Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Posts Tagged ‘The Evil AntiZob

Breaking News: I liked the Marc Jacobs show . . .

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Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs

As one of those sort of people who has a difficult time saying “No,” I guess I should be able to forgive that same character flaw in others.  For that reason, I’m going to apologize to Marc Jacobs aka the Evil AntiZob for all the terrible things I’ve said about him in the past.  I believe that he’s actually displaying the talent he’s been know to have now that he’s focused on his own label.  Without a half-dozen side projects in the works, he’s put on New York Fashion Week’s best show.

Still, I can’t like him in principle yet because he’s an Aries.  In fact, as I’m writing this post I am compelled to burn the Adidas track pants that I’m wearing simply because he’s wearing the same pants in this photo.

Baby steps . . . just keep taking baby steps . . .

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February 15, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Too much time . . .

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Anna Wintour & Marc Jacobs

Anna Wintour & Marc Jacobs

Yesterday I thought that it was April 30 when I wrote my customary “Happy Birthday” post.  I had sent in my taxes, too, believing that it was the final day to submit them — I always owe the government money so I usually wait until the last minute.

So imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to discover that it’s still April today.  Normally when this sort of thing happens to other people, they find themselves missing time.  Then they start to speculate over where the time has gone, invariably blaming our reptilian alien overlords and their penchant for abducting earthlings.

Because I’m not crazy, I never to claim to be “missing time.”  However, for some strange reason I feel as if April had an extra day.  What’s even stranger is the coincidental appearance of this photo featuring Anna Wintour and Marc Jacobs aka The Evil AntiZob in matching Prada coats.  Anyone who has seen the documentary film “They Live” will agree that it’s never good to see two members of the ruling class in matching attire.  One day it’s Rolex wristwatches, the next day it’s Prada coats!

Anyway, what are these two up to?  Has the Evil AntiZob finally got to Anna Wintour?  Why do I feel as if it should be May today?  Why does my cat keep looking at me that way?

So many questions . . .

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April 30, 2013 at 2:43 pm

I’m a Pepper . . .

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Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs

I used to like Diet Coke.  However, just a moment ago I read that Marc Jacobs aka the Evil AntiZob is the new “Creative Director” for the soft drink.

Well, at least I’ve still got Diet Dr. Pepper.  Dear Zob in Heaven, please don’t let Rachel Zoe ruin that for me . . .

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February 6, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Fashion Died Twenty Years Ago

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Marc Jacobs

Yesterday was the twentieth anniversary of the infamous Marc Jacobs for Perry Ellis Grunge show.  It’s a sore spot for your old Auntie because it not only marks the day when the spirit of Zob was wrested from my body, but also because after that day it became stylish to wear expensive things with Marc Jacobs’ name on them when you could purchase the same things anywhere else for a fraction of the price.  The fashionista were buying designer clothes to emulate the style of drug addicts who were fishing their clothes out of dumpsters.

Commercialism won on the day that fashion lost.  Perry Ellis jumped the gun and fired Marc Jacobs, setting the young designer free to embark on his reign of terror which continues to this day.  What’s worse is that his practice of overcharging for garments that have his name sewn onto the label has become the standard business model for the fashion business.  Sure, others had done the same before him, but not with the support of millions of brainwashed minions who would follow their leader off a cliff.  No one else had ever created a fashion cult where the label would always supersede the design.  No one else had ever tried to become the Sun Myung Moon or Jim Jones of fashion.  No one else had dared to assume the form of the Evil AntiZob.

But I suppose that I shouldn’t complain about the blind faith of those who follow because I have my own followers.  To be perfectly frank, I’d rather be an outlier, and being the leader of the outliers is a pretty swell gig.  I might have lost my immortality on that fateful day twenty years ago, but I didn’t lose my soul.  And I can always take solace in the fact that I still have a soul . . .

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November 4, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Posted in All Glory to Zob

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It’s nice to have disciples . . .

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Etsy

My friend, fashion designer Adrienne Butikofer (who should be preparing for Maple Fashion Week), took time out of her busy schedule to send me a photo of this fabulous Zob sweatshirt she found on Etsy.  And check out the way the model is working that hood!

