Posts Tagged ‘Wear a Gown to Work Day’
Wow! As I mentioned in my last post, vogue.com has published their own list fads that they expect to take off in the upcoming year. I’m excited that the mother of all fashion magazines has predicted “The Return of the Ball Gown” as a major trend in 2014 because the Auntie of all fashion blogs has been attempting to get more people to appreciate gowns since 2009. That’s when I came up with Wear a Gown to Work Day as a way to bring glamour and style into the humdrum lives of the vulgus.
Anyway, after an exciting start to the event where RuPaul graciously offered to act as the official spokesperson, WAGTWD had been struggling to gain relevance because the world was just not ready for a holiday devoted to something other than overeating. But now that vogue.com is ready to bring gowns back into style (like they did with shoes a few years ago), this could be the kick in the ass WAGTWD needs to really get going again.
I thought that it would be difficult to decide what to wear for Wear a Gown to Work Day. However, my decision was practically made for me when I saw Irina Kravchenko walking the Giles F/W 2013 runway with this surly expression on her face. If Irina had been working tirelessly as an ambassadrix of glamorousness only to see her efforts neglected by the world at large, this is exactly how I would expect her to look.
Anyway, I’m not going to let it get me down. I only have myself to blame because my extraordinary beauty is intimidating rather than inspiring, and my uncanny sense of style is terrorizing when it should be motivating. As Zob is my witness, I promise to be less-gorgeous in the future so that I can be a little more accessible to you, my unsightly, gownless readers.
I should just be glad that I realized that the problem is with me and not with you . . .
So, my astrologer tells me that today transiting Jupiter conjuncts my natal Jupiter. I guess that only happens once every twelve years and it’s supposed to signal a time of buoyant optimism and good fortune. Unfortunately, I’m feeling neither buoyant nor optimistic because the fifth-annual Wear a Gown to Work Day is only two days away and no one really seems to care. It’s as if the universe is taunting me with the promise of something fabulous, and yet the only fabulous thing that’s happened to me lately was when I bought a Mars Bar from a vending machine yesterday and two bars fell out. True story!
Anyway, I’m not going to be discouraged. I’m a glamour pioneer driving my chuckwagon of incomprehensible gorgeousness into the wild west of fashion. One day people will sing songs about my courageous campaign to introduce gown-wearing to the unwashed masses. They’ll name national parks after me and put my photo on stamps. They’ll finally say “She is as visionary as she is humble,” to which I’ll respond, “Tell me something I don’t know!”
Until then, however, I’ll just have to keep chuckwagoning forward into virgin territory where no fashionista has gone before while the rest of you watch from afar, like a distant herd chewing your collective cud. See you on the other side!
I should be discouraged.
Wear a Gown to Work Day is about to celebrate its fifth anniversary on May 31, 2013 and I still haven’t found a celebrity spokesperson to represent the event. Nevertheless, I’m going to soldier on and promote the grass-roots event I created in order to bring glamour to the lives of the rabble. It’s the least I can do!
I still haven’t decided what I’m going to wear. Just a moment ago I was clicking through the Burberry Prorsum Resort 2013 look book on style.com when I saw these lovely gowns that caused me to exclaim “Burberry made something I like?” What’s next? Will cats and dogs put aside their eternal rivalry? Will Glenda Bailey finally get sacked at “Harper’s Bazaar“? Will Rachel Zoe have something to eat? Who knows!
Anyway, I’m not going to be discouraged. It is my destiny to be a trailblazer. I am so far ahead of the curve that I can see my own ass in the distance, and it looks quite similar to the ass of the model in the photo I posted above — just a little firmer.
Edited to Add: The Burberry slideshow has disappeared from style.com. No one is supposed to know of the existence of these gowns for a couple of weeks. Of course, Christopher Bailey himself would probably let me borrow one for Wear a Gown to Work Day, so until he asks me to pull down this photo, I’m just going to leave it here for you all to ogle. And, by the way, what kind of designer has his collection ready two weeks early? Hasn’t Marc Jacobs taught us anything?
I have to apologize for anyone who has been reading my blog. I haven’t been terribly inspired by fashion lately. No one is really surprising me, or giving me goosebumps, or making me bang my head against the wall, etc. What I want from fashion is a reaction. At the moment I’m not reacting to much of what the world of fashion has to offer.
I did have a wonderful reaction to this dress made from biscuit trays that appeared on yesterday’s red carpet at Cannes. In fact, it made me feel guilty that I haven’t been doing much to promote Wear a Gown to Work Day 2013. I do have another celebrity spokesperson candidate waiting in the wings to promote the event, and I’m sure that she would approve of this gown. In fact, she probably already has the raw material to recreate the look in the back seat of her car. I’ll remember to ask when I interview her this week.
Anyway, as is my modus operandi, I want to apologize to all six of the people who regularly visit my blog. If I haven’t been posting much lately it’s just because inspiration waxes and wanes like the moon. I can envision a day in the near future when I don’t want to do anything else besides blogging. It’s just the way it is.
I’m a simple woman with simple tastes. For that reason, I’ll probably choose to wear this unassuming Armani Privé gown when Wear a Gown to Work Day arrives on May 31. Yet, as the saying goes, it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. Perhaps I’ll decide upon something else from my wardrobe of gowns — maybe even a different Armani number. I think I only have to get one more hole punched on my “Buy Ten, Get One Free” card from the atelier, so I’ve got some options!
I still haven’t found a celebrity spokesperson for the event. I’ve had a couple of superstars write back to me claiming that they were eager to be the face of the most glamorous holiday in the history of civilization, but everything fell apart the moment that their managers/publicists got involved in the process. I loathe people who work in PR. They make living pretending to be busy while doing mostly nothing for their clients. I’ve met a few good ones who actually understand the give-and-take relationship of the business, but those individuals are few and far between. Most are just scam artists who believe that their shit doesn’t stink.
But I digress! I’m still looking for someone to represent Wear a Gown to Work Day. This is your chance to get in on the ground floor of a holiday that will soon rival every other major fashion event in importance, including the Met Gala, the Oscars red carpet and the season finale of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Believe me, you can do much worse than associating yourself with someone as brilliant and glamorous as me.
Just a moment ago, I was scrolling through the shows on style.com when I came across this photo from the Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2013 Couture collection. Imagine a dress that comes with it’s own sweatshop! Those teeny, tiny hands do the finest embroidery . . .
While I’m still not sure what I’m going to wear for Wear a Gown to Work Day on May 31, I’m 99% sure that I’ve lined up a celebrity spokesperson for the event. Of course, her agent needs to talk to my agent who needs to clear it with the network blah blah blah. I’m quite confident that everything will go ahead soon enough, though, because people do have a difficult time saying no to me. I’m quite compelling, if you didn’t already know.
So stay tuned for more developments. And you haven’t already found a gown, by all means get out and get shopping. Prom season is coming up and Dress Barn only stocks so many gowns!