Archive for March 2010
America’s Next Top Jumpsuit
I suppose I should have included “SPOILER ALERT” in the headline above, but it’s too late — you’ve already seen what Tyra will be wearing to panel on tonight’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model.”
I’m enjoying this jumpsuit-themed season. I’ve been looking back at Tyra’s panel wardrobe over the previous thirteen cycles of ANTM, and I have to say that this cycle is already a close second place to my all-time favorite cycle, when Tyra went through her now-legendary “Disco Pirate” phase.
Anyway, I’ve been going through the photo archives on the CW site, compulsively collecting photos of Tyra, much like the way that my friend Rusty collects Marie Osmond’s dolls. I’m hoping to run a round-robin contest to allow my readers to vote for their all-time favorite panel outfit. Stay tuned for more.
Nicole Angela Wants Your Vote
PETA’s Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door contest wraps up in a few minutes, and I didn’t even know it existed! By the time I cast my vote, I’ll be unable to help the lovely Nicole Angela get a boob up on her competition. Had I known about this competition earlier, I would have been campaigning vigorously for the Queens resident. She’s one part Snooki, one part Pamela Anderson and one part personal floation device.
Maybe next year, Nicole Angela. Maybe next year . . .
Weird!
Everyone who reads this blog knows that I’m into astrology, yet I don’t really spend a lot of time discussing the topic much. But yesterday was such a weird day that I had to share it with you, my adoring fans.
I devoted a few too many bitter pages on this blog to “Fashion File Host Hunt” and the subsequent cancellation of “Fashion File.” I hadn’t heard much about Adrian Mainella since the show tanked, and I was surprised yesterday to read that he’s designing for a furs with Izzy Camilleri for a line called IZMA. I didn’t blame Mainella personally when “Fashion File” bit the big one, and I tried to avoid making personal attacks against the winner of “Host Hunt.” But if there’s one surefire way to get on my bad side it’s this: Become a fur designer. I don’t care how “green” and “sustainable” your line is. Everyone who copies it will be torturing animals. It’s barbaric in any guise. Adrian Mainella, now I don’t like you.
Just a few hours after that, I ran into an old friend who actually produced my TV pilot that I figured would be my ace-in-the-hole at my own “Host Hunt” audition. I figured that if someone like that was willing to take a chance on me, then the “Host Hunt” producers would see something, too. I was wrong. Anyway, my old friend and I reconnected and talked about a new project.
Not long afterward, I got a weird comment on my blog directed to “Host Hunt” finalist Henrietta Southam. It was from a childhood friend of Southam’s mother from Norway who was trying to reconnect with her old friend. I became a fan and a friend of Henrietta during the broadcast of “Host Hunt,” where she lost to Mainella. I emailed her and set the reunion in motion. That wouldn’t have happened if I had never blogged about her.
Within a couple of hours, these three incidents occured. It was all sort of weird, and a little too weird to seem like a coincidence. I feel as if fate is trying to pull me in a different direction than I was headed. Between my wretched experience at “Teen Vogue” and my rejection at the hands of the producers of “Fashion File Host Hunt,” I felt like I needed to turn my back on the world of fashion. This blog brought me back to fashion, and now I’m seeing some events from my past in a clearer light.
Maybe this is where I belong. I might make fun of my own “insider” status here on Auntie Fashion, but the truth is that I’ve always been a fashion outsider. Still, for the last couple of months I’ve felt as if the cosmos were about to hand me a key. Yesterday’s string of coincidences just confirmed that feeling. Weird!
Marjie Withajay’s Lucky Break
Stop the presses! Ricky Martin is gay!
Although this news won’t come as a surprise to most of us, it will be truly devastating to Tatie-Pie Susko, the evil sister of Moose Jaw Fashion Week muse Marjie Withajay. Although Tatie-Pie is married to west-coast donut magnate Rojando, she’s spent the last decade or so pining over the pop star and dreaming of the day when Martin would rescue her from her drab, humdrum life. Meanwhile, Marjie’s been peeling potatoes and washing the skid marks out of Rojando’s underpants, waiting for a moment when Tatie-Pie would became distracted, eager to escape from the shackles of her cruel oppressor.
