was discussing how horrible this season was, and I guess that we’re in for another round because the show is recruiting contestants for a second “Guys and Girls” cycle.  If first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  You’ll get a male winner eventually, Tyra.  Unless, of course, you invite Virgg back and she walks off with the crown.  Won’t that just bust your weave!

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Written by Post Author

November 16, 2013 at 4:38 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

Tagged with ,

2 Responses

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  1. In that photo the shirt seems like code for something.

    rustyspigot

    November 16, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    • There’s an old rap song called “I Left My Wallet in El Segundo.” Maybe it’s a riff on that?

      Post Author

      November 17, 2013 at 5:40 am


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