Be Careful What You Wish For
Well, after finally getting my wish of seeing a contestant over the age of forty on “Big Brother Canada,” I’m seriously doubting ever asking the reality television gods for any more favors. Paul has turned out to be a big, fat sack of crap. After last night’s episode, I couldn’t hate the guy any more if I tried.
Anyway, as is the custom on this blog, I’m going to rank the thirteen players still in the game based upon their performance so far. Keep in mind that I’ve already revoked several of my first impressions, yet I’m still going on very little information because every time I tune in to the “live” feeds, they’re down.
Nevertheless, from first to worst, here it goes:
#1: Kenny — Kenny isn’t just playing a good social game, but he’s won a Veto (which everyone knows even though the producers decided to make it a cliffhanger), he’s in a plum position in the First Five alliance, and he’s pulling his weight in a secondary alliance with Jon. He gets extra points for his bromance with Andrew!
#2: Andrew — Andrew has already won two competitions and has himself firmly entrenched in the most promising first-day alliance I’ve ever seen on this show. I didn’t believe that the Brigade could do it, but they did. These guys have made me a believer from moment they walked into the house. Andrew picks his teammates as well as he picks his nose.
#3: Arlie — I really don’t like Arlie, but he’s in a terrific place to be as the third person in a five-person alliance. I am concerned that he might decide that he’s smarter than the rest of the First Five, getting himself voted out early in the process Matt Hoffman-style. It’s the curse of the self-described super fan to think way too much.
#4: Sabrina — Sabrina seems to be causing drama and crying a lot, but she deserves some major credit for her behind-the-scenes work with the girl alliance. Her and Sarah are playing the other girls like a fiddle. The only reason she’s ahead of Sarah on this list is that she’s sort of obnoxious and that makes her a better choice to take to the final two.
#5: Sarah — She has surprised me with her game play! She’s smart and she has obviously watched the show before. She earns bonus points for her antipathy towards the odious Paul, but she loses even more points when I look at her terribly-plucked eyebrows. Who does that to themselves?
#6: Jon — If Jon can stay in the game without injuring himself, he’ll make it this far. He’s too likable (according to the other house guests) to get much farther, but he’s not on anyone’s radar at the moment. I wouldn’t care if he went out earlier, though. I can’t look at his puffy, red eyes any longer. What was wrong with him during last night’s episode? Hopefully, only his charm is infective.
#7: Rachelle — Rachelle seems to be the smartest girl in the girl’s alliance, but unless she realizes that the First Five are together, her potential in this game is going to be wasted. She’s a threat.
#8: Neda — Neda needs to step it up. She’s got a good social game, but she’s trying to lay low. At the moment, I can’t see her going very far.
#9: Heather — Even though she’s not really in any alliance, no one takes Heather seriously. She’ll be gone soon.
#10: Ika — I like-a Ika! Still, her days in the house are numbered. Her ability to see through Paul’s bullshit is impeccable. Maybe she’ll be the one who exposes the First Five before they’re unstoppable. If she did that, she’d soar to the top of this list.
#11: Adel — Of all the house guests, Adel is receiving the most favorable edit. Without the feeds, I wouldn’t even know that he’s a mentally unstable nincompoop.
#12: Kyle — I think Kyle is a great guy. He’s nice, funny, charming and far more intelligent than anyone realizes. He has a great vocabulary and a better command of idiomatic language than anyone else in the house. His downfall is his alliance. I wish I knew how he ended up on the other side of the house, but it seems to have happened before the feeds ever came on.
#13: Paul — Paul is the most disgusting, loathsome asshole I’ve seen on “Big Brother” in years. He’s bat shit crazy, too, if he believes that anyone in Canada is buying his make-it-up-as-I-go strategy as a master plan to win the competition. Watching him compete for the Veto last night was embarrassing. Robyn Kass needs to slap herself upside the head for casting yet another forty-something loser on this show.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.