Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Posts Tagged ‘Tyra

What in the name of Zob?

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Vogue

Vogue

Just in case you don’t recognize her, that’s former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant Analeigh Tipton in the last place you would ever expect to see a former ANTM contestant: on vogue.com’s weekly “10 Best Dressed” list.

Tyra must be so proud of not only discovering Analeigh, but also for teaching her everything she knows about fashion.  And this is probably the start of a regular parade of former contestants on the magazine’s website.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all to see Furonda there next, or maybe even Jael.  On that note, I wonder what she’s up to these days?

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February 4, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Jeff Colby’s Daughter is America’s Next Top Model

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Laura

Well, another season of “America’s Next Top Model” has come and gone, and once again I’m left scratching my head.  Last season it was because the girl I liked actually won the title, so I probably shouldn’t complain.  Probably . . .

Anyway, Laura James, the daughter of John James, beat out Leila and Kiara on last night’s finale episode.  John James played Jeff Colby on “Dynasty” and “The Colbys” throughout the 80s.  In fact, Jeff Colby and Fallon Carrington had a daughter named “Lauren” not long before the show wrapped up.  Although Laura claims that her mother is an former beauty queen from Australia, a little voice inside my head tells me that Laura really is Lauren Carrington and that her grandmother is Alexis Carrington.  Honestly, if that’s the only thing that’s going to make me like her, just let me believe it.

In other news, the judges scores were as arbitrary and illogical as ever.  Third-place winner Leila was told that she had the best campaign photo for Nine West and the best layout for “Nylon,” in addition to being a fan favorite since the show began, but her “high fashion” look wasn’t appropriate for a cycle that was obviously about choosing a “flawsome” girl with a curvy, Kate Upton-type body and a commercial look.  Thankfully, Tyra explained her strategy for picking a winner in the last two minutes of the show, otherwise I would have still been wondering the point of this cycle since she didn’t mention it during the previous eleven episodes.

Kiara came in second place even though this season was supposedly about the social media fans — and the social media fans hated her all along!  I actually liked her thirty-something look and I believe that she’s very telegenic.  I hope that she pursues acting or some other career where she can utilize her many talents, none of which is modeling.

And Laura won despite a sort of watered-down bitch edit.  She probably could have gotten the full-on bitch edit if it wasn’t for Kristin and Kelly Cutrone; how many bitches does one show need?  Nevertheless, I sort of enjoyed what Kristin brought to the show because if you’re going to be horrible, you can at least be pretty while you’re doing it — like Alexis Carrington!  Kelly Cutrone, on the other hand, is a full-on ogre, like Donald Trump.  Yet for some reason I can stomach his schtick and I can’t stand hers.  I guess that underneath his larger-than-life persona there is a shred of self-deprecation that makes me believe that he’s in on the joke.  Cutrone has none of that.  She’s not even the joke itself.  There’s nothing there to like.

All in all, there wasn’t that much to like about this “College Edition,” either.  It was a weak season with a flawed scoring system (“I hate this photo . . . I’ll give it an 8.”  “I love this photo . . . I’ll give it an 8.”)  The objective to embrace a more commercial look was never clear and no one did anything to mentor the models.  With “The Face” about to provide some competition to ANTM, and other “classic” reality shows actually providing some genuine entertainment because of good casting (both “Survivor” and “The Amazing Race” are wonderful this season), Tyra Banks had better do something more creative than just adding male models to the mix.  She ought to make her audience believe that her appointed winner stands a chance at a career as a professional model.  I usually don’t complain about the lack of actual modeling on this particular reality show, but this season it reached a new low.  Perhaps it wasn’t as low as Angelea vs. Lisa in the final two, but no one can prove that that really happened, right?

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November 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

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Tyra Banks to Launch America’s Next Top Model: Celebrity Edition

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Heather McDonald & Ross Mathews

Move over, Donald Trump!  You’re not the only reality TV star with a hairline that defies the laws of nature and a celebrity edition!

The CW network has announced that Cycle 21 of the hit program “America’s Next Top Model” will feature celebrities competing for the prestigious title.  Rather than playing to earn a modeling contract, however, the contestants will be attempting to win a cash prize to donate to the charity of their choice.

“There are a lot of fierce celebrities out there,” claims the host and creator of the show, Tyra Banks.  “We’re not necessarily looking for the best model, but rather someone who will represent the integrity of the ANTM brand that I’ve been working to build since the time I was seventeen and modeling in Paris.”

Like the upcoming twentieth cycle of the popular program, the celebrity edition will also allow men to compete alongside the women, including Ross Mathews of “Chelsea Lately.”  “Ross has a million-dollar smize,” Banks adds, “not to mention a booty that won’t stop tooching.”

