Posts Tagged ‘interviews’
It’s no secret that your dear, old Auntie is a disco queen. When I get on the dance floor, I leave it all on the dance floor — the kid who mops up after me at the local club knows exactly what I mean! Anyway, I was scrolling through the songs on my iPod not too long ago when I realized that I’ve downloaded more singles by the ultra-gorgeous Ultra Naté than by any other artist. And unlike all you thieves, I’ve paid full-price for every track! That made think that Ultra owed me something, so I called her up for an interview. Of course, she was eager to oblige because my reputation as a crack reporter precedes me. I’m like a female version of Piers Morgan, except that I’m likeable . . .
Auntie Fashion: I’ve been working out to your music for as long as I can remember. In fact, I break out into a sweat every time I hear your name, like a dog that drools when it hears a ringing bell. Is it just me, or does that happen to your other fans, too? Do they have any other strange reactions in your presence?
Ultra Naté: LOL! That’s awesome . . . glad to have that effect. I’ve been told that most get extremely happy and wanna dance till the sun rises.
Auntie Fashion: Here in Canada you had tremendous chart success with your Stars on 54 remake of Gordon Lightfoot’s “If You Could Read My Mind.” Why haven’t you tried to recreate that formula by turning another song by a classic Canadian recording artist into a pumping dance track? What about “Hot Girls in Love” by Loverboy, or “Snowbird” by Anne Murray?
Ultra Naté: Hmmm never considered those tracks but we don’t wanna ruin the magic . . . it has to be organic.
Auntie Fashion: You’ve also covered the Pointer Sisters’ “Automatic.” Did you know that the Pointer Sisters won the Grammy for Best Country Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group in 1974 for a song called “Fairytale”? Have you ever thought about dabbling in country music?
Ultra Naté: I never have but I’m not opposed to any style of music if I love the song.
Auntie Fashion: I feel the same way about fashion. I’m not opposed to anything, and that’s why I’m wearing culottes right now! Anyway, artists who succeed in the world of dance music usually have their finger on the pulse of fashion, and you’re no exception. For that reason you’ve had almost as many crazy hairstyles as Patti LaBelle. What is the one style in particular that you regret the most?
Ultra Naté: Probably the ones that obscured my face. Some people are still not exactly sure what I look like. But I kinda like that, too . . .
Auntie Fashion: According to your Wikipedia page, you’re planning on calling your new album “Hero Worship.” Besides me, who are your heroes?
Ultra Naté: People in general inspire me. Those finding their way no matter how ill things get are my heroes. That’s what the album is about . . . finding that inner hero . . . that inner strength.
I don’t admit to worshipping many celebrities. In fact, I spend an awful lot of time blogging about how much I loathe today’s red carpet culture and those Z-grade celebrities who attempt to become brands even before they’ve become stars. For that reason I adore Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Before she became a legend of merchandising and licensing, she made a name for herself in Hollywood the old-fashioned way: Suggestively sprawled across a couch with her boobs nearly spilling out of her dress.
Speaking of that couch, Elvira’s famous red sofa is about to make a return to television, along with her famous boobs. This fall, “Elvira’s Movie Macabre” is coming back from the dead, like a brain-eating zombie or acid wash jeans. But in even more exciting news, Elvira is coming to Canada. The Mistress of the Dark will be appearing at Montreal Comic-Con on September 11 & 12, 2010. This is the spookiest thing to happen to La Belle Provence since Céline Dion’s wedding!
I have Elvira on speed-dial, of course , so I called her up in order to give her the opportunity to bare her soul to the loyal readers of Auntie Fashion. Like Lady Gaga dressed as Larry King, I posed the tough questions no other journalist has been brave enough to ask.
Auntie Fashion: In this day and age of Hollywood stylists and nightly red carpet events, do you ever have people trying to dress you? If Karl Lagerfeld sent you a Chanel Haute Couture gown, would you feel obliged to wear it?
Elvira: Hmmm, not really . . . I’m more of a ‘right off the rack’ kind of gal.
Auntie Fashion: I was virtually hypnotized by the final scene in “Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.” What happened to that bra with the tassels? Is it in a plexiglass case in some Planet Hollywood restaurant somewhere?
