Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Back to Reality

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MGM Grand

MGM Grand

Well, I’m back from Las Vegas.  I’ve actually been back for a few days, but it takes me a while to pull myself together after a trip to Sin City.  Highlights of my stay at the MGM Grand include getting tracked down at the slot machines by a VIP Casino Host who wanted to introduce herself to my high-rolling friend Tatie-Pie, and getting my entire bill comped because I spent too much in the casino.  Whoops!  It got even more ridiculous when I got home and found an email in my inbox telling me that they would send a limousine for me the next time I visited.  They know a sucker when they see one!

I didn’t spend the entire time gambling, though.  I drank a lot, too.  I can’t wait to get to the gym this morning to work off some of this bloat.  Surviving on the maraschino cherries the waitresses plop into my Mai Tais is not a weight-management strategy that I’d recommend, although the supplementary fiber kept me from regularly pulling up to the trough at the buffet like many of my fellow gamblers.  Jeez, there are a lot of fat people in Vegas!

On that note, the town has really become nightlife central.  I know this because every evening around nine o’clock an army of fat girls in short, strapless dresses from the Bebe outlet store would march through the MGM on their way to Hakkasan, a huge nightclub.  I’d watch them from my slot machine, tugging up their sausage casing-like bodices as they tromped down the aisles in sky-high heels that made them pitch forward like gorillas with lower-back problems.

Now I don’t care what anyone wants to look like: if that’s your shtick, the more power to you.  It just reminds me of how inelegant Las Vegas has become.  I was in the casino when a bride walked by in her full regalia, accompanied by her groom and two people in baggy cargo shorts and rumpled T-shirts.  My friend Tatie-Pie leaned over to me and whispered “So nice of her family to dress up.”  Oh, that made me laugh!  But then I looked at Tatie-Pie, sitting there with her cute haircut, a simple black dress that she had bought at Ann Taylor earlier that day, her lovely Bottega Veneta bag (yes, that’s a little overkill, but you get my point, right?), and I said to myself “It really doesn’t take that much effort, does it?”

I suppose that I should be grateful that not everyone knows how to dress, or iron, or bathe.  It makes people like me look all the more elegant and sophisticated.  I was really dumbfounded when the casino offered me limousine service because I don’t believe that I’m a high roller — I didn’t spend that much money!  But I guess when the casino hosts are given the choice of having more skanks looking to score in the hotel, or more people who wear pants, it’s lucky for me that they always choose the latter.

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Written by Post Author

March 23, 2014 at 3:11 pm

One Response

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  1. Hey, now! I’m one of those skanks.

    rustyspigot

    March 23, 2014 at 4:23 pm


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