While some religions forbid their followers to indulge in overt displays of their faith, as the high priestess of Zobism your old Auntie Fashion applauds such obvious devotion.  In fact, the only thing that would please me more is a conspicuous Zob tattoo on an upper arm or even a forehead.

On a more solemn note, we’re about two weeks away from the twenty-year anniversary of the day that the spirit of the goddess herself was wrested from my body while I watched Marc Jacobs‘ infamous “Grunge” show for Perry Ellis on November 3, 1992.  The last thing I remember was seeing Tyra Banks sashaying down the runway, trying her best to do “Seattle” instead of “Inglewood.”  Then everything went dark . . .

On the bright side, the Zobpocalypse is nigh, and the signs are everywhere!  The luxury market is starting to show signs of weakness.  Tom Ford now has a child, as the prophecy has foretold.  And, most importantly, “America’s Next Top Model” was just renewed for a twentieth cycle so that it will be able to compete with “The Face.”  Somehow an epic battle between Tyra and Naomi Campbell has to figure into this scenario.  They’re the Optimus Prime and Megatron of our generation, although I’m still not quite sure which one is which.  Only time will tell!

Oh, and there’s one other sign.  I want to buy something I saw on Etsy.  You know we’ve fallen down the rabbit hole when . . .

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October 20, 2012 at 3:53 pm

The Word That Won’t Go Away

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Effortless

A couple of posts back I revisted my contempt for the word “effortless.”  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!  Of any cliche in the world of fashion, the one that bothers me the most is the idea that there is a heiress somewhere who slips out of bed after an all-night bender, picks up her $150, 000 Atelier Versace gown off the floor, ties her hair in a messy updo while having a cigarette and then takes her limousine to a red carpet event where she’s embraced by the paparazzi for embodying “effortless” chic.

Of course, it’s the cliche that won’t die because there are always enough people working in fashion who believe that a girl like that exists.  In the meantime, ninety-nine-percent of them are stylists who descend upon their clients in swarms in order to get them camera-ready for every envelope opening in Tinseltown.  If anyone should understand the stupidity of worshipping effortlessness, it’s them, especially if they want know-it-alls like me to take them seriously for the work they’re doing.

Anyway, just a moment ago I was clicking through a slideshow on “The Cut” entitled “122 Designers Share Their Spring 2013 Inspirations” (click the link above).  The article features a single word or phrase accompanied by an image that reflects the label’s upcoming presentation.  And what word did stylist-turned-designer Rachel Zoe aka BeelZoeBub™ use to describe her S/S 2013 collection?  “Effortless.”  No surprise there!

I can bad-mouth Marc Jacobs all day long, but lately this handmaiden of the Evil AntiZob just seems to be more evil to me than the demon himself.  Everything she does makes me feel as if fashion is the most wicked vocation the world has ever known.  Then someone else — someone with a soul — puts on a runway show that is so inspiring and so creative that it pulls me back toward the light and makes me realize that I’m not wasting my life by aspiring to remain relevant in this frivolous business.

I wonder who it’s going to be this season?  It would be nice if it was a designer who championed “effort” . . .

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August 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Canada Just Got 85 Pounds Heavier

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Rachel Zoe

In what I first thought was a screencap from the upcoming season of “The Real Housewives of Vancouver,” “Flare” has posted photos of BeelZoeBub™ descending upon Canada’s west coast like a month-long rainstorm.  She does look like she could be Jody Claman’s long-lost sister, right?

It’s no secret that I don’t like Rachel Zoe.  She’s a stylist, not a fashion designer.  She’s a corporate shill for so-called luxury brands who perpetuates the notion that style is something that is purchased.  She’s a terrible role model for young women because she seems to be completely uninterested in pursuing a healthy lifestyle.  And, worst of all, she’s the handmaiden of the Evil AntiZob.

I get flack from her fans occasionally, but that’s life.  You can’t love everything and everyone, and sometimes you can’t help hating someone (see “Jody Claman” above).  I guess I should just consider myself lucky that I’ve got my fans, too.  And never forget that the six of you mean the world to me . . .

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August 11, 2012 at 3:13 pm