Happy birthday, Kelli Giddish. I enjoy seeing you on “Law and Order: SVU” and I’m looking forward to your upcoming love scenes with Ice-T . . .
Happy birthday, Miss J. Alexander. I was going to buy your self-help book for my friend Rusty, but he already claims that he has nothing left to learn since he read “Modelland” . . .
Happy birthday, Louise Lasser. A grueling schedule? A drug bust? I just want to know how you survived that hairstyle . . .
Happy birthday, Pamela Wallin. Well, at least you’re not Patrick Brazeau . . .
Happy birthday, Elle Fanning. You’re my second-favorite Fanning sister . . .