Enter the Week of Incomprehensible Gorgeousness!
Well, the Week of Incomprehensible Gorgeousness is finally here. While I know that’s good news for people like me who celebrate a birthday during the seven days in which all the most gorgeous people were born, it’s got to be difficult to be born a few days too late to be included in this special “club.” Take Charo, for example. She tries so hard to be incomprehensibly gorgeous, but the fact is that her gorgeousness is totally comprehensible. Who doesn’t look at her and immediately understand why she’s been a glamour icon for more than half a century?
Anyway, my gorgeousness is more sophisticated than that. It’s like that Prada shoe that you’re not so sure about. Is it the most wonderful thing you’ve even seen in your life, or is it made less gorgeous due to the fact that it challenges your definition of gorgeousness? In either case it really doesn’t matter because if you’re not a part of this club, you’ll never understand. People who are born during the Week of Incomprehensible Gorgeousness have been endowed with a very special gift from the Goddess Zob herself: the ability to appreciate their superiority with grace and humility. Fifty-one weeks of the year we pretend to be just like the rest of you in order to downplay our cosmic gifts. Yet for one week a year, we’re allowed to revel in our gorgeousness while attempting to explain the inexplicable to people who do not have the neural framework to comprehend what we’re talking about.
So if you, the loyal readers of my blog, sometimes feel as you’re Britney Spears listening in to a conversation between Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein, don’t worry about it. I’ll bring it back to earth next week. But for now, just give me this one.