Elvira: No, unfortunately I think it’s somewhere on the floor behind my living room couch.
Auntie Fashion: Speaking of that scene, it’s also my dream to have a Vegas show at the Flamingo, but Donny and Marie won’t get the hell out of the showroom. Got any ideas to hasten their departure?
Elvira: Ever see the movie “Carrie“? A bucket of pig’s blood works every time.
Auntie Fashion: Last time I was in Vegas, I won $200 playing the “Elvira” slot machine. Do you want it back?
Elvira: Congrats on the big win! My royalty check’s in the mail, right? They don’t call my machines “the loosest slots in town” for nothing!
Auntie Fashion: Back in my day, vampires were a bloodthirsty lot. Nowadays they’re all so sensitive and lovey-dovey. What do you think of the current vampire craze?
Elvira: Ugh . . . gag me with a crucifix! Vampires aren’t supposed to sparkle. They’re supposed to SUCK!
Auntie Fashion: You’ll be joined at Comic-Con by Data from “Star Trek,” and both Lando Calrissian and Chewbacca from “Star Wars.” How will you compete for the attention of all those comic book nerds with legends of the sci-fi genre in the room?
Elvira: I’ve got a big advantage over the likes of Data and Chewbacca . . . actually two. I think I’ll do just fine.
“Wear a Gown to Work Day” is swiflty approaching, so in an act of desperation I asked my soul sister Pandora Boxx to step into the role of celebrity spokesperson for May’s most important holiday after Cinco de Mayo, Mother’s Day, Victoria Day in Canada, Memorial Day in the USA, Constitution Day in Poland, National Tap Dance Day and Brooke Shields’ 45th birthday.
I’d like to thank her for helping me out at the last minute. I’d also like to thank the New York State Department of Correctional Services and especially Warden Sutter for generously allowing Pandora to use the library computer. You’re a peach!
Auntie Fashion: I originally tried to get Heather from “Rock of Love” to be the official celebrity spokesperson for “Wear a Gown to Work Day,” but she backed out. When I needed someone to replace her, you were the first person to come to mind because you’re like an amalgam of every contestant who has ever competed on “Rock of Love.” Will the fact that you’re my second choice affect the manner in which you perform your official spokesperson duties?
Pandora Boxx: I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or if it’s like that one time I wore flannel skorts and you told me I looked hot. You are a tricky one, Auntie Fashion! I came in second so many times on “Rupaul’s Drag Race” that I’m getting used to it now. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride! Being second choice will not affect any of my official duties for being the spokeslady of “Wear a Gown to Work Day.” I’ve got my old knee pads all buffed and polished for all of my ‘duties.’
Auntie Fashion: Technically, a gown should hang somewhere well below the knees. I rarely see you in a hemline that doesn’t end abruptly around the middle of your thighs. Are you trying to tell me that “wearing a gown” is really just a state of mind, or are you going to put on some clothes and stop dressing like such a slut when the special day arrives?
Pandora Boxx: I say that a wearing a gown is more of a state of mind. In fact, right now I’m wearing ruby slippers, pasties and a thong for the occasion and I feel as classy as if I were wearing a gown. Fake ladies and biological ladies alike can always feel the glamour of wearing a gown even if they don’t have one on. And by the way, when did being a slut become a crime? I learned it from watching you!
Auntie Fashion: A slut? How dare you! I married every one of those eleven men! Anyway, taking on the role of a celebrity spokesperson can be a daunting task because everyone will be looking to you as a role model: An exemplification of the highest level of personal conduct. On that note, is there anything in particular that girl shouldn’t do while wearing an evening gown?
Pandora Boxx: I think anything is acceptable to do while wearing a gown, just get the cash up front.
Auntie Fashion: Can you offer a few words of inspiration to that homely girl from Madison, Wisconsin who sits in her cubicle reading “Auntie Fashion” during her lunch break, just waiting for someone, somewhere to offer her a scrap of glamour from their heaping plate of fabulousness? What should “Wear a Gown to Work Day” mean to her?
