Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Posts Tagged ‘fug

Contrived Nonchalance

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evel-dick.jpg

I don’t believe there’s a single style that I loathe more than contrived nonchalance.  I can’t understand why anyone would try so hard to appear as if they haven’t tried at all.

Most people who embrace this style do it because they think that they’re making a statement against fashion.  However, most of them spend more time contriving their looks than I do (and my gorgeousness has been known to make the blind see).

Take Evel Dick, for instance.  Last year he won half a million bucks on Big Brother by pretending to be an agent of the counterculture, and he did it in Mom jeans!  Sure, they were ripped-up Mom jeans, but that doesn’t make a difference.  This guy honestly believed that he was an icon of antifashion: The essence of rebellion.

The problem with Dick was that he simply jumped off of one bandwagon and onto another.  Even worse, it was a bandwagon where all the guys hiked their jeans around their ribs so that the whole world would get a good look at their moose knuckles.

If you don’t care about your appearance, it’s no big deal.  I probably won’t be going to places where I have to look at you, anyway.  But if you’re going to pretend that you don’t care about fashion, don’t don the same uniform that all of your ugly friends are wearing.  You aren’t fooling anyone but yourself with your juvenile stunt.

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March 5, 2008 at 3:29 am

Posted in Things I Loathe

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Scrubs…

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 Scrubs

I loathe scrubs: The hideous utilitarian garments the style-challenged wear to my gym.  Nothing says unfashionable to me like a guy who has stolen his pants from a public hospital.  I can just imagine some doctor saying “I’m sorry, but little Timmy can’t have an operation to save his gangrenous leg because too much of the hospital’s budget has gone toward replacing the hundreds of pairs of scrubs that were stolen last year.”

Anyway, if you’re going to steal your clothes, why wouldn’t you steal something nice?  I don’t get it.

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February 22, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Posted in Things I Loathe

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