Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

“You All Suck”

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Several years ago, mspiritual guru and friend, Greg Polkosnik, wrote a book  called “Cosmically Chic: Discovering Your Fashion Style through Astrology.”  Since that time he’s sat back and watched every two-bit hack without an original seed of thought in their rotting melon “discover” fashion astrology as if it was the hottest trend in the world.

Greg certainly didn’t take credit for inventing the discipline, but he was the first writer to get a trade paperback published on the subject — and this was back in the days when publishing a book took a little more effort than reading a “how-to-self-publish-a-book tutorial” on the Internet.

Back then, astrology was everywhere, except that you had to really look for it.  There were lovely Estée Lauder zodiac compacts available, as well as fine jewelry (much like the Dior pendants featured in the photo above).  You could find vintage T-shirt decals from the seventies and eighties with zodiac symbols emblazoned in glitter and vinyl.  Tom Ford and Karl Lagerfeld even admitted to both Jeanne Beker that their collections owed something to their shared zodiac sign, Virgo.

What you couldn’t do in those days was a Google search that would show millions of results for “fashion astrology” and all the related products while simultaneously exposing hundreds of charlatans who all claim to be on the vanguard of both fashion and astrology.  In the words of “The World’s Foremost Expert on Fashion Astrology” himself, “you all suck.”  You can take your so-called expertise and shove it up your collective ass because Greg is on to bigger and better things with his upcoming book.  And once again, you’re all going to look at that one and say “Why didn’t I think of that?” and then you’re going to claim that you did anyway because that’s what you do.  And that’s what you’re always going to do, because you suck, suck, suck . . .


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November 18, 2013 at 4:09 pm

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