Pandora Boxx: It simply means that she should jump at the chance to wear a gown since it sounds like she won’t ever be asked out to the prom. Ha! But in all seriousness (because let’s face it “Wear a Gown to Work Day” is serious business, kids), this is the one time you can bring some glamour to your glamour starved world. Do it up! Strut your stuff in the ‘gown’ of your choice! Be fabulous for once in your life.
Auntie Fashion: That’s so inspiring! I’m going to start a paper route right now and donate the money I make to homely, gownless girls in Wisconsin. Getting back to the event, now that I’ve offered you this plum position, I suppose you’ll be rebranding yourself as a fashion icon. What’s next for Pandora? A celebrity fragrance? A runway collection? A guest spot on “The Hills” with an internship at “Teen Vogue“?
Pandora Boxx: All of it! I want it all! I’m currently working on a fashion line called “Homeless Chic” as well as my new fragrance that is called “Carnival Whore.” It is a mixture of cotton candy, circus peanuts and just a tiny bit of clown sweat. The tagline reads: Once a carny, always a carny. You can also look for me spreading my own version of glamour on “RuPaul’s Drag U” coming this July to Logo!
Auntie Fashion: I can’t wait! If there’s one thing we can count on, it’s you spreading something. Thanks, Pandora!
Wear a Gown to Work Day is on Friday, May 28. Click the tag below to read more.
Pandora Boxx and I go waaaaaay back. Even before we shared a bunk as camp counsellors at Tyra’s T-Zone Camp, taking girls on a “fierce, self-esteem building adventure,” we were like sisters. So I was delighted to see my older and slightly fatter sister cast on “RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 2.” Of course, she was delighted to consent to my request for an interview, meeting me at the Arby’s near a street corner she frequents. Say what you will about Pandora, but don’t ever say that she doesn’t put the “whore” in “publicity whore.”
Auntie Fashion: You remind me of a young Cricket Blair from “The Young and the Restless” ca. 1983, modeling for Jabot Cosmetics. Do you believe that being a fresh-faced ingenue who never appears to age is working for you or against you? Are other women jealous of your timeless beauty?
Pandora Boxx: I hope that I can have the same pizazz that had Cricket go from a bit part to a lead! I’m certainly hoping for the same in my new career as a reality television starlet. I must say, you can only patch a crack so many times before that Spackle just won’t fill it anymore. I’m hoping that by sleeping in a Tupperware bed and drinking formaldehyde I can preserve my fresh-faced ingenue look. Jealousy is almost as ugly as a 100-year-old woman in a backless gown. I hope people don’t waste their energy on being jealous. Put all that energy to good use, like on that Brazilian pool boy your neighbors just hired. Grrr!
Auntie Fashion: I wouldn’t be so vulgar as to ask you “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” Instead, I’d like to ask you this: If you were a flower that resembled a vagina in a Georgia O’Keeffe painting, what flower that resembled a vagina would you be?
Pandora Boxx: Definitely the lotus flower. The lotus flower begins life as a small flower at the bottom of a pond with all the mud and muck. It slowly follows the light until it blossoms into its full beautiful bloom. I feel that is the journey my life has taken me. Now don’t think I’m calling anyone or anywhere “mud and muck!” It was my own personal mud and muck I had to climb out of to fully realize the beauty I had from within. We all have that beauty, we just need to find it in ourselves. Plus, if my va-jay-jay looked like a lotus flower that would be one hot looking vag!
Auntie Fashion: Phew! I’m glad you didn’t choose the corpse lily or the stinking hellebore. Anyway, your body is amazing! You’re as ropy as a Jackie Stallone headband. Can you share some of your diet and workout secrets with the readers of Auntie Fashion?
Pandora Boxx: Why thank you! Who doesn’t want to be compared to a Jackie Stallone headband? I subsist on a strict diet of tissues and breath mints. I also try and give lots of blow jobs because honestly that is the only way you can truly get great abs.
Auntie Fashion: And it shows, even in your well-muscled jawline! Moving on, of all the reality shows I expected to see you on, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” really wasn’t on my radar. I guess I’ve always seen you as the next “Bachelorette.” Is your love life so satisfying that you don’t need to sleep with dozens of strangers on television as millions of strangers look on? Should I be jealous?
