Auntie Fashion

I’m the fashion world’s most-enduring muse.

Archive for April 2009

If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your country . . .

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the-patriot

The Patriot

For those of you who are still waffling over what to wear for Wear a Gown to Work Day, I have a suggestion.  What about your old prom dress?

It’s rather wasteful to purchase a prom dress only to wear it once.  I’m sure that the lovely young lady in this photo thought the same thing, and that’s probably why she chose a dress that she could wear again when another special occasion arrived.  Obviously, she wanted her prom dress to do double duty on the Fourth of July.  If Wear a Gown to Work Day had been invented when this photo was taken, perhaps she would have chosen something appropriate for that event.  In any case, she was thinking ahead, just like you need to do before the big day arrives on May 29.

And remember, if you can’t wear a gown for yourself, please try to wear one for your country.  There are a lot of places in the world where women won’t be wearing gowns to work because they aren’t allowed to work.  Take this opportunity to show the world how proud you are to be living in a country where women like you are free to do their own thing, free to make money doing it, and free to spend that money on gorgeous gowns!

It’s not about you.  It’s about freedom!

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April 30, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Fo No Mo’

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America's Next Top Model

Fo

Indeterminate-Ethnicity aka Fo was put on a plane and sent back to America on last night’s episode of America’s Next Top Model.  Brazilian designers, it seems, don’t like girls who are 5’8″.  Fo wasn’t able to book a single client after attending five go-sees.

I’d like to take a measuring tape to Fo.  I don’t believe that she’s 5’8″.  The judges complained about her proportions over and over again, but I suspect that they cast a girl who didn’t meet the height requirements of the show and then threw her off when they “discovered” that she was short.

Nevertheless, I also believe that Fo could have a decent career as a model.  She’s adorable and completely commercial.  I’d buy gum from her, or diet cola, or tampons . . .

On the topic of short contestants, Eva Marcille appears to be getting more screen time on The Young and the Restless.  With a gig like that, she’s poised to become the most-successful winner in the history of the ANTM franchise.  Sure, she might not be modeling, but did anyone expect a girl her height to be booking a lot of runway work?  Not me!

Maybe Fo should move to Genoa City, too.  Jabot Cosmetics needs a new fresh face.

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April 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Posted in A Soupçon of Je Ne Sais Quois

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Happy Birthday, Stephen Harper

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stephen-harper

Stephen Harper

Happy birthday, Stephen Harper.  I’m sure your wife is a lovely lady, but in this day and age of Carla Bruni and Michelle Obama, the style-conscious voter needs more from a first lady.  What about Coco Rocha?

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April 30, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

One Month To Go!

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gowns

Gowns

I stumbled upon a great gallery of the “ugliest” bridesmaid dresses on the People magazine website.  While I don’t agree that every dress is ugly, I can understand why many of these photos are so laughable in today’s day and age.  Still, you never know where fashion is going to go.  What’s ugly today could be defined as “classic” tomorrow — it happens!  It happens the other way, too.  I remember a time in the 80s when I admired Joan Collins because she was so classy.  No, I’m not kidding . . .

Anyway, seeing these dresses did give me a great idea.  Say you have gown in your closet like one of the lovely Holly Hobby polyester numbers in the photo above.  Say you work at Mr. Lube or in the lumber department of Home Depot.  Do you really want to be the one girl at your place of employment who isn’t participating in Wear a Gown to Work Day?  Of course not!

Don’t let that old bridesmaid dress hang in your closet for one more day.  Pull it out and put it on!  Remember that it’s not the dress that makes you glamorous.  Glamour is a state of mind!  So what if you get a big blotch of motor oil on your gown?  As Tyra Banks would say, you need to take that blotch and “make it fashion.”

You’ve got one month to get it together.  Don’t be the only girl in the lumberyard who isn’t wearing a gown.  Now that would be embarrassing!

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April 29, 2009 at 5:08 pm

When Muses Collide

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ines-de-la-fressange

Inès de la Fressange

I wouldn’t call Inès de la Fressange my rival, but I wouldn’t call her my friend, either.  It’s a little more complicated than that.

She’s in Toronto right now, so I’ve chosen to fly to a safe, undisclosed location in order to avoid getting too close to the legendary muse.  In muse physics, if the two of us were to stand side-by-side our combined gorgeousness would suddenly turn the attention of the entire universe onto us, causing it to collapse on itself.

Anyway, if any of you are worth your weight in Chanel, you’ll be scouring the streets today trying to get a glimpse of Inès.  Forget about editing the next issue of FASHIONCeri Marsh will understand if you leave for lunch and don’t come back.

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April 29, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Happy Birthday, Eve Plumb

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eve-plumb

Eve Plumb

Happy birthday, Eve Plumb.  I have to admit that seeing “Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway” saved me from a life of drugs and prostitution back in 1976.  Okay, it didn’t, but it did make me rock out with the Runaways.  “Hello Daddy, hello Mom, ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!”

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April 29, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Posted in Fashionably Old

Why Glamorous People Don’t Hug

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lil-kim-and-derek-hough1

Lil’ Kim and Derek Hough

During last night’s action-packed episode of Dancing with the Stars, Lil’ Kim and ballroom professional Chelsea Hightower inadvertantly hugged after performing a group tango routine.  For the next couple of minutes, they remained stuck together as their hair accessories became entangled.

I suppose this is why the air kiss has become the requisite greeting amongst the beautiful people.  Imagine Marc Jacobs hugging Jeanne Beker backstage only to have his chest hair entwined in the Swarovski crystals on her frock.

I originally believed that the fashionista just didn’t like to touch each other, but this explanation makes so much more sense, doesn’t it?

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April 28, 2009 at 4:01 pm