Joining Mathews is his “Chelsea Lately” costar, Heather McDonald.  Other celebrities contestants include Alex McCord of “The Real Housewives of New York,” pop star Aubrey O’Day, TV personality Star Jones, former “American Idol” host Brian Dunkleman and former Olympian Marion Jones.  Reality star Spencer Pratt, actor Corey Feldman, former Vice President candidate Paul Ryan, high-profile lawyer Gloria Allred and renowned drag artist Shangela round out the cast.

ANTM: Celebrity Edition” is scheduled to premiere this fall on the CW network.  Check your local listings.

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November 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Karma is a bitch and so is Kristin

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ANTM

Once again, my viewing of this past week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model: College Edition” was delayed.  It’s rare for a glamourpuss like me to spend a Friday night at home watching TV, but it’s not a big deal to record the show and watch it Saturday morning.  Unfortunately, someone didn’t set the DVR even though she was sitting in front of the television when I asked her to record the show.  I guess that it was too much to ask her to temporarily reanimate her lifeless corpse and pick up the remote control.  Of course, something like that would turn your average supermodel into something that resembled Kelly Cutrone both in appearance and demeanor, but I tried to just shrug it off.  Karma will take of the matter for me.

On that topic, Karma finally caught up with Kristin this week.  The girl hasn’t been getting a good edit.  In fact, a few weeks back I accurately predicted that Leila would re-enter the competition just to watch Kristin walk out the door.  Still, I was expecting a simple deluge of fate to rain down on the aspiring model, not an epic Frankenstorm.  I’ve got to hand it to the editors: in the history of ANTM I don’t believe that another contestant has been portrayed in a more-negative manner.  Even “Princess of the ThroneMonique was just a brat.  Kristin, on the other hand, was a monster.

I’m going to poke around the web this morning to see if I can find any post-show interviews with her just to see if she was embarrassed by her behavior.  I hope that she can turn things around.  As Tyra (who looked gorgeous in this week’s episode) was sending Kristin out the door, she told the model that her face was still going to get her places.  I believe that, too.  She could be the next Anna Nicole Smith if she could just worry about how her own lack of talent impacted her performance on the show rather than agonizing over the success of the other contestants.  A face like hers doesn’t come around every day.  It’s just too bad that the technology to remove it and sew it onto someone else’s body only exists in the movies.

Next week: menacing dolphins are replaced by killer horses.  I can’t wait!

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November 5, 2012 at 4:43 pm

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The Comeback Kid

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ANTM

This week’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model” wasn’t notable for the comeback of Leila (something everyone has been expecting since she was “unexpectedly” eliminated earlier in the competition), but for the survival of Kristin.  I was sure that Leila would re-enter the competition just to watch bitchy Kristin get sent home on the very same episode.  Instead, it was Victoria who was shown the door.

I can’t say that I’m going to miss Victoria.  While other fans may have been entertained by her special brand of crazy, I found her just a little too crazy to watch.  I’ve got “American Horror Story: Asylum” for that.  I might miss Kristin when she’s gone, though.  I do believe that she’s got a super-commercial, million-dollar face, although her modeling skills leave a lot to be desired.  In this “comeback” episode, for instance, she took a photo that made her look as if she’s pregnant with the comeback kid.  This might be the worst photo of the entire cycle so far!  What entertains me about Kristin, though, is her whole “reformed mean girl” schtick.  If she’s reformed now, I wonder how mean was she before the competition started?  You probably have to go back to Cycle 3 or Cycle 4 of this show to find more reprehensible characters than Kristin and her partner-in-crime, Laura.

Other highlights of the episode included the debut of the low-budget Jamaican panel set, Tyra in a face full of makeup that would be considered excessive for a contestant on “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and a sexy dance contest that reaffirmed the notion that all Jamaicans like to hump the dance floor.  I’m going to point that out to the sixty-something Jamaican lady who lives across the street from me.  I’ve noticed there isn’t much “Dutty Wine” in her snow-shoveling technique.  Also, we learned that when Kiara isn’t retelling the story of her troubled upbringing, that she’s trying to hook up with Jamaican models.  On that note, it’s been a while since anyone got the “slut” edit on this show.  There’s always next week!

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October 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

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A Virtual Shrine . . .

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Tyra Banks

Click the link above to check out “The Tyra Banks Look Book” on The Cut.  While I’ve inadvertantly created my own virtual shrine to the best-selling author and recent Harvard graduate, this slideshow makes it so easy to peruse some of Tyra’s greatest hits, including this little number.  Why don’t I wear more butterflies in my hair?  Oh yeah — the snakes try to eat them.

Anyway, viewing the photos might not be as gratifying as watching a nineteen-cycle retrospective of Tyra’s panel outfits from “America’s Next Top Model,” including the legendary “disco pirate” and “jumpsuit” seasons, but it’s still good for a laugh.