Pandora Boxx: I say even with a satisfying love life who wouldn’t want to sleep with dozen of strangers? When it comes to my sexplotations, I am a bit of a private fake lady. I wouldn’t want millions of people watching my fornication. I’ve got to keep some mysteries hidden in my box (pun intended). Oh, who am I kidding? If it gets me my own television show, I’ll dabble with whoever they toss in front of me. I’m a showgirl! I do whoever or whatever needed to make it a good show.
Auntie Fashion: With your career poised to take off after the premiere of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” do you have plans to stop talking to the little people? Anyone in particular?
Pandora Boxx: Last week, there was this one guy who came to my show and looked at me like I had pooped in his shoe. I won’t be talking to him. And this girl who used to make fun of my say-something-scarves I wore in high school will not be talked to ever again. Seriously though, I would never stop talking to anyone. Everyone who has supported me over the years and come to my shows, voted for me online, watched my videos, sent me emails, left Facebook comments and any other encouraging gesture has guided me to where I am now. I am eternally grateful to each and every person and they will not be forgotten. If it weren’t for them, I’d still be dancing around my locked bedroom in my panties lip-syncing to Madonna songs, all by myself. Okay, so sometimes I still do that now but just for fun!
RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 2 premieres Monday, February 1, 2010, at 9:00/8:00 Central on LOGO. Stay tuned for updates on the Canadian premiere date, and click the link above to watch sneak peaks and read more about the show. Also, click here to become a fan of Pandora Boxx on Facebook.
Anyone who lived through the first half of the 80s probably spent a lot of time watching “Solid Gold.” Back in the olden days, we didn’t sit down at the computer when we wanted to see our favorite musical artists performing: We watched them on TV. The best place to see them — and hear them — was on “Solid Gold,” the show that was made even more memorable because of the “Solid Gold Dancers.” They were a fabulously fit ensemble who counted down the week’s top hits with jazzy routines and a seemingly unlimited supply of spandex, headbands and hairspray.
The most famous of these dancers was Darcel. Bearing the title “Principal Dancer,” Darcel grooved her way into our homes every Saturday afternoon for four seasons between 1980 and 1984. After leaving the show temporarily, she rejoined the cast in 1985 before leaving again in 1986 to raise a family.
I was delighted to hear from Darcel when she left a comment on my blog after I suggested that we should collaborate on a “Solid Gold“-style top-ten countdown of the style.com top-ten collections. While I’m not quite sure how we’re going to make that happen, I was able to coax Darcel into an interview with yours truly where we discussed — among other things — the panties as pants look and today’s TV dance shows.
Auntie Fashion: Thanks to celebrities like Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Shakira, fashion is having a “pantsless” moment. Unitards, tights and bodysuits are de rigueur. People attribute this fad to a lot of different sources, but I can’t think of anyone who wore pants less often than you. Would you say that fashion is having a “Darcel” moment? Are you surprised that you’re a trendsetter twenty-five years after the fact?
Darcel: Yes. Fashion is definitely having a “Darcel” moment. The 80s are back, I’m back and I’m having a panty moment right now. And I’m still glad I can get into some panties. No, I am not surprised that I am a trendsetter. Anything that is good and unique never leaves and just gets better — better than before. What goes around comes around.
Auntie Fashion: The memory of you swinging around your braids while counting down the top ten is forever etched in my memory. However, looking back at video footage of you on YouTube made me realize that you had dozens of hairstyles. How much time did you actually spend in hair and makeup every week? Was it difficult?
Darcel: Not difficult. It was a lot of hours. Braids and nails every week. All the dancers would come to my house and everyone was on the payroll. Sometimes I would fall asleep while I was getting my braids done. Glenn, my husband at the time [Glenn Leonard of The Temptations], would bring us food. One time we were trying to get my hair to look like Crystal Gayle’s hair. The braids were down to my ankles. I tucked the long braids in my belt and used that hair like a whip. However, all the dancers who were next to me had to duck and move out of the way of those whipping braids.
Auntie Fashion: Dancing is the focus of a few of today’s tremendously popular competitive reality shows. What do you think of “Dancing with the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance“? If you were a kid back in Pittsburgh today, would you be lining up to audition for SYTYCD?
