Archive for October 2010
Happy Birthday, Deidre Hall
Happy birthday, Deidre Hall. I’ve never been more frightened than the time when Dr. Marlena Evans was possessed by the devil, except for the time my friend Rusty wore spandex to the gym.
March 1999
Cover: March 1999
Context: Joe DiMaggio, baseball legend and former husband of Marilyn Monroe, dies on March 8. On March 13, “Believe” by Cher tops the Billboard Hot 100 where it will remain for four weeks. “Shakespeare in Love” wins the Oscar for Best Picture at the 71st Academy Awards on March 21. On March 29, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closes over 10,000 for the first time.
Points of Interest: Cover model Sandrine Holt was born Sandrine Ho.
What Tyra Would Say: “I love the way your eyes are saying “come hither,” yet there’s a sweetness and innocence to your body language that makes the shot work. Now let’s try it without the top . . .”.
What Auntie Fashion Says: “Urban Casual” style means wearing a shiny pink satin jacket? That’s not what my homies would say.
Grade: B.
Happy Birthday, Ivanka Trump
Happy birthday, Ivanka Trump. It’s too bad that your jewelry line isn’t selling, but I personally can’t wait until your hard hat line launches. Now that’s what I call fashion!
Shalom Means “Hello” and “Goodbye”
I haven’t posted much for a couple of days because I’ve been in shock since my bubala Esther was eliminated from “America’s Next Top Model” this past Wednesday. It reminded me of Mollie-Sue’s elimination during Cycle 6 after she delivered a dreadful commercial that apparently left the judges no choice but to let her go. Or did it?
This is Tyra’s show. She can eliminate anyone she wants to for whatever bullshit reason that comes into her head. Le Furonda, one of my favorite posters from “Television Without Pity,” put it best when she wrote:
There was something sort of strange about Tyra’s bottom two speech/elimination speech to Esther. It was like Simone’s from last cycle. Something along the lines of: “Esther, you are one of the most interesting, modelesque girls in the competition. Your face is fascinating and perfect for high fashion. You take very pretty pictures and listen to our advice. But you might be dull?” And then, “Ann, even though you had a record five FCOs, that doesn’t matter because you clearly cannot do anything but take a nice picture and therefore will never be booked. You suck ass on runway, can’t do commercial, can’t even rollerskate, and clearly are too emotionally distraught to have the confidence to be a model. Ann, you are still in the running to be America’s Next Top Model because you’re interesting.”
And then, “Esther, I’m so proud of you for standing up for curvy girls like myself! You are such a strong, beautiful role model!”
Oh well. Like Mollie-Sue and her post ANTM resume that includes beauty spreads in “Vogue Italia“, Russian “Vogue” and a Diesel campaign, Esther has a face that won’t hold her back. You would have to be a complete idiot (or Nigel Barker) to look at the girl and decide that she’s dull. Meanwhile, Ann’s dead fish eyes, Chris’ twelvehead and Kayla’s nose like a hawk’s beak remain in a competition where the prize is a BEAUTY SPREAD. Esther, who sometimes reminds me of Elizabeth Taylor, Vivien Leigh and Sophia Loren combined was sent home so that Tyra & Co. could perpetuate the rumour that the girl who wins this show would get to walk on a major runway or two — something that still hasn’t happened fifteen seasons into the show.
But Esther may have got a beauty campaign, or a perfume ad, or some work hawking eyewear if she won the title of “America’s Next Top Model.” In fact, she still might. Nothing will please me more than seeing this girl succeed despite Tyra Banks, Nigel Barker and their own special brand of the most illogical, lame-brained criticism in the world.
Happy Birthday, Kate Jackson
Happy birthday, Kate Jackson. Trying to stand out between Farrah Fawcett and Jaclyn Smith would drive me to drink, too.
Happy Birthday, Bruce Jenner
Happy birthday, Bruce Jenner. Isn’t fashion funny? It’s thirty years since “Can’t Stop the Music” came out and I’m wearing the exact same outfit today!
Happy Birthday, Simon Le Bon
Happy birthday, Simon Le Bon. It’s twenty-five years later and I’m still jealous of your hair . . .
Happy Birthday, Hillary Clinton
Happy birthday, Hillary Clinton. You’re one terrific broad. Hey — I think I just came up with your next campaign slogan!
The United Bamboo Cat Calendar is Here!
Last year’s United Bamboo calendar that featured cats in minature versions of the line’s outfits is back for 2011!
I don’t even know how to get a hold of one yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do!
Attitude by Sears
Your old Auntie hasn’t been blogging much for the past couple of days because she’s been under the weather. Every year I seem to catch a virus during Toronto Fashion Week. I used to believe that Jeanne Beker was responsible for bringing germs back to town from every other fashion week, until I discovered that she’s actually a robot. Now I don’t know who to blame!
I was able to watch most of the shows online, and once again I was delighted by the Attitude by Sears presentation. I’ve called the line “Canada’s best-kept secret” and I mean it. The world can have their Lanvin at H&M. It doesn’t look like Lanvin to me, anyway. Attitude doesn’t pretend to be a designer label at a department store price. It’s just a collection of some of the cutest, most-fashionable clothes available in this country.
I know a lot of women who wouldn’t even walk into a Sears store. I guess that’s good news for the women who have discovered Attitude. Your secret is safe with me.
Auntie Fashion 