Which one was your favorite?  Leave me a note in the comments section.

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October 24, 2012 at 5:08 pm

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Tyra Banks Yanks My Chain

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The Comeback Candidates

After calling this past week’s episode “The Girl Who Comes Back,” no one came back on “America’s Next Top Model.”  Darian, Yvonne, Jessie, Leila, Destiny and Allyssa walked onto the set at the end of the show to join recent castoff Brittany, and then the credits rolled.  Tyra Banks yanked my chain!

I have to applaud Tyra for choosing a cliffhanger ending to this episode.  It made me more eager to tune into the show next week than I’ve been all season long!  I just hope that they give each girl her due and show the shots that the social media fans voted on.  It’s been a foregone conclusion that Leila was only voted out in order to bring her back in the game so that she could watch Kristin being ousted then battle Laura for the crown, but it would still be nice if they could flesh out the “Comeback Series” for those of us who can’t watch the show on the CW website, ie: Canadians.

But I digress!  Other highlights of the show included go-sees to bush-league designers, a very special P.S.A. from Johnny Wujek in a women’s prison featuring Kiara as the “shoplifter,” continued passive/aggressive strong arming from skinny-armed Victoria, more foreshadowing of Kristin’sbitch edit” comeuppance, and Tyra’s origami mullet panel dress — what the hell was that?

Next week the girls get irie when they visit Jamaica, mon.  Of course, the plus-sized girl and the real-sized girl won’t be anywhere near the beach for the subsequent bikini shoot.  On the other hand, we’re not going to have to see Brittany in bikini and we can all thank Zob for that!

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October 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

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Art Imitates My Life

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Rachel Zoe

After reading that Tyra Banks is developing a TV comedy based upon her life, I didn’t think that this week could get any zanier.  But that all changed a moment ago when I read that BeelZoeBub™ herself is also developing a semi-autobiographical comedy for NBC.

So it’s official: being funny is in fashion!  Now let me take a moment to tell all of you to f*** off and stop stealing my schtick!  There’s only room for so many fashion comedians in this business and neither of you are self-aware or self-deprecating enough to pull off the kind of show that people would watch.  Unless, of course, that show is about a former supermodel who accidentally mistakes a scrawny stylist for a plate of barbeque ribs . . .

Oh, who am I kidding?  This stuff practically writes itself!

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October 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Are we finally going to find out what happened to Becky?

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Tyra

According to “Page Six,” Tyra Banks has struck a deal with ABC to produce a new, scripted television show based upon her life.

Fivehead” will be “a comedy based on the beauty’s teen years as she made her way through high school in LA to the biggest catwalks in fashion.  The title is a play on Banks’ notable forehead.”

Now as everyone already knows, when Tyra was seventeen and modeling in Paris, there was this girl named “I don’t know — Becky,” who shared an apartment with the Harvard Business School Owner/President Management Program graduate.  One day, Tyra woke up from her beauty sleep and Becky wasn’t there anymore.

For years and years, fans of the former Victoria’s Secret Angel and two-time “Sports Illustrated” cover girl have wondered whatever happened to Becky.  Was she homesick?  Did she just pack up and leave?  Did she check herself into rehab, or was it something more sinister like a kidnapping or an alien abduction?  What does the secretive supermodel know about Becky’s disappearance and what is she not telling us?

Of course, there’s no guarantee that the Emmy-winning star of “Tyra” and “America’s Next Top Model” will answer those questions on her new television show; the author of “Modelland” has always had a rather distant relationship with the press, preferring to let her accomplishments speak for themselves.  But for those of us who have never been able to shake the feeling that something horrible happened to Becky, this news is a figurative bright light on the horizon.

One thing that is guaranteed is that the program will focus on such sensitive topics with both discretion and modesty — qualities that have defined the “Shake Ya Body” singer throughout her long and illustrious career.  Far be it for this typically-objective critic to pass judgement on a TV show before its premiere, but I can’t imagine “Fivehead” being anything but the greatest achievement in the history of the medium.  Finding out the truth about Becky can only make it greater — perhaps the greatest cultural achievement of our time.

Please, Tyra, don’t disappoint me!  Don’t disappoint us!

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October 13, 2012 at 5:47 pm

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ANTM Sticks to the Classics

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ANTM

If you’re like me, you probably wonder where all the fabulous clothing comes from during the photo shoots on “America’s Next Top Model.”  Well, your old Auntie has done a little detective work and discovered that Tyra & Co. have been raiding the closets of Hollywood’s hottest celebrities.

Check out this photo of Bai Ling that I featured on my blog in 2009.  Yes, that’s the same dress that Nastasia wore on this past week’s episode!

Bai Ling

Like a classic Chanel suit, some things never go out of style . . .

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October 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

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