Darcel: I like “Dancing with the Stars.” It’s good. It shows as long as you have a desire, you can dance. I love the way they transform the dancers. It brings them great joy! On “So you Think You Can Dance”, I appreciate the art, but there is too much gymnastics. I have to get my “Hey, Hey” on. I don’t have time for leaping and acrobatics. No, I would not be auditioning for SYTYCD.
Auntie Fashion: Was there a sense of competition behind-the-scenes at “Solid Gold” like on today’s TV shows? Did you have to win a challenge or be voted “fan favorite” to become the lead dancer?
Darcel: In becoming the lead dancer, I just had to be myself. Brad’s exact words were “How come they’re not doing what Darcel’s doing? Let’s call her principal dancer and let her do what she does.” Everyone is unique. We have to work the gift. You can never capitalize on someone else’s style.
Yes, there was competition between the dancers. A love-hate thing. I was always bringing the other dancers forward for the Countdown and because of that there were a lot of changes in the dancer’s union. Dancers got paid more. I have much respect for dancers and their hard work and they needed to be paid. And even still, they were envious of me.
Auntie Fashion: Like everyone else, I’ll always remember the countdowns on the show. Are you nostalgic? Do you ever find yourself counting down anything in dance anymore, like the “Top Ten Items on Darcel’s Grocery List?”
Darcel: Everything I do is done with counts. I do everything with a list. Counting down in my sleep and when my eyes are open. My life is a countdown.
I am nostalgic. The 80s were my prime time days, my best days. But . . . the best is yet to come. SEXY’S BACK and SHE’S STILL . . . SOLID GOLD.
It’s no secret that I wanted Jessica Biffi to win Project Runway Canada Season 2. Like a lot of her fans, I saw the type of creativity in her work that made me want to see more! I was thrilled to see her earn a place in the finals and — even though she didn’t win — I was happy that she was beaten by someone as talented as Sunny Fong.
I decided to catch up with Jessica this week to ask her a few questions. We met at the Metro Toronto YMCA where Jessica was busting out her best moves in a hip hop class. Girlfriend is so, so def. It was almost embarrassing dancing beside her in the class because she made the rest of us look like rank amateurs, or — as they call us in the hood — white girls.
Anyway, in between a little crunk and some poppin’ and lockin’, Jessica graciously took the time to answer a few of the hard-hitting questions this crack journalist is always ready to ask.
Auntie Fashion: I hate to do this to you, but I was so eager to promote the first-ever Wear a Gown to Work Day on May 29 that I forget to find something to wear. Can you whip me up a gown? Or better yet, can you make us matching outfits? I think I can safely say that we’d both look lovely in slippery, lime-green taffeta.
Jessica Biffi: What is this? An off air challenge? Have you been talking to Kim? Slippery, lime-green . . . taffeta? Things I make out of taffeta do not look like puke! Although a lime-green with a little chain might be hot!
Auntie Fashion: I agree! And I adore taffeta — it’s my signature fabric. I like anything that can make a really puffy leg-o-mutton sleeve. Anyhow, there’s a rumor going around town that you’re trying to parlay your success on Project Runway Canada into another reality TV gig. So how did your audition for So You Think You Can Dance Canada go, anyway?
Jessica Biffi: Well I shouldn’t say, but they totally loved my victory dance moves on PRC and asked me to go right on to Toronto Week without even having to audition. I know its not fair, but excited kicks and dancing on the spot get you far in life, and I’m gonna ride that dance train. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. But seriously, I love So You Think You Can Dance!
Auntie Fashion: I was also thrilled to discover that you’ve connected with the lovely Vicki BlackNasty from the casting site for RuPaul’s Drag Race. She tells me that you’re soul sisters now. If Vicki gets cast on the show, is there any advice that you could give her as someone who has made it to the finals of a reality show?
Jessica Biffi: Girl! I love that show! And I watched Miss BlackNasty’s auditions and I think she is A-Mazing! A fly girl can go a long way! You gotta do you, that’s my advice. Keep your head on right (and in Vicki’s case, head, wig and face) and you can “Chante, you stay” all the way! Bring you to the table on every challenge, and you will be all sprite!