That moment has arrived. Run Marjie — run like the wind! Moose Jaw is calling you, and this may be your only chance to get away. Run!
Happy Birthday, MC Hammer
Happy birthday, MC Hammer. I think I saw this pattern in Christophe Decarnin’s back pocket.
Happy Birthday, Jill Goodacre
Happy birthday, Jill Goodacre. For old time’s sake, I’d love to see you, Stephanie Seymour and Frederique on the Victoria’s Secret runway someday. It had better be soon, too. Otherwise they’ll be attaching angel’s wings to your walkers . . .
Western Canada Fashion Week?
In a thinly-veiled attempt to capitialize upon the inevitable success of Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012, the event formerly known as Edmonton Fashion Week has been renamed Western Canada Fashion Week.
While it’s nearly impossible to comprehend anything dulling the luster of Moose Jaw Fashion Week, I guess I can’t blame the organizers of this event for trying to catch a ride on my coattails. I’m Auntie Fashion, after all. If Karl Lagerfeld knocked up Anna Wintour, the baby wouldn’t have a fraction of my je ne sais quois. And although Edmonton is undeniably Canada’s second-most glamorous city, no one has ever called it Canada’s Glamour Capital. That distinction belongs to Moose Jaw alone.
I suppose that other prairie cities will be trying to get a piece of the action as 2012 draws nearer and nearer. It won’t surprise me if Flin Flon tries to get in on the action next season. Flin Flon, as everyone in-the-know already knows, is the birthplace of street style and all urban trends. While a Flin Flon Fashion Week would provide an interesting counterpoint to Moose Jaw Fashion Week, it would always be the homely little sister of the premiere event, trying too hard to be edgy and alternative just to spite it’s big sister — sort of like Ashlee Simpson-Wentz.
But I digress! The organizers of Western Canada Fashion Week have scored a coup by coaxing Joeffer Caoc to show in Edmonton. I suppose there was some blackmail involved, or perhaps Caoc just grew weary of Robin Kay calling him “Joeffer Fresh” backstage. At any rate, it’s exciting to see an established Canadian designer showing in a city other than Montreal or Toronto. I’ve even extended an invitation to Joeffer to be interviewed by me in order to lend some credence to the event. I can’t imagine that he’ll pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but I do occasionally face rejection from people who are intimidated by my legendary status and blinding glamour. I’ll guess I’ll have to wait and see if he responds.
EDITED TO ADD: Someone from Joeffer Caoc’s headquarters emailed me this morning to let me know that the designer is not showing his F/W 2010 collection in Edmonton. Although he might include a few sneak peeks of upcoming looks, the runway presentation is not intended to highlight the designer’s upcoming collection, as implied in the promotional material printed in The Edmonton Journal.
Happy Birthday, Kate Gosselin
Happy birthday, Kate Gosselin. Until you joined the cast of “Dancing with the Stars,” I didn’t like you at all. Now I only want you kicked off in tenth place, not last place. I guess that’s a move in the right direction.
Summer 1994
Cover: Summer 1994
Context: Nelson Mandela is inaugurated as the first black president of South Africa on May 10. Ice hockey becomes Canada’s official winter sport on May 12. Jacqueline Kenneday Onassis dies on May 19. On June 12, Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman are found murdered outside Simpson’s LA home. The subsequent trial and acquittal of O.J. Simpson will become one of the most newsworthy scandals in history. From July 15 to July 21, twenty-one fragments of Comet Shoemaker-Levy crash into Jupiter.
Points of Interest: The cover look is a dress by Giorgio Armani Le Callezioni, and not a delicious, fancy version of the calzone from Pizza Hut. The typo in the credits could have some readers confused.
What Tyra Would Say: “What I like about this photo is that even after her fourth margarita, Chantall is modeling through her drunkeness.”
What Auntie Fashion Says: With only one headline and a dozen words, I’m still intrigued by the copy on the front of this magazine. Contrast that with this month’s issue. Yes, less is more . . .
Grade: B+.
Auntie Fashion 