Auntie Fashion: I know that you’re contractually obliged to shut your trap about PRC, but what can you tell me about Rita Silvan? Every other fashion magazine editor in Canada adores me, but Rita won’t even return my calls. I guess that I shouldn’t have compared the staff at Elle Canada to the girls on the Rock of Love Bus, but I meant it in the nicest possible way. Do you think Rita will ever forgive me?
Jessica Biffi: You know, Rita is a very classic type of woman. She likes her fashion but she is definitely more on the conservative side, and I think that might be why she didn’t like the Love Bus comment. I don’t really know Rita on a personal level, but if we ever get there, I’ll put in a good word for you.
Auntie Fashion: Thanks! As my favorite contestant on your season of PRC, I was thrilled to see you show at LG Toronto Fashion Week. I could tell it was the highlight of your career so far. Do you believe that you’ll be just as excited to show at Moose Jaw Fashion Week 2012?
Jessica Biffi: Awww . . . thanks for the love! I was super excited, and the biggest thrill for me as a designer are the shows! I’m thinking LG for 2012, but I’m really really excited for the Nunavut Spring/Summer shows!
Just when I thought that Wear a Gown to Work Day was going to languish like my campaign to raise money for those poor runway models who get tripped up in their high heels during fashion week, a platinum blonde angel has flown down from the heavens to help me out!
RuPaul has offered to act as the Celebrity Spokesperson for the first ever Wear a Gown to Work Day on May 29, 2009. I’m sure that she’ll work tirelessly to spread the word about this very special event. With this sort of endorsement, I’m sure the staff at Hallmark will be working overtime to get greeting cards that celebrate the day on the shelves of a store near you.
I wasn’t actually able to meet with RuPaul because we’re both so busy (she’s promoting a new album, gearing up for a new round of casting for RuPaul’s Drag Race, and I’m taking a night class on do-it-yourself cat spaying) , but I was able to ask her a few questions via email. I just imagined that I was back in South Coast Plaza in the 90s when the yet-to-open MAC store was covered in billboard-sized photos of Ru looking more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen before. Standing in front of those images made me feel as if I had been granted an audience with the Queen, and I’ll never forget it.
Anyway, I’m sure you’re all dying to read the interview, so here it is:
Auntie Fashion: I’m so honored that you’ve accepted the role of the first-ever official celebrity spokesperson for Wear a Gown to Work Day on Friday, May 29. I know that you were hoping to usurp Angelina Jolie’s position as the UN’s Goodwill Ambassadrix, but this is a far more glamorous role. Would you call it the greatest achievement of your career?
RuPaul: I live in the moment so my greatest achievement is waking up today and continuing to be interested in life, love and my career.
Auntie Fashion: I had sent out an invitation to Dancing with the Stars’ Carrie Ann Inaba to take on this prestigious role, but I still haven’t heard back from her. Why was it so important for you to snatch this plum position away from her? Am I correct in assuming that the two of you are arch-rivals?
RuPaul: I have absolutely no idea who that person is. I have seen clips of Dancing with the Stars on YouTube but I can’t say I’ve ever watched the show. But I can say that encouraging people to wear a gown to work has always been one of my lifelong goals.
Auntie Fashion: So what do you say to that stock girl at Wal-Mart who claims that she doesn’t want to wear a gown to work because she can’t find anything to match her blue smock?
RuPaul: In most cases many fashion rules don’t apply when you’re wearing a fabulous gown. The utter audacity of wearing a gown to work overrides the matter of color coordination.
Auntie Fashion: I was delighted to learn that the casting process for season two of RuPaul’s Drag Race is going to begin on May 1. Are there any tips you would like to give to the girls who are vying for the crown?
RuPaul: The greatest tip I can offer to potential contestants is to keep in mind we are looking for Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. If you don’t possess them, you needn’t apply.
Auntie Fashion: As the mortal representation of Zob, I’m always trying to take my blinding glamour down a notch so that I don’t alienate my fans with my unattainable beauty and grace. I suppose you’ve had the same problem, so — as a “natural beauty” — is there any advice you can give me to make my look a little more accessible to the rabble?
RuPaul: On the surface it may seem that playing down your beauty is a way to make others feel good about themselves, but in reality the opposite is true. You do yourself and other people a disservice by playing small. Always turn the volume as high as possible when presenting your unique brand